We don’t have a great record against the Dogs. We beat them last year which impressed me, but lost in 2017 and 2019.  They are one of several teams whom we often struggle against, even when we are travelling a lot better than they are.  Right now they are on six wins and on top of the ladder.  We have won three and lost three and you could say that our season hangs in the balance.  That might be a slight exaggeration, but you could still say it and plenty of pundits are.

I can’t get a ticket without paying a lot for an average seat and so I don’t go and I don’t feel bad about that. And with the children out doing their own thing it’s just my partner and me at home.  She suggests In the Line of Duty and I think that sounds good.  I’ll tape the footy and if we get smashed I won’t even have to watch it.

First Quarter

In any case, I get to see the first quarter before she gets home and it doesn’t look great.  In fact, it looks a like our game against Melbourne – long stretches of fruitless Richmond dominance, good opportunities wasted, followed by bursts of counter-attack from the Dogs where they kick a goal.  If it keeps going like this we’ll get “dashed” as my daughter once put it.

The Tigers begin well, winning the first clearance and getting the ball in quickly to Riewoldt who takes a good mark, turns and kicks it into Lynch who gets hands to it but can’t take the grab.  Broad and others defend well against the fist Doggies attack and after three minutes Lynch marks Short’s thoughtful kick deep in the pocket.  He kicks a good point on the near side.

Collier-Dawkins wins a free, his first kick in AFL, on the forward flank.  He sends it in quite quickly but we can’t take a grab.  Baker is already very busy on the forward line.  Riewoldt flies but can’t hold it, Eastern-Wood has the ball forever and loses it in the tackle but there’s no free.  The Dogs rebound and Scott snaps and goals from a tight angle.  It’s 1.1 to our single point, after five minutes of Richmond domination.

Lynch marks 80m out and kicks it to a Bulldog.  But he keeps trying, takes another very good mark and passes Collier-Dawkins 48m out.  The young feller dishes off to Short who kicks long and misses.  He should have let the young feller do that by himself.

Nankervis makes a huge tackle on Bailey Dale.  No doubt about the Tigers’ intent, but can they bring their skill? Lynch marks and misses from 50 out on a 45 angle.

Balta kicks a bomb into Lynch who marks beautifully for the fifth time and misses from 25 metres.

Mitch Hannan misses a shot that’s almost as easy which must make Lynch feel better.  Broad is playing very well again and clears the ball well from deep in the back line.  

Bruce marks strongly and goals and it’s 2.3 to 0.4.  Naughton marks with nobody near him and the Dogs have three and we don’t have any.  The Dogs’ handballs are lightning fast and for all our effort their rebounds are slick and damaging.  Our defence is starting to crack too and Grimes’ clearing kick goes straight to Bruce who fires it back quickly.  The moment is saved with good defending from Mansell or Collier-Dawkins, I can’t tell which, and a fairly blatant rushed behind from Grimes who gets away with it.

Lynch is having a terrible night.  Well, not quite as bad as against Melbourne where he seemed to go missing, but he can’t hit the side of large house with the footy.

But for all his woes he doesn’t give up.  He marks Bolton’s kick on the edge of the goal-square and after a series of elaborate hand-signals that would have been visible from low-Earth orbit he dishes off a handball rather than take the set shot.   Aarts receives it and is nearly taken down by two Doggie’s defenders.  But he still kicks the goal and all is not lost.

Lynch has taken seven marks and kicked three points.

Quarter-time score:  Richmond 1.4 to Bulldogs 3.6

At this time we begin watching In the Line of Duty and I feel good about the decision. Why inflict misery upon yourself?  We watch three episodes and by the time I switch back to the footy the song is being sung and the smiling captain is being interviewed.  Luckily, I have set the tape and I make it a late night by going back to the second quarter and watching through to the end.

Second Quarter

The quarter starts badly when Bailey Smith takes a brave mark from McIntosh’s hurried kick and goals from 50.  We are 20 points down.  Riewoldt takes a soaring mark 60 out and kicks in quickly to Lynch who can’t mark.  The Doggie’s clear it again.  Toby takes a strong pack mark, on the half-back flank, kicks it to Shedda who kicks to Bolton who goes on a little run, gets around an opponent and fires in a perfect pass to Aarts 25 out who misses.

