The clapper got a good work out in the first half of the game!

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A FIRST-HALF BLITZ AT DORKLANDS

They do try to create a sense of occasion, those folk at the Dorklands stadium, but, really, it’s a hopeless task. This barn has all the atmosphere of a 24-hour chemist shop, complete with flat lighting and garish advertising, including, strangely enough, many a chemist shop commercial blaring from those large screens. (I’m sure I’m not the only person hankering nostalgically of that bygone era when the scoreboard was a big black box, inhabited by blokes in dustcoats opening and closing little hatches to arrange white painted numbers on bits of tin. Instead, we now have these monster televisions WITH THE SOUND ALWAYS TURNED UP TO ELEVEN.)

Anyway, after a whole lot of rigmarole with some poor bloke singing a song and playing his guitar alone in the middle of the paddock, and then some more guff where we were all encouraged to wave our mobile phones around in the dark, a football game eventually got underway. And it started well too, with one of the umpires being immediately bowled over in spectacular fashion by a stampede of leather hunters. I reckon that if you’re kitted out in a pea-green shirt and lime-green socks then, really, you’re asking for it. We all roared our appreciation of the moment.
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Way up on the top deck, where they send general admission ticket holders at the Dorklands, I was surrounded by Saints fans bitching and lamenting in much the same manner as us Tiger supporters were obliged to do for so many years in the not-too-distant past. Watching St.Kilda players commit error after error, I did feel the occasional sympathetic twinge. As we know only too well, a footy season can feel like a Siberian odyssey when it’s still only mid-July and your team is playing that badly.
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The advantage of the top deck vista is of course the ability to admire the spatial dynamics of the game. You can see how a good team can open the game up with a sharp diagonal kick that moves the ball forward but also creates space for teammates to run into. From this perspective, it’s easy to see one of the reasons that Dustin Martin is such a great player, regularly slicing the game open with sharp kicks across his body. Given that he’s working at ground level, without the perspective that I’m enjoying from the top deck, it’s amazing how he manages to do this so consistently. It’s a wondrous thing to behold. The other thing evident from high up is the remarkable endurance running of linking players like Prestia, Edwards and Lambert. They’re up and down, and across and back all evening, and the momentum maintained by Prestia especially in this match was fantastic.

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Meanwhile, I’m feeling sympathy for Jason Castagna who, attempting to redeem himself after last week’s horror show in front of the goals, came no closer to getting one to sail between the big sticks this time around. So much of this difficult and demanding game plays out above the shoulders, with the difference between a champ and a chump being a matter of confidence and belief. On the up side, I was happy to see Cotch, Higgins and Grigg bring up the two flags, given their failure to do so in recent times. I’m sure Castangna’s personal drought will break before too long.

This game was largely done by half time. The Tigers were magnificent in the first two quarters, managing to score with great efficiency. Given our tendency to waste so many opportunities in the forward zone of recent weeks, this was great to see. By contrast, much of the second half of the game was a far less exciting affair. The ball zinged up and down the ground, but both teams turned it over regularly and highlights were harder to find. Many of us were hankering for the mercy rule in the final stanza, by which time all fizz had gone out of the contest. Junk time seemed to extend for at least twenty minutes and, at Dorklands, that somehow feels like an eternity.

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Benny votes:

5. Dion Prestia
Incredible running, coupled with an ability to trap the hard ball and then get it out into space. One of those players whose best work is so quick that it’s sometimes easy to miss. Kicked three goals too, as well as another one that didn’t count ‘cause of an annoying call from one of those pesky boundary umpires in the ridiculous green outfits.

4. Dustin Martin
Dusty was back to his tackle-busting, scythe-kicking best. Made a few errors, but these were more than off-set by several moments of sheer football genius.

3. Jayden Short
Provided terrific run all night long, and executed many a beautiful, raking drop punt. Always seemed to pop up as one of the links in our most spectacular passages of play. (No goals this week but is he a back man after all, so we really can’t expect him to kick ‘em every week.)

