As an injured Ben Griffiths was being loaded onto the little bus at Bellerive, a North supporter shouted “Make ‘im pay for the petrol!” It was the second trip out for the bus, having taken brave Steve Morris off about five minutes into the game. We were already two goals and two men down (Grimes was a late late late withdrawal) and the game did not get any better.
My elder son Marcus and I caught the free ferry over from the Brooke St Pier with a crowd that seemed predominantly Richmond. All the ferries in town including MONA’s were mobilised, a smart move – no pushing or dramas because they minimised waiting. It was already bloody cold but the passage was calm and scenic. We were surrounded by a lot of mainlanders who were charmed by the city lights, the stars, the little bar right there on board and the novel way of arriving at the footy. Arriving en masse at the footy is quite different to departing; anything is still possible. And few of the arrivals will have been smashing the mid-strength lagers for 3 hours, which is a factor on your way home.
On Bellerive Quay we looked for food but the queues were heavy. Friend of TTBB Ben Walker materialised to advise that the fish and chips wait was 40 minutes, so we went to a local hot chicken shop and outwitted the system by walking out moments later with salads. As we ate the clammy salads with plastic forks outdoors at 4° I felt like a real winner already.

Marcus and the author. We have one club scarf between us so I get the home brand yellow one.
We made our way to the Hill and found a patch of grass. I actually prefer to stand, but the good standing places were full; and we had brought rugs for sitting so we settled down. Shortly after Dugald stepped over us on his way to his family nest, just a Trent Cotchin kick away. There were 17,000 there. The outer was predominantly Tigers but the big stands were solid Shinboner territory. They managed to sway the umpires a number of times with their massed noise.

Good job cheer squad. I never had your faith but even my modest hopes were dashed.
Now, that’s enough scene setting, lets cut to the game. It was a terrible performance. Just abysmal. We asked ourselves afterwards what highlights we could recall and honestly for me it was the classic Lindsay Thomas greedy moment in the 2nd quarter. Two mates on for a handball near the goalsquare and he went the Hollywood checkside instead for a behind.
Our kicking at goal was poor. Our chasing was poor. Hampson got good numbers but [my usual proviso that I don’t know anything about footy here] I thought Daw killed him. We were lucky to be just 25 points down at halftime. The conditions were very slippery and neither side was handling the ball well. North were smarter; they found alternative roads to goal. Waite is in a form slump and didn’t contribute much; although I did see him go out of his way to fetch the boundary ump the ball which was nice. Ben Brown got his hands on it at least but only kicked one. While Harvey, Wells and Thomas equalled our score between them.
There is a slim chance that with 22 fit we could have held our own and gone down by that half time margin, and that would have got a tick from me. I am charitable enough to say that injuries denied us that slim chance.
Cotchin, Miles, Grigg, Rance, Batchelor and Hunt all performed, and Rioli had his usual glimpses of brilliance. Dusty and Jack were disappointing. When Griffiths went down I took the opportunity to get us some hot food; they weren’t taking EFTPOS but fortunately I had $4 so we had two potato cakes each and I forgot to salt them. Unforced errors everywhere you look.
Despite the cold we were actually quite lucky with the weather. No wind and if there had been even a light shower there would be a pneumonia epidemic now.
The last quarter was poor football all round and fans of both sides made early departures. We stayed for the final bell in the hope of seeing some bit of magic from our boys that might light up the night. No luck.
Waiting for the ferry, there was a mystery group who chose not to queue. The ferries were coming and going frequently, and after a short wait the MONA ferry tied up beside us. Downstairs I could see a table laid with about 400 sausage rolls and bottles of sauce. You beauty David Walsh I thought, laying on a free ferry AND throwing in the sozzie rolls for the punters, what a man he is. Of course our queue didn’t move and in no time the mystery group had filed aboard and could clearly be seen helping themselves to said rolls. It was the one ticketed ferry in amongst the generally otherwise free fleet.
Live AFL is still a rarity for me so it wasn’t until the next day that the glow faded and I thought about how genuinely terrible it was to lose that by 70 points. We have the best possible 3 weeks to patch our wounds; Gold Coast, bye, Brisbane. We need 8 points, percentage boost, players to get form and confidence and the injury list to shorten in those 3 weeks.