We’re not playing badly though.  Balta takes a great intercept mark and we move the ball well upfield, Lynch kicks perfectly to Riewoldt whose kick is disappointing.  Bolton is grabbed without the footy and seconds later doesn’t quite hold the mark of the year.  There is quite a period of Tiger domination but no goals to show for it. Pickett has a good chance and misses.  The Dogs rebound in seconds and Naughton marks and goals and we’re 25 points down.

Rioli handpasses to Lynch who misses and we’re 1.7 to 5.7.  At least we’ve caught up on the behinds.

Lynch kicks another point.  With a minute and a half left we finally kick a goal. Cotch takes a brave mark going back with the flight, he passes to Graham who scoops it up, runs in and kicks to the square.  Bolton roves the crumb and bangs it through from two metres out and we can all breath again.  It’s 2.8 to 5.8 – our second goal in almost a half of footy.

With 20 seconds left Bontempelli wins a free for falling over and misses from 20 out.

Half-time score: Richmond 2.8 to Bulldogs 5.9

Third Quarter

Balta thwarts another Dog attack. He is having a very good game, as is Baker who seems to be in everything.   He goes for a beautiful run at half-forward and sends it to Riewoldt laces out who marks and goals from about 45.  This move began with Bolton who found Baker with precision and vision.

With about five minutes gone Treloar kicks high and not terribly long out of defence.  McIntosh marks with courage and gives it to Baker who takes his time and kicks long, low and straight to Lynch who marks right in front, five metres out.  Bakers’ poise and pass were perfect and Lynch goals at last and we’re right back in it.  Who ever doubted that we could be?  It’s 4.8 to 5.9.

Baker tackles Keath and brings him to earth but BT calls this as “Baker is run over by Keath.” In the words of Chris Rees, this man oozes misinformation.  The fact that Keath is clearly taller and heavier than Baker might also be worthy of comment.

Graham roves the subsequent ball-up, snaps and goals and we’re only a point behind.  The ball has scarcely been out of our forward line for five minutes.

Bolton kicks a point from long range and scores are level.  Baker is tackling everyone, the bigger they are the harder he tackles.  The Dogs go for 20 minutes without a possession forward of the centre.  Houli wins a lucky free for high contact and kicks it long to Lynch who marks 25 out.  He goes back and kicks it and we’re in front and Lynch’s kicking problems are behind him.  It’s all happened very quickly and there are still 11 minutes left in the quarter.

With six minutes left the inside-50s are 16 to zero for the quarter and we’re seven points up.  Shortly after that the Dogs get forward which is disappointing but was bound to happen.  Naughton marks and goals and we’re only a point in front.  

With three and a half left Lynch marks and goals from 45 out on a 45 angle and he’s got three for the quarter.

The Doggies attack and very nearly goal but some desperate, and, by the commentators, completely un-remarked defence, turns it into a point. The little things that these well-paid footy watchers miss is astounding.

The siren sounds as Collier-Dawkins is running towards the 50 with the ball in his hands.

Three-quarter-time score:  Richmond 7.10 to the Bulldogs 6.10

Final Quarter

For about five minutes there are a few points but no goals and the Tigers hold onto their one-goal lead.  The umpiring isn’t bad, but it does seem a bit lax.  You know this is true when you start saying out loud “That should have been a Bulldogs free kick for high contact”.  I find myself saying this quite a lot, but this is easier to say when the result is known.

After five and a half minutes Richmond find space on the wing, Ross sends a long bomb into the square, Baker pounces on the crumb and goals from five yards out and we’re two goals up.  The kick from Ross was a sixty-metre monster, sent in quickly and bound to trouble the defence.

Bontempelli marks on a tight angle after the ball seems to have gone out of bounds.  He passes to Shache who goals from right in front and we’re back to a one-goal lead with 12 minutes left.

With the ball on our half-forward flank the Dogs look set to break away after a chain of quick handballs until Baker lays a huge tackle on Lapinksi and throws him out of bounds.  Baker is one of the smallest players in the AFL, so unless he’s tackling Caleb Daniel, he’s always taking on someone bigger.  This impresses me but the Seven commentators are unmoved.

Lipinski has a chance to level the scores, runs in and hits the post.  Tigers by five points.

Richmond attack and Castagna passes to Houli who marks 45 out, takes a few breaths, walks in and goals from the 50 as the Dogs kindly had nobody on the goal-line.  The ball went over the pack and bounced across. Thank you Doggies.  It’s Houli’s first goal for two years.