2. Toby Nankervis
Fantastic mobility around the ground, ceaseless endeavour and quite a few surprising moments where he exhibited the agility of a man half his size.

1. Jack Riewoldt
Amazing athleticism and selfless team play, punctuated by four sausage rolls off his own boot.
Notable mentions to the rest of the backline (Grimes, Rance, Astbury, Vlaustin and Broad), all of whom performed glorious and courageous acts.

Leaderboard

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Winning makes me nervous.

This is of course, a new discovery, given that Richmond hasn’t really been a Winning Team before in my lifetime. The nerves have always been there, though prior to this season that were linked with the fear of what would come after the final siren. What calamity would befall us? Which team would scorch us with a six-goal run, or come from behind in the dying stages to deal that final blow? What would that one Hawthorn fan say on Monday morning? (or on facebook straight after the game)

The thought of this game was making me nervous, and that may have influenced my go-to statement on Saturday morning at the shop.
“I don’t really want to finish on top of the ladder, it’s a bit of a curse. I won’t be too upset if we drop this one.”

Spoiler alert, I was quite upset.

Q1
For the first few minutes it’s the Toby Greene Show, despite the fact he starts on the bench. Apparently he will ‘take some time to find his feet’ when he does come on, and that’s fine as long as he doesn’t find his foot in the face of one of our players.

When he does come on, the crowd roars, which is not something I thought I’d say about a GWS crowd. They can also be heard as the Giants kick the first two goals, apparently, we’ll be taking some time to find our feet too.

I am struck by Shane Edwards’ beard. It is a very good beard.

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Our first goal is a Rioli goal, following great pressure from George (Oh, George) and Snags. Soon after, Cotch misses a shot that Luke Darcy tells us he’d normally kick, and I love my captain but nah, not really.
Q1 is patchy, and while we start getting more of the ball, we’re struggling to do much with it. Rioli goals again and you feel it might be ok.

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Q2
I begin face-timing with my 2yo niece, and intend to come back and rewatch the quarter, and by the end of the match I want to forget this game exists, so I never get back there, and the rest of this couch report is cliffnotes.

Also, 17 tackles to half time is rubbish, and we are clearly missing the tackling pressure of Graham and Conca.

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Q3
Both teams struggle with inaccuracy in front of goal, and the only highlight of this term is that Astbury plays well in his 100th game. I’ve been very emotional about Swoop’s 100th, particularly seeing Lids post a congratulatory Instagram story. It can never be said enough how determined, brave and dedicated Dave Astbury has been throughout his time at Richmond. He has worked so hard to build his game to this high standard, and has become a true leader of our team, while facing cruel injury setbacks and the wrath of a stingray. DAAS forever.

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Q4
I am optimistic about the 4th quarter, believing a strong start and better ball use would put us in good stead. Another goal to Daniel and things look promising, but it’s never quite our night, and things just don’t go our way.

Young players have chances, and our leaders go their hardest, but it’s just not meant to be. Poor George has a rough night in front of goal, kicking 5 behinds. I have no doubt that the boys will get around him, focusing on all the things he does to get those scoring opportunities, because that’s the Richmond way, and that he’ll have a blinder soon. For now I hope someone gives him a hug and some ice-cream.

The nerves return in the dying stages, as it looks as though we might flip the script on 2017 – sneaking in for a victory at the very last moment, but the siren sounds and there is no miracle, just that strange sound from the west of the town.

The rational part of me thinks that this could be good, the loss we needed to have to keep us grounded. The emotional part of me watches Toby Greene do a post-match interview with a water bottle stuffed down the front his pants and wants to throw something at the television.

I’d like to go back to winning now, nerves and all.

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Votes
Votes are hard and our team is very even.
5. Prestia – Love his work, love how he uses the low centre of gravity to his advantage.
4. Rioli – We are so lucky to have him. He is a delight to watch.
3. Grimes – Does what needs to be done.
2. Dusty – Getting back his dominance.
1. Lambert – Great player, so, so glad to have him.