Hells bells that was a rubbish game. The less said about it the better, so, I really liked your piece Chris. Forensic analysis of queuing and waiting rather than noting the aesthetic and athletic brilliance of our players.
I returned home from doing some tasks just in time for the start of the 3/4 (after seeing about 10minutes of the first). I resumed my household chores about 15 minutes later. I remember Mark Maclure talking about the Dees once saying ‘Melbourne, today, they weren’t even witches hats’. Well, that first 10minutes of the 3/4 was as close to witches-hats the Tiges have been. Except for the elimination against Port, perhaps?
Terrible for Morris. He has been fantastic over the last month or so, and was showing that he would have been again against North. Even in that brief moment after his injury he still punched the ball forward.
Never saw a minute of the game, but love this post on the (apparent) slop-fest everyone says it was.
Even through the gloom of the fog descending on the “2016 Finalist – Richmond” landscape you pepper your post with little golden nuggets.
And I quote…
“I did see him (Waite) go out of his way to fetch the boundary ump the ball which was nice.”
“we had two potato cakes each and I forgot to salt them. Unforced errors everywhere you look.”
“As we ate the clammy salads with plastic forks outdoors at 4° I felt like a real winner already.”
Certainly brought a smile to this dial – love your work.
Love the “unforced errors”, that made me smile. Was such a memorable night, but this had nothing to do with our footy team. I’m not sure they gave us anything to cheer with gusto.
And our car is still stuck in Tasmania.
Our football gods are so cruel to us.
Go Tiges! Next week, then the week after, then the week after, give us something to cheer.
The game went bad before it even started for the cheer squad, when we found out there were 24 people who were sold seats that did not even exist any more. Add to that the new signage which is 8-10 cm higher than the old fence, and only the tallest could enjoy the game to its fullest. I am sorry, but dead of winter is not the place to play a night match in Hobart, even with 4 layers of clothing including thermals, the 3 degree temperature made sitting still to watch a game very cold. All of this was made worse by a lack of facilities (one lady left at the end of half time for food and a loo, and missed the whole third quarter) and a very poor effort by our team did not make for a good footy experience. Luckily the rest of our Weekend in Hobart was good and we got out before the floods.
I feel so sorry for anyone who travelled far for that disgraceful display, plus the cold. The seat cock-up is inexcusable, I apologise on behalf of Bellerive, Vince. Glad you at least found enjoyment somewhere else around Hobart.
Two images remain … One is of a super Rance Spoil, the other is of huddled, shivering tiger fans hooded and peeking from beneath tartan blankets, faces shrouded with deepest concern….unsalted potatoe cakes?
Go Tiges
Alex is on the back of buses all over town now, modelling Lowes’ moderately priced dad fashions.
Despite losing the game you have to admit going to the footy with your kid/s is a great experience. Once we’re back up there you’ll be able to remember you were there as father and son during a bleak day. The good times are coming Chris and you and your young bloke will appreciate those times together as well.
Hi Tommo. Yes it IS a great experience and all the wins and losses together make up the great patchwork quilt that is living the Tiges life. As I said, the experience is so wonderful (regardless of result) that the misery of losing actually takes 24 hours to fully kick in, for me.
One week later and I,m still thawing out. I hope Dugald,s car is on the mend. It still feel,s colder in Melb.(Go TTBB.).
The saltless spud cake unforced error line is an absolute pisser Reecy. A buck a go at the footy seems a steal?
How much better would a tassie side be than a western sydney side (culturally speaking)?. The crowd numbers at Bellerive on an arctic night slay the spotless numbers on the finest of afternoons.
So once again, get stuffed AFL admin.
Out of curiosity, did they allow a kick on Bellerive after the game? This is a key measure of cultural capital, which Gil and his old Xaverian mates dont get.
Thanks Corbo. Yes I was stoked to find PCs at a dollar a pop especially given the eftpos situation. I don’t think there was K2K after the bell but I admit we did bustle off pretty fast. I’ve had plenty of kicks on that ground anyway, even during halftime of the local grand final.
I have always been staunchly agnostic about a Tas AFL team on account of how the cause magnetically attracts scoundrels, parochialism being the last refuge etc. But since the AFL has been literally hosing money at rugby strongholds, I have been feeling that we are indeed getting a raw deal.