There are seven minutes left and we’re 11 points up.

With five minutes left Bolton nearly pulls down mark of the year, again, this time with one hand.  From the boundary throw-in Lynch grabs the footy, handballs to Bolton who dances through traffic and goals and we’re 17 points up.

The dogs have a chance to pull one back when Naughton marks on a strong lead but from 40 out he wins Worst Kick of the Past Ten Years Award and the Tigers clear the footy.

Cotch goes off and puts the trackie top on and Naish gets a run for the last few minutes.  Going by their thick, dark hair this is what’s known as a “like-for-like” substitution.  It’s a good sub too.  Naish chases Hunter who has taken two bounces and is then tackled just as he gets a handball away.  The tackle means the ball doesn’t go where it’s meant to and Richmond win the footy back.  It goes to Naish who passes to Bolton who marks directly in front.

Naish is hugged by his team-mates for his never-give-up effort.  Bolton goals and the game is over, we’re 22 points up with 90 seconds left.

Final Score: Richmond 11.11.77 to the Bulldogs 7.13.55

It’s been a huge second half.  Our best players have been, well, the whole team really.  But the standouts for me are Bolton, Balta, Broad and Baker, mainly for alliterative purposes.  Also really good are Cotchin, Houli, Grimes, Graham, Astbury, Ross…it really was the whole team who lifted.  As usual I forgot Toby.  He was magnificent.  And the fact that it is always very hard to pick our best few players is something I love dearly about our Tigers.

Anzac Eve, 24 April 2021

I haven’t been to the footy since we flogged the Giants in the Grand Final in 2019.  Mum was still alive then and we chatted on the phone in the long hours before the first bounce and she left me a voicemail at the end of the game saying she thought we’d played pretty well.  She didn’t have her own team but liked her children’s teams to win.  I still have that voicemail on my phone.

The build-up is good, the minute’s silence, the Last Post.  The silence in particular is really good, we need more moments like that.  As the solemnities end and the loud, crappy music fills the void I realise that I’ve forgotten to set the tape.  So my notes will have to be good.

The loud music reminds me of something that I felt a lot of last year – relief.  I didn’t have to think about going or not going to the footy.  I didn’t have to endure this crap at the game I love.  Still, there was a downside to the global pandemic and I mustn’t forget that.

The game starts well for us.  Melbourne’s first attack goes out on the full.  Richmond rebound and Shedda kicks a point.  Petracca tackles Dusty and pushes him out of bounds and wins a free.  Then we get another point before Riewoldt soccers a brilliant goal. Toby wins a free for deliberate out of bounds and his kick manages to hit both goal posts but only one behind is registered.  This seems unfair, although no doubt within the letter of the rules.

Riewoldt gets another and we’re looking all right.  Cotchin sets up Graham for a likely goal but his kick falls short.  Salem gets a point for the Dees, then they get another one and then a goal which is followed by an embarrassing light show, the whole stadium bathed in red and blue.  Wow, I’m so impressed.  This would make me come to the footy again.  I feel in my bones that at the next RFC home game I go to I’ll have to suffer through the same thing, but worse, as it will be our club shaming itself in lights.

Shedda, who is playing well, bravely marks a clearing kick and goals from 30 out.  But Melbourne are looking better and their Pickett kicks well to Fritsch who marks and goals.  The light show again makes me long for lock-down.  The quarter ends and the spruiker reminds us that we’re at the footy, tells us which teams are playing and what the score is.  I’m so grateful to him.  Contested possessions are 39 each.

Quarter time score:  Melbourne 2.2 to Richmond 3.3

Although we’ve paid $45 each to sit in the top deck of the Olympic Stands – not bad seats at all, really, but 20 rows from the front – the bays either side of the Richmond Cheer Squad at the City End are almost empty.  I do not understand the AFL at all.

The scoreboard tells me that Short has had 8 touches and I’ve barely noticed him.  That says more about me than him.  But it’s a big ground with a big cast and it’s easy to miss things.