Leaderboard

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I missed the first 10 minutes of our match against the Swans and when I sat down to watch the tele, we were already down by 12 points and hadn’t troubled the scorers. I did sit down in time to see Cotch miss an easy set-shot from 25 out…nnhhh…and to see poor Reece Conca go down with a very nasty ankle injury – the vision of which caused a great deal of distress to my 10-y.o. son, William, who is a very empathetic little soul.
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Jack took one of his many great grabs then turned it over with a dud kick, Tormund Giantsbane got a 50 (I have no idea why) and banged one home from 55. Titch was mercurial, Dusty unsighted and our skipper missed most of the second half of the quarter off with an ankle issue. We bombed the ball inside our 50 without any great direction and it was Turnover City™ from our boys. Jack managed a great one-armed mark 1v1 on Aliir, offloaded to Short and BANG! from 50. Since I had entered the loungeroom we had outscored Sydney 37 to 7 – so I walked out and back in again for the start of the second quarter.

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Nank started our second quarter well by winning a free via a crunching tackle on Kennedy. This was cancelled by a lazy effort from Dusty – my notes say ‘Dusty giving us donuts’ – not good. Sydney kick two quick ones and its Tiges 37 – Swans 31. I’m beginning to wonder if our intense method of play is taking a toll on our players as our opponents look much sharper. We’re in yellow and black, the Swans in red and white – why aren’t the umpires in blue instead of their almost-yellow lime-green? This is one of my pet hates – maggots running around in colours similar to the players. Unnecessary and completely avoidable. Nank is, in the meantime, running Sinclair ragged while Broad takes a very gutsy defensive mark – sitting in the hole just waiting to get smashed. Short to Riewoldt, Buddy shows zero interest in chasing, Jack shanks the resulting shot out on the full. We are pummelling Sydney but getting no scoreboard reward. Next up is the highlight of the match – Vlastuin takes an absolute hanger, sitting on Buddy’s head. Vlastuinulenko, you beauty! One less rotation may be a problem as the game progresses.

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Half-time score Tiges 7.2.41 – Swans 5.1.31

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The third quarter starts with an awful Dusty turnover – he is a shadow of 2017 Dusty. Ray Chamberlain checks his watch, realises he hasn’t given a 50 for a few minutes and hands one to the Swans. 44-37. Jack takes yet another mark and goals from 55. Lambert follows up almost immediately. 56-37. Finally getting ‘reward for effort’™ now. Tormund elbows Parker in the melon and blind Freddy knows he will miss the Crows game. What a dill. Parker converts. 56-43. Short goals. 63-43, then Parker goals again 64-49 (Swans have kicked 8.1). Jack, marking like Richo in his prime, bombs another from 55! 71-49. The physical intensity is brutal as the Swans realise the game may be slipping away from them – this is not the soccer world cup (Neymar, having received several ladders in his socks, has spent 14 minutes – as timed by the NY Times – rolling around on the ground thus far in WC2018). Jack takes mark #13! Hayward marks in front of Prestia, who looks like he is completely lost trying to defend inside 50. 71-55. Now my blood is about to boil – Franklin gets yet another soft free-kick. 71-61.

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Q4. Kennedy to Franklin. 71-67 (11.1!) Cotch misses another easy shot – this really is his Achilles heel. Caddy misses OOB. We are camped inside our attacking 50 but can’t score. Lambert kicks a dribbler that runs 40 metres, straight through the hi-diddle-diddle! 78-67. Jack – mark #15! Titch – goal! 84-67 Cotch – you guessed it – miss. Jack mark #16! Skipper intercept, off to Lambert, GOAAALLLL!!!!! It’s all over.