There is light rain at the break and we’re glad we’re under cover.  The game restarts and Lambert misses with a set shot.  Bolton seems to be very busy and our Pickett misses from 48.  We are attacking a lot but can’t kick a goal. Short concedes a deliberate out-of-bounds from a good way out and Neale-Bullen kicks a very good goal.  The quarter is half-gone and we lead by a point.  Tom McDonald takes a strong mark and goals from 45 out on a tight angle and the Dees are in front.

Shedda misses from 40 after taking a mark and McDonald kicks another and the Dees are up by 11.  They are using the ball better than us and their attacking moves are holding together while ours come unstuck.  The Dees get another, making it five in a row and they lead by 17. Dusty has been very quiet and so are our supporters.

Half-time score:  Melbourne 6.6.42 to Richmond 3.7.25

Early in the third Melbourne attack and an outnumbered Pickett almost pulls off a miraculous spoil.  But he doesn’t and we’re 23 down.  And then five goals down and I’m comparing us to Adelaide in the third quarter in the 2017 Grand Final.  We just don’t know what to do.  Nothing we try to do seems to work and Melbourne have the ball on a string.

After 14 minutes Shedda kicks our first goal in about an hour of footy.  Our last five minutes have been good.  Our pressure has lifted and we could still do this. But we need another one or two before the last break.

Melbourne attack again. Pickett is again outnumbered and again nearly manages to pull off a great spoil but he gets Neal-Bullen high who goals from close range and we’re five goals down again.  We respond well with one of our best moves of the night.  Graham kicks into the 50, Toby handpasses to Aarts who goals.

But the Dees have all the answers and Tom McDonald marks almost on the goal line and it’s 30 points once more.  They’ve matched our pressure and are killing us in execution.  Well, of course they are.

Broad, who is playing well, kicks into the 50 and Shai takes a great mark and kicks a point from 30 out.  It’s not our night.

Three-quarter time score:  Melbourne 10.8 to Richmond 5.8

I don’t think we can win from here but we could at least make it hard for them.  My great wish is that the Dees don’t just walk away with it.

My wish is granted, more or less.  We lose by 34 points, meaning the last quarter was close, at least.  We kick 1.4 to 2.2 for the quarter.  Petracca seals the win in the first minute putting us six goals down. People are talking about him being the next Dusty and tonight he is.  Our Dusty has not been seen since the main break and we have to assume he is injured. But the scoreboard and our phones tell us nothing.

Aarts takes a good mark from Cotchin’s kick but misses from 25 metres.  Broad and Baker continue to play well.  Lynch kicks out on the full.  He’s had a bad night, but he’s not alone.  I’m beginning to worry that we’ll lose by a lot.  Their Pickett kicks a point and we rebound and Lynch kicks a point.  Finally Shai gets one after Lynch passes to him.  We’re down 29 points and 13 minutes have gone.  In the wet that is a mountain to climb.

Bolton takes another mark and kicks a point from 25 out on a tight angle.  As seems to happen when we lose to Melbourne on Anzac Eve, there is an altercation on the Melbourne forward line which leads to a down-field free to their Pickett who goals from 25 out.  The Dees supporters go nuts and there’s a second free, of course, before the ball is bounced.  Luckily Oliver misses this one from 30 out.

I just want us to kick one goal so that we win the quarter but we don’t get it.  Bolton has a chance but misses the lot.  At last the siren goes and we’ve only lost by 34 points.  And it’s only Melbourne, which doesn’t hurt half so much as losing to Collingwood and it’s only April, it’s not like a prelim final.

Final score:  Melbourne 12.10.82 to Richmond 6.12.48

Still, it hurts.  We’re mortal after all.  Dusty had been written up in The Age this very morning for his indestructability.  He’s barely been injured in a dozen seasons.  But he’s injured now all right.

Not time to panic though.  We lost to Geelong by 12 goals in the middle of 2019 and looked like a non-finals team.

Best players for us had names starting with B – Baker, Broad, Bolton. Also Short might have played well but I kept not noticing him.  Toby played well too, although from our high seats I may have mixed him up sometimes with Balta.  Between them they played all right. Shedda too, he kept us in it for a good while.

Easy game against the Dogs this Friday night.

On Sunday night I drop my phone in the water while doing the dishes and listening to a podcast about the AIDS Angel of Arkansas.

Thursday June 11 2020

It had taken me very little time to accept that there would be no footy in 2020.  In the teeth of a global pandemic that would cause our health system to collapse, losing a season of footy seemed a small thing.  And once crowds were out, well footy was out.  I’ve long argued the point that our game, at the top level, is not about the great mark or the long kick. It’s about the crowd.  Take out the crowd and you might have a pretty spectacle but you won’t have any drama.

Consequently, I was a non-believer in round 1.  Just declare the season over, I said, and give the flag to us.  Everyone knew we were going to win again.  It follows from this that I have watched with some dread and misgiving as the AFL pushed and shoved and prodded and poked until its 2020 season came back to life.

Anyway, back to life it came and back to the ‘G go our boys and the Pies.  One good thing about there being no crowd – there is no agonising on this cold Thursday night about going or not going – the couch or the outer?  That decision was made for us.  So, onto the couch we go.

Before the match all the players take a knee in solidarity with their brothers and sisters of colour and the injustices meted out to them by police and others.  It’s a moving sight and I’m proud of all of them.

In no time though I’m nostalgic for the early days of the pandemic, when tens of thousands of lives were at stake and our civilisation faced possible ruin.  At least we didn’t have football to endure.  And how I have not missed that sick feeling of dread as the Pies take control of the game and our boys look like they don’t know what they’re doing.

The big trouble with Collingwood is that they have an awful lot of very good players.  If truth be told, more skilful players than us.  Grundy, who is forever monstrous for that last-second goal that sank us in round 2 2016 – and which foretold our season quite accurately – is bigger and better than ever.  De Goey is simply terrifying – he’s like Dusty but can take a high mark and possibly kick the ball further.  Luckily, he seems to lack Dusty’s consistency.

Anyway, the Pies get the first goal and the second and then a third.  After 20 minutes I leave the couch and I miss Collingwood’s fourth.  My family are having a GoTo meeting in the wake of my Mum breaking her wrist.  This is a very pleasant diversion.  Mum appears cheerful and is now out of hospital and my brother is with her in Wodonga.  After half an hour or so I get back to the couch and things have improved slightly.  Tom Lynch has kicked three in a quarter but we’re still 14 points down at half time.

Half time score:  Collingwood 5.3.33 to Richmond 3.1.19

The second half is easier to watch than the first quarter but that’s not saying a lot.  We edge closer with a goal and then just before the last break Higgins marks a missed shot for goal.  Everyone assumes it has gone through for a point before he’s marked it but there’s a score review and the result is “no score”, a mark instead to young Jack.  Of course, he goes back and bananas it through for a goal and we’re only two points down.

The last quarter is very old fashioned – like, 1858-old fashioned.  We kick four points and Collingwood kick two.  I actually enjoy it as it’s pretty exciting and the fake crowd noise is amusing.  Then we level the scores right near the end and I think we could sneak another and win it but instead Collingwood bring the ball down-field with much of their usual skill and I cry out, “We’ll take the draw!  We’ll take the draw!”  The ball goes out for a throw-in deep in their forward line with a handful – a Grundy handful you could say – of seconds left.  But the Tigers manage to smother it again and the siren goes and it’s all over and we’ve taken two points off our dreaded enemies.

Wayne Carey says “Nobody likes draws” and I say, “No, nobody likes you Wayne.”  Honestly.  Not one player or coach or club official is heard to say “I’d rather they’d beaten us, I’d feel so much better.”  No, and no supporters say that either.  How could you?  I’d rather die of thirst than have half a glass?  Nobody says that.

But everyone agrees it has been a very strange night.  Footy might be back but it’s a zombie version that we recognise, but barely.  I note with interest that there is no music blaring during the post-match interviews, nor at the breaks.  This proves my long-argued point – the music blares out to drown out the crowd.  If there’s no crowd, there’s no need for the music.

Jack Higgins might not be our best player on the night but he’s the best story.  He says after the game that he came close to very serious brain damage after his two operations.  To be playing footy again is a miracle and something to celebrate.

Full time score:  Collingwood 5.6.36 to Richmond 5.6.36

Editor’s note: There was no round 1 match report or Benny votes because I think all of us at TTBB didn’t feel the season should go ahead, and it was a terribly flat game in the end. But here we are now, footy is happening, and at some point we will duck back and assign some votes to Round 1 as well.