Final score Tiges 14.9.93 def. Swans 11.1.67

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Some dot points…

• Our skipper is brilliant, but his inability to score when the opportunities arise may hurt us at some stage when things get tight.
• Dusty is going at half-rat-power. If he gets it together we will be untouchable.
• After Franklin’s early goal, we kept Sydney scoreless in the last quarter – very satisfying.
• I love Tormund, but elbowing Parker was just plain stupid.
• Jack Higgins’ joke and the team’s reaction, just before the start of the third quarter, was very refreshing and tells me we are in a very good place.
• Our response, after Conca’s injury, was brilliant and indicative of a Premiership team.
• Jack played the best game of his life. He was superb.

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Benny votes
5 – Jack Riewoldt – if I could give him more, I would
4 – Kane Lambert – he is now an A-grader, in my view
3 – Titch – a yellow ’n’ black Silk
2 – Vlastuin – Tormund was on track for 4 or 5 votes before his elbow – silly boy
1 – Cotch – wayward kicking aside, he was excellent

Leaderboard

A Cold Winter’s (Richmondy) Tale

Getty Images Sport | Quinn Rooney

Looking for a 16th successive victory at the home of football and there was a sense during this game that it wasn’t unlike that glorious month of September 2017 when the Tigers took all before them.

There were passages of play reminiscent of that September too, none more so than where we pushed and prodded and kicked off the ground a ball from the half back flank to deep in our forward line. The end result a Rioli goal as a consequence of another tackle – his 8th for the day and a reminder of what he brings to our team. The 3 amigos were reunited and it showed as Butler, Castagna and Rioli were busy all day and combined for 5 goals. In a low scoring contest this was crucial to our chances of victory.

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More reminders from Sept ’17: A forward line that is undersized in height and oversized in effort, lead so well by Jack R. A defence, including debutant Garthwaite, that combine so effectively, and a midfield that is as good as any going around collectively. This is the essence of team.

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We lost most of the key statistics except the one that really matters, the scoreboard. Smashed out of the centre, smashed on inside 50 count, and also in clearances but at the end of the day we were that better team, prepared and able to meet all challenges and challengers.

Individually, Selwood is a good player (despite getting soft free kicks continually), Ablett is a proven star as is Dangerfield, but our six midfielders were better. No real need for comparing us to Geelong stars after a win like that, just take the result and move on to the next challenge.

Did I say it was freezing at the ‘G?

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Getty Images | Sport Adam Trafford/AFL Media

Votes
5: Nick Vlastuin
4: Alex Rance
3: Shane Edwards
2: Kane Lambert
1: Dylan Grimes

Leaderboard

Photo by Daniel Kalisz/Getty Images

Going into a game without Dusty for the first time in ages, I really hoped his absence would make room for others to stand up, in the way Hawthorn without Buddy played with a different and more creative style. But as 2017’s best player and Richmond’s ‘get out of jail free’ card, it was more likely to just bring us back to the pack.

I don’t rate Port. Too many individuals. They added Jack Watts and Steven Motlop in the off season, (which by now should have been nicknamed Wattslop. Footy media letting the side down again.) I thought we had them covered, even away and without Martin.

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Turns out he wouldn’t have even seen the ball for a while, as we were camped in defence from the first bounce.

2018 has been the year of the double fist thump. I don’t know who decided this was better than an almost uncontested mark but it’s happening all over now. Vlastuin executed a DFT in the first minutes and we didn’t get it into attack until 7 minutes later.

Dixon was just rag-dolling Rance at this stage and it looked ominous. Luckily Port fulfilled my lowly opinion and found various ways to stuff up great opportunities. Short was magnificent sweeping up and starting moves from half back. His kicks always found a target but the next phase broke down repeatedly.

This was the slipperiest Sherrin I have ever seen. The handling errors, and players clean bowled by a tumbling ball – have never seen the like. It was tense like all low scoring games but not great viewing. Robbie Gray basketball-dribbled as if just to point out that the ball was fine, these were purely human errors.

The tide turned when Westhoff tried to set up Neade with a ball to run onto. Cotchin wanted it more and it was back in Tiger hands.

Halfway through the first Q Jack took a pack mark and kicked truly and normal football resumed for a while. Sheds got two in just over a minute and we looked like going to the huddle with all the momentum. Then we manufactured another chance, Conca tried to thread it through a crowd at ankle-height, and it swept down the other end where Sam Gray wasted another gettable chance. Tiges by 7 at the break. Short, Riewoldt, Edwards, McIntosh, Broad, Grimes and Grigg all playing well.

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Jack extended our lead after a remarkable grab leaping over a collapsing pack. Everything now seemed to be travelling nicely. Then 200cm Charlie Dixon sold the dummy to new opponent Astbury and kicked long for Westhoff to kick an easy one. Then it was bang bang bang. We conceded 7 goals to 2 in the quarter, our 5th coming to Ant Miles who looked right at home back in the ones.

Vlastuin was taking important marks and Conca was fearlessly bodylining the ball. Nank exhibited a few brain fades. The umpires shared out the howlers pretty fairly I thought but a hold the ball against Conca here was criminal. As is Jared Polec’s hair, what the hell is going on there.

Power by 23 at half time.

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Turns out we could have wrapped it up there. The sides kicked three goals between them in the second half.

Jack backed into a pack without actually putting his arms up for the incoming ball and got smashed. I didn’t see the point of that, courageous though it was.

He kicked another goal which I recall was the end of a fantastic string of passes, real Barcelona stuff. Did I imagine it? It’s not on the AFL highlights clip. Although they found time in the edit for some schoolyard scuffles between Broad and various dingalings in teal.

Caddy put a beautiful kick to George’s advantage to mark between two bigger defenders, but he sprayed it. Our set shots were generally good all night, we just didn’t get enough of them. Missed a lot of tackles too.

Sheds’ quick hands sent George on his way and he grubbed that one through to keep a spark alive. At 3QT I wrote down ‘Butler Menadue invisible, Caddy Moore nothing up front’.

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Photo by James Elsby/AFL Media/Getty Images

In the last quarter the skills continued to decline. An exception was George’s thrilling pack mark and goal. Otherwise it was a nil-all draw.

So look, I still don’t rate Port. We were pretty bad and half a dozen of our side might as well have gone for a few laps of Pennington Gardens instead. Sam Gray impressed me but he’s a bit greedy. Wines and Powell-Pepper were terrific for them.

Photo by Daniel Kalisz/Getty Images

Votes
5: Jayden Short – clearly best Tiger afield. Clear thinking and accurate disposal.
4: Jack Riewoldt – still a formidable opponent. Gave everything.
3: Dylan Grimes – never seen him so confident. Surging out of D50 and starting rebounds.
2: Reece Conca – bleeds yellow and black. 9 tackles.
1: Alex Rance – ended up squaring a contest that earlier seemed no contest.

Mentioned in dispatches: Broad, Castagna, Cotchin, Miles, Edwards

Leaderboard

This was the most generally anticipated game in footy since Round 1. Our winning streak was 6, theirs was 7.

The trick for Eastern-states Tigers was how to fill all of Sunday until the 4.40pm first bounce. Here we went down to the rivulet with 200 other people and picked up plastic and polystyrene remnants from the flood a week ago, and that passed the time nicely.

I bought a one-week AFL Live Pass for this special occasion blockbuster. 5 bucks entitled me to an appropriately phone sized picture of the sun-drenched action from Optus Stadium, Perth. Throughout the game below the picture were stats from the completed Blues v Demons massacre. I never did work out how to get the right stats. I watched in front of the fireplace, squeezed up with the 16yo on my right, and the mini iPad balanced on a couple of cushions at eye level.