Benny Votes

Higgins 5, Soldo 4, Cotchin 3, Houli 2, Lynch 1

Blair Hartley Appreciation Award: for players who have joined Richmond from another club
(Eligible 2020: Caddy, Grigg, Houli, Lynch, Nankervis and Prestia)

Houli 2, Lynch 1

Anthony Banik Best First Year Player:for anyone who was yet to debut before round 1
(Eligible 2020: Collier-Dawkins, Dow, Turner, English, Martyn, Cumberland, Aarts, Ralphsmith, Nyuon, Miller)
No votes yet

Joel Bowden’s Golden Left Boot:for left footers
(Eligible 2020: Chol, Nankervis and Houli)

Houli 2

Greg Tivendale Rookie List Medal:
upgraded from the rookie list during the current season

(Eligible 2020: Aarts, Baker, Chol, Eggmolesse-Smith, Stack and Pickett)
No votes yet

Maurice Rioli Grip of Death Trophy:
For the Tiges top tackler in 2020

Soldo 12
Prestia 10
Pickett 9
Martin, Bolton 8

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People keep asking me if I’m nervous about the footy but I’m not until late on Saturday afternoon. We’re a different team and a different club to the one that ventured to the Gabba in 2001 and got shredded by the Lions or the one whose heroic winning streak hit a brick against Port in Adelaide in 2014. But the fact is, we’ve never won an interstate final.

Also, at least twice that I know of, we’ve played in the first week of the finals the team we had just beaten in the last home and away round. And we lost both of them. This was to the Bombers in 2001 and North in 2015. The simple fact is that both teams tanked those home and away games. Essendon with some subtlety in 2001 and North without shame in 2015.
Yes, things are different now. But still…

I spend two hours cooking an excellent dinner which I hope we can enjoy like civilised people at the table before the footy. But in fact, it’s not ready until bang on 7.25 so we eat on the couch. Roasted veg, pork and fennel sausages, flathead fillets and, for my Richmond-barracking daughter, a simple potato and cauli fritter that I whipped up right at the end. My plate is piled with food but the nerves have kicked in and I’ve never felt less hungry in my life.

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I’m glad that we kick the first two goals because, despite the many Tiger fans at the ground, this sounds like a real interstate final with a hostile crowd. They seem to boo everything any of our players do. And I’m worried about the weather too. My phone told me it was 27 degrees before the game started and this will surely make it hard for our boys to run the game out.

Riewoldt kicks the first from the 50 after winning a holding-the-ball free. It’s true that his opponent had almost no prior opportunity but nobody does these days and the commentators make more of this than I want. Speaking of the commentators, they include Darcy whom I can’t abide. In the opening minutes he makes a reference to Grimes’ reputation “…around the industry…” The industry! Why do we let Marketing Departments tell us how to speak?

Shedda makes a great snap for goal number two and maybe this will be our night? Maybe we’ll crush the Lions early and silence the crowd and hold them at arms-length for the rest of the game?

It’s not to be though. Brisbane attack and attack again and we can’t seem to break clear. They have five points on the board in no time and we’re very lucky that they can’t kick straight. Then they have their first goal and the crowd goes off and then their second and they’re in front and then two more before the first break and we’re on the ropes.

Quarter time score: Brisbane 4.6.30 to Richmond 3.0.18

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The second term begins well when Caddy takes the ball from the middle and finds Cotch who out-marks Hodge in the pocket. But our captain misses from an angle and we have our first point of the night. Maybe things aren’t going to go our way? Riewoldt makes a great attempt at a high mark and the ball spills loose and one of our brilliant crumbers will surely kick a goal. But no, a free kick is awarded against Riewoldt for in-the-back which is simply ridiculous.

Lynch takes what I count as his third mark from a clearing kick but then he kicks it backwards and we turn the ball over. Someone needs to tell our players that the Wallace and Frawley kick-it-backwards-at-all-times era is over. We’re Richmond and we kick it forward!

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Saturday 8 September 2019 7.25pm
Shai Bolton flies and holds the mark. It’s an absolute ripper but his kick is even better. It finds Lynch 15 from goal who goes back and kicks it. Suddenly we look a much better team and we’re only three points down.

Rainer is playing well for Brisbane and takes a great mark. Grimes and Cameron are having a good tussle and when Cameron helps Grimes to his feet I realise why my daughter loves Charlie so much.

Richmond attack again but Brisbane win it back and move the ball very easily into the 50 where Rayner marks but misses from 45 out. This is a big let-off for us. Darcy annoys me again by saying the Tigers are having “the rub of the green.” Maybe a bit of luck with the umpires, but Riewoldt would disagree.

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We are lucky though with Brisbane’s kicking for goals which is terrible. Cameron gets free and snaps and misses. Hodge is doing well in defence, even though the Chanel Seven commentators say so. The Lions attack well again but Grimes takes a mark on the last line of defence and wins a 50 as well. The ball gets to Caddy who bombs it long into the 50, Lynch flies but doesn’t mark, Rioli gathers and goals and we’re two points up with seven minutes left in the quarter. The Lions have outplayed us everywhere but can’t kick straight while we don’t seem able to miss.

Rayner misses an easy one to emphasise this. Graham makes a huge tackle in the middle and wins a free but the Lions rebound again. With four minutes left McStay out-marks Vlaustin. Tigger and Houli, too, are not having their usual great games. But the luck is with us as McStay misses from right in front. The Tigers rebound quickly, Dusty is one-out in the forward line, marks and goals. We have just done to Brisbane what teams used to do to us several times a game, every game, from about 1983 to 2016.
McInerney wins a free for falling over but misses from close range. We rebound again, Dusty wins the footy, finds Bolton with a handpass and Bolton steams in with nobody near him and kicks a goal. It’s half-time and after being outplayed for most of the first term and a fair bit of the second, we’re 11 points up.

Half-time score: Brisbane 4.10.34 to Richmond 7.3.45

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The third term starts very well for us. Presty and Shedda combine to get the ball to Martin who wins a free for a clear hold and kicks a goal from close range. Then Shedda wins the ball again, kicks it to Rioli who ought to play on and goal but instead kicks it to Bolton who is out-marked. This is a mistake our forwards make too often – dishing off the footy instead of taking responsibility and kicking the goal themselves. Sometimes that “team-first” rubbish can really hurt you. But I’m being very picky, we’re three goals up in the third term in an interstate final and I just need something to worry about.

Shedda is having a huge game. The quarter isn’t half over and he’s had 14 contested possessions. With Martin in the forward line he’s running the midfield like he owns it. We attack again and this time Rioli hogs the footy, as he should, while Botlon keeps the Brisbane defender away from him. Young Dan bounces and almost loses the footy, but gets it back, has another bounce and goals from close range and we’re four goals up and this is starting to feel very good.

Not long after this Rioli snaps again but misses. Then Riewoldt taps a boundary throw-in to Dusty who runs in and goals again. It’s his fourth and he’s unstoppable and Richmond are five goals in front.

Bolton picks up the footy and kicks it out on the full, proving that not everything we do is perfect, but at least not adding to our measly total of behinds. The commentator, Mark Soderstrom, is still calling him “Shy” Bolton, although it is fairly well-known that his name is pronounced “Shay,” as in Guevara. My daughter points out, “It’s his frickin’ job to know how to say players’ names!”

Things really are going our way. Hodge, who is having a very good game, kicks out-on-the-full and Lynch marks the resulting free without too much trouble and kicks the goal. We’re six goals up and have kicked eight in a row. The Lions last goal was in the first quarter but they’ve added a bundle of behinds since then.

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Shedda takes a massive, very brave mark, running back and leaping with the flight of the footy. He gets it to Caddy who kicks a goal from the 50 and we’re 41 points up. My other daughter and my partner dish up a pear and blueberry galette with ice-cream and we are living the life.

McCluggage, whose name I can’t quite believe, gets one for the Lions and then Shedda takes another great mark. We break-away down the field, Caddy runs along the wing, gets it to Bolton who finds Castagna who snaps and goals from 40 out. Then Dusty gets his fifth and we’re 46 points up and I’m starting to believe that we’ll probably win and daring to admit that I’m actually enjoying this.

Vlaustin helps Cameron to his feet after a contest and I’ve always loved Tigger. This gentlemanly conduct might have to stop as Christensen gets Brisbane’s second goal of the quarter just before the siren and we’re 38 points up at the last break.

From memory, this is what we trailed the Lions by at half-time in the prelim in 2001.

Three-quarter time score: Brisbane 6.14.50 to Richmond 14.4.88

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My partner, bless her, has come up with a great nick-name for Grimes – The Cleaner. D-Grimes = The Cleaner. Which describes his game completely, he just cleans up.