After Caddy opened the scoring (free kick to Cotch, messy pack mark that I considered 40/60 payable) – it was one way traffic for the rest of the quarter. I reassured myself that we came back from a similar terrible start against Carlton, but then again that was Carlton. Our outstanding players early were Riewoldt and Edwards. Jack was in everything but missed an easy set shot (as did Martin and Grigg). Sheds was a twisting, turning link man, distributing the ball at impossible angles to his direction of movement like the great farnarkler Dave Sorenson. Cotchin marked outside 50 and telegraphed that he wanted to dish off. Jayden Short has form for this but the Eagles were dozing – he arrived through the centre square and pounded it through for our much-needed second goal. Either side of Shorty’s goal Jack Darling kicked majors, to go with Cripps, Gaff, Kennedy and Willie Rioli. Ominous signs, down 37 -15 at QT. But Elliot Yeo was off injured and looking downcast, that could be helpful.

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After the break the ship began righting itself. Sheds opened with an amazing goal. Dusty’s pass into 50 was low and hard like an un-returnable forehand winner down the tramlines. His kicking action was entirely in the horizontal plane. Sheds patted it, tamed it, gathered it and nervelessly straightened up and kicked the goal. Note; he did not draw a man and handpass over the top. He did not head for the pocket so he could checkside it on the run. Suddenly we had the momentum. Nank was taking it up to NicNat. He is such a lovely kick, he delivered it perfectly for Jack to crash the pack and mark. He snuck the kick in, we were 9 points down. Today’s Ruck Chuckles were provided by Martin against Lycett and later Broad against Naitanui.

Jack Darling was paid a mark on the boundary 50 metres out that he controlled practically sitting in a Bunnings chair. His confidence up he approached to kick it checkside, hit the Fat Part Of The Ball™ and it fell into Redden’s hands right in front. It was that sort of day. At the other end our Jack went up for Mark Of The Year an hour early and missed the ball by metres, free kick. Oh we don’t wanna penalise THAT do we?? asked a Fox genius. We were killing them at this point, but still down 44-29. Jack buried Cole in a tackle but was unrewarded. Our entries were frequent, chaotic and unrewarded. Sheds’ hands outstanding, Lloyd spinning through the crowd but no scoreboard progress. 19 inside 50s to 3 for the quarter. The pressure is incredible. With misses and a dodgy rushed behind we creep up to 44-32. Somehow none of this is getting the ball through the big sticks, until the ball flips out of a standing pack at the top of square, and Jack soccers it sweetly through with his left. To be able to think his way through this situation is completely just off the charts in terms of football intelligence yeah OK mate I think he just saw it and kicked it, actually.

25 seconds later Jack made another one. Trying to hook it through as tackled, he changed his mind and managed to just toe it one metre to George who goaled from the square. George (sporting a Tom Libba-ish barnet) had collected Conca’s soccer out of the centre bounce, passed and ran on to get on the end. Best thing he did all day. Nank was working himself to exhaustion. With 12 seconds left he found the ball at his feet and just nudged it away gently like it was a possum in his driveway and he was trying to tell if it was alive. Siren. Scores level. First v second. Capacity crowd booing. How good is footy.

At the time I thought – ‘What a great quarter. Anyone’s game. Yeah bad kicking might bite us later but the momentum’s the thing’. How wrong I was. That quarter was our best chance to put a dent in this mob. Their oversize backline were marking only when we kicked it straight to them, and we did that plenty. For some reason our backline was misfiring and and we avoided that problem by ‘playing off a short pitch’, winning it back across the centre. It was really enjoyable to watch if it was divorced from what came before and after.

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I’ll just go with my notes for the 3rd quarter. The AFL Livepass was starting to struggle along with the Tiges.

Conca goals gets KMac cuddle.

Yeo back from the dead, greatest comeback since Gary Lazarus (Fitzroy 1963-70, 132 games).

James Cripps looks like Once In A Lifetime era David Byrne.

Conca flick to Riewoldt.

Cotch stupid 50, then Edwards. Too far back now.

Short again off a very lucky 50 metre penalty.

Astbury on Kennedy = David & Goliath.

Kelli Underwood – boundary duties only – weird.

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What I didn’t write was we gave up 7 goals to 3 in the premiership term. And just like that we were 28 points in arrears and our old mate momentum was Back In Town. Our Jack was having an incredible game, but their Jack was having his best of his career. Sheds had faded. George wasted opportunities. Butters was invisible and might miss next week for Rioli. I feel for Stengle that Rioli’s return might cost him a chance.