Brisbane start the last term as they have played all night. McCarthy out-marks Baker but misses from 20 out with not much angle and they now have 6.15 for their night’s work. Rioli goes down and looks to have a problem with his ankle, then he’s off the ground and the doctor is taking a look.

Caddy gives away a 50 for some reason on our forward 50 and McCluggage marks in the Brisbane forward line and misses. Rioli’s ankle is being bandaged, there’s 13 left in the term and we’re six goals up. I’m not relaxed about the result. If Brisbane ever work out that they should kick between the big sticks they could have six goals in no time. I want us to kick two more to finish them off. Then Riewoldt kicks one and I feel safe. It should never have been a goal – Dusty blatantly threw it to him, scooping the ball off the ground, but he got away with it.

Maybe we have been lucky tonight.

Lachie Neale, who has been good, if not quite as busy as last week, gets a goal for the Lions but the match seems to be over. The crowd is 37,478, which is a record footy crowd for the Gabba. Brisbane kick another point and Richmond are up by 35 with 10 minutes left. Brisbane attack but Shedda takes yet another great mark in defence and sends us into attack. Dusty gathers the ball on the 50 and kicks his sixth goal and I think we might be home.

Then we win a free and a 50 in the forward line and Riewoldt kicks another and we’re 47 points up, the same as Soldo’s number. Our supporters are singing “Tigerland” and all is right with the world. Rioli is back on and makes a great tackle. We’re 47 points up, there’s seven minutes left and he’s still throwing himself into it.

Martin wins a free on the 50, the ball gets to Caddy who makes room for himself and goals and we’re 53 points up. Christensen gets one back for the Lions and only then do I realise that the Lions too have been afflicted with the electronic roar, may our respective Marketing Departments burn in hell.

The siren sounds and we’ve kicked 18.4, the second-most accurate kicking of any team in any final and the most accurate score I can remember the Tigers kicking ever. In the second half we’ve kicked 11.1 to 4.7. Our players look happy and there seems to be lots of good will between our players and theirs. I could be wrong though, victory does give one a particular view of things.

Final Score: Brisbane 8.17.65 to Richmond 18.4.112
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We’re allowed one rendition of Tigerland before a truly awful ad booms out over the ground’s PA. If I didn’t have such a malign view of marketing departments, I would swear that fascist aliens had taken over and were issuing instructions. Then a very loud ground announcer is heard and what a relief it is not to have the ends of games ruined by the singing and cheering of supporters. I can’t imagine anything worse than that.
Shedda is interviewed and is predictably modest, saying his team-mates did all the hard work on the inside to get the ball to him. This is quite a thing to say after you’ve won 18 contested footies.

It’s a great night for the Tigers. Remember that awful night in round two, our first game without Rance, when Collingwood pulled us apart? Or two weeks before the bye when Geelong humiliated us at the ‘G? (They didn’t complain about playing at the ‘G that night). Or that awful run of injuries to our best players? And now we’re in a prelim, against Geelong or West Coast, with two weeks to prepare for it.

But to keep things in perspective, we’ve been lucky. Brisbane kicked their way out of this one and had three more scoring shots than us. Especially in the first and second quarters, had they kicked straight we would have been in all sorts. And had we not kicked straight at our end, who knows?

Shedda has been magnificent, the best game I’ve seen him play and he’s played some beauties. Presty has been great in the middle too. Dusty has been quite handy in our forward line and six goals is not to be sneezed at. Soldo has been great in the ruck and, it may be blasphemous to say so, but he’s playing better than Toby. Quite often he puts the ball down the throat of his team-mates. And our defenders, despite the massive pressure they were under early in the game, have stood up. Grimes has been outstanding and Astbury has been good too. Baker and Short have been good. Houli and Vlaustin have not played their usual games but have battled away to the end.
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Benny Votes

Edwards 5, Prestia 4, Martin 3, Soldo 2, Grimes 1

Leaderboard

Martin 50
Houli 45
Vlastuin 37
Grimes 31
Edwards, Lynch 28
Prestia 23
Stack 18
Lambert 17
Ellis 13
Cotchin, Bolton 7
Castagna, Soldo 6
Nankervis, Graham 5
Baker, Broad 4
Chol 3
Astbury, Ross, Naish 2
Rioli, Balta 1