Martin looked to me to have gone back to the 2016 model. Less trust in his mates – which leads to him doing too much. Cotchin was very solid in adversity. Dylan didn’t have a good game but there was a little moment that showed what great spirit he plays the game in. Gave away a free which sparked a melee but gave the Eagle a little tap later – sorry mate.

There’s lots I don’t understand about footy. Example – we concede the ruck to Naitanui. It is 100% guaranteed he is going to tap it to an Eagle midfielder. We don’t even contest therefore we have an extra man. How in heaven’s name did he repeatedly find a man he could tap to, streaming free in the clear?

Seconds before the final siren Butters demonstrated a fault we have shown all year. 35 out right in front, instead of taking the shot he tried to chip it to Jack. Siren. Jack punched it away.

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Votes:
5 Riewoldt for a genuine 4-quarter effort. Showed real leadership all day. His first votes for the year, incredible.
4 Nankervis gave NicNat a great contest. His workload is incredible.
3 Edwards was at his very best in the first half.
2 Cotchin was down early, missed shots, was in our best when the game was running against us. 7 tackles.
1 Conca is not everyone’s cup of tea but I can think of heaps of clubs who’d love to have him.

Unlucky: Short, Caddy, Martin

Leaderboard

I spent most of the 90s living overseas – first in Scotland and then Germany. Apparently, the Kangas were good during this period and a bloke called Duck dominated. I didn’t see any of this. My only thoughts regarding North are, first: my Dad follows them – he’s originally from NSW and chose North based on the fact his Dad played League for Canterbury Bankstown, who are also blue and white, second: I can’t remember North ever being any good and third: I never, ever tip North correctly – they win when they should lose and lose when they should win. They were supposed to lose to Richmond, and as a result, I was worried.

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Q1
The first 10 minutes of the first quarter had me concerned – we were overusing the ball and turning it over with monotonous regularity. While I am big fan of ‘flair’, sometimes the basics work, especially early when the other mob is ‘up for the contest’™. Grimes starts very well and his bullet pass to George brings a big grin to my dial. Man-mountain Majak Daw’s tackle attempt is shrugged off by Towna despite the fact Daw is approximately 37 times his size. Daw is the sort of player who must frustrate the bejesus out of supporters – he has all the physical attributes to dominate footy but always seems to be a half-step behind the play. I really hope he works it out…just not today. Despite our poor use of the pill, we got inside 50 a lot – but don’t capitalise. North were a model of efficiency – by my count they got inside our defensive 50 twice and had kicked 2 straight. We had kicked 3.4.

Quarter-time notes: Dusty unsighted, Cotch starting to get hot, Caddy kicks goals, we need to tighten up on Ben Brown, Cunnington is a machine.
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Q2
Repeat efforts from Cotch (this is standard) leads to Dusty getting the ball, quick flick back to the skipper then onto Lambert – GOAL!!! Best passage of play by a mile and our mid-size speedsters make North’s tall defence look cumbersome. 4.4 to 2.0 – we are starting to get reward for effort and have some breathing space. Simpkin snaps – goal. Atley snaps – goal. 4.4 to 4.0 Breathing space gone. North have 4.0 from 4 shots on goal ffs… Our pressure finally starts to reap rewards: Titch shimmy, onto Cotch, onto Lambert – GOAL!, Caddy takes advantage of a dubious, um, advantage call – GOAL! Jack, set shot from 45 – GOAL! 7.4 to 4.0 North finally miss and each team kicks another goal (Jack) to make the half-time score 8.4.52 to 5.2.32

Half-time notes: Cotch is on fire, ditto Cunnington, Brown marking on the wing – win for us, we have fluffed a few chances through being unselfish – sometimes Route 1 is best, 16 inside-50s for 5.2 hmmm…
I am on iTunes listening to ‘Killing Joke in Dub’ and trying to work out if I like it or if I’m annoyed by it. I saw Killing Joke in Frankfurt in the mid-90s and they were fantastic, Jaz Colman was mental and my ears buzzed for a week. On the tele (muted) Sam Gibson is doing ballet. Early Killing Joke sounds like early Cult – when they were Southern Death Cult. I decide Killing Joke in Dub is annoying.
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Q3
Rance is tackled by Brown, while the ball is in a different postcode – Ball! Nice one ump… North kick the first of the term and edge closer. 8.4 to 6.2 North look like they believe they can beat us. Nank delivers a pinpoint look-away handball – he is a ripper. Titch misses a set shot. Rance, too slow, is tackled and the following passage of play sees the Sherrin sail over the umpire’s hat. 8.5 to 7.2 Our disposals have been poor and were it not for our tackling pressure, we’d be in real trouble. We need Dusty to join in at some stage. Lambert kicks his third. 9.5 to 7.2 I know I shouldn’t, but I’m starting to get annoyed by the number of ticki-touchwood frees the Kangas are receiving. Conca tries to break one too many tackles with the resultant turnover being marked by Brown 30 metres out, D.i.F. (Directly in Front) – Goal! 9.6. to 8.3 Soft free kick to McMillan – Goal! 9.6 to 9.3 The siren goes and Towna has a set shot from about 80 metres. In the background some North-supporting halfwit is hurling abuse at Towna while glancing at himself on the big screen. This bloke is, I’d say, in his late thirties. My suggestion for this clown is to maybe try on some big boy’s pants and grow up a bit, or go back to the kiddies table. What a twerp. Towna’s shot ends up going at right angles and almost into the second tier. Three-quarter time score 9.7.61 to 9.3.57.

Q3 notes: Cotch is a jet, the game was very messy for the last 10 minutes and this suited North, we need to keep up tackling pressure, North have won more contested ball, the last quarter will be stressful, c’mon Dusty!!!
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Q4
Dusty has moved forward. Higgins snaps – Goal!!! Bollocks – it’s Shaun Higgins, not Jack. Kangas in front. 9.7.61 to 10.3.63 Five minutes into the quarter, we have a 50-19 advantage in inside 50 disposals and we’re behind. Jesus. C’mon boys! Dusty finally makes an appearance – kicks to Caddy, great contested grab and goals from 45. 10.7 to 10.3 This is tight. Free kick then 50 to Waite (I have no idea why) Goal! 10.7 to 11.3 The best passage of play for the match – Jack quick hands to Dusty, Dusty tap to Cotch, Cotch – Goal! Unstoppable, classy, imaginative and a real team-lifter. 11.7 to 11.3 Dusty has clearly decided he has had enough of watching, wins a scrap on the wing and hits up Butler, 45m out D.i.F. – Goal! 12.9 to 11.3 Ben Brown has two chances to put North in front and misses both. We dodged a bullet there. The last few minutes are desperate and scrappy. Rance is all class and desperation – winning contests and free kicks as he does what he does week in, week out. The siren goes. We have won. Again. Tiges 12.10.82 – Kangas 11.6.72
End game notes: Our skipper – what a pearler. Cunnington (32 contested possessions!) – who wouldn’t have him? Dusty – good enough to have an impact, despite being in second gear. Bachar backed up into a pack to take a mark – he would not have done this 2 years ago. I was right about the free kicks Tiges 24 – Kangas 33. Sometimes we need to take the shot and not try to handball to someone who is in a marginally better position. Caddy is getting better and better. We won through grit and effort – this is good.
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Votes:
5 Cotch – easily our best, and if he keeps this up will press for another Brownlow
4 Caddy – kicked 4 and, importantly, kicked them when others couldn’t
3 Lambert – kicked 3 and buzzed around covering enough ground for 2 players
2 Grimes – as fashionable a happy pants, as effective as combat boots
1 Vlastuin – hard as a cat’s head and, for a small defender, took a lot of big defensive marks
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