Australian Rules football can be a beautiful game: fast, skilful and gloriously unpredictable. Unfortunately none of these adjectives apply to the dispiriting spectacle of Tiges vs Saints at the MCG in the penultimate round of an underwhelming 2016 season.
When I was a kid my mother used to caution that if you had nothing nice to say, then it was best you said nothing. Were I to heed her advice in this instance I’d be hard pressed to write a match report any longer than a haiku, which might go like this:
Waving daffodils
Light up the Fitzroy Gardens
Best play of the day
Because, really, it’s difficult to find many redeeming features from what was undoubtedly one of the worst game of footy I’ve ever seen.
I think it has to be said that, in 2016, the Tiges play a brand of football that is excruciating to watch. We present a style of play that’s entirely un-playful. (Alas, I don’t think there’s any deliberate irony in this game plan.) No-one seems to be having much fun, on either side of the fence.
How does our beloved football team infuriate its long-suffering fans at the MCG on this particular crisp and breezy winter afternoon? Let me count some of the ways:
– We habitually chip the ball around ineffectually, losing ground and momentum until we eventually cough the thing up through an unforced error;
– For some reason, we love to handball to a player who’s under pressure;
– We have no fluency in moving the ball out of defence and no apparent plan for receiving the ball into our forward line;
– We don’t run and block and tackle and inspire each other anywhere near enough;
– On the rare occasions when we do have control of the ball in our forward line we’re usually incapable of kicking it between the big sticks.
Much of the difference between a good team and an average team at AFL level is about confidence and belief. The Richmond team of 2016 seems sadly lacking in this department. Our skills look decidedly second-rate, but I reckon this is largely because the players don’t have a game plan that they properly believe in.
Of course, all of this is just the opinion of one bloke sitting on the side of the fence from which it’s easy to criticise. Aussie Rules footy is a brutal game, and I don’t like to be too harsh. But the truth is, as much as I love the Richmond jumper, I’ve got to the point where I no longer want to watch a team playing such a frustrating, boring and unproductive style of game.
Fortunately, I can at least report a couple of redeeming moments. One of these was the bloke sitting behind me observing that whoever was taking official stats on unforced errors was probably the hardest working person at the game. (It was hard to disagree.) On a more positive front, the other was the display of young Daniel Rioli. Here’s a player growing in confidence and looking capable of developing into a genuinely exciting talent. From my point of view, he produced nearly all of our best on-field moments.
Some final comments:
I wish to exempt Mr Alex Rance from my general criticisms above. He has played all year with a passion and flair that’s beyond reproach. (I think that Jack Riewoldt has generally done likewise, but not in yesterday’s game for some reason.)
Dreamteam points ratings are bullshit. The number of times a player touches the ball matters far less than the quality of what they do with it. Dustin Martin had a lot of the ball yesterday but did nothing much of note. (This is also a criticism I’d make of Brandon Ellis most of the time.)
I wish I understood what has happened to Shane Edwards this season. He’s a player of exquisite skills and lightening reflexes, and I can’t understand why he’s suddenly dropped so much off the pace.
I also wish I understood what Ben Lennon has done to offend the selection committee. He might be a good footballer if he ever got a decent run of senior games. But I guess we’ll never know.
I’m sure I’m not the only person who prays that a miraculous lightening bolt might incinerate those on-field dickheads who parade around with microphones before the game and during the breaks. Their prattle is inane and their enthusiasm is entirely confected. Enough already!
Sigh…
Trudging home through the Fitzroy Gardens after this misspent afternoon, I could at least be grateful for the host of golden daffodils (as Willy Wordsworth once did say).
Malcolm McKinnon has been a Tiger from birth, which is surely a mixed blessing. He often wishes that he cared less about football.
Chris says
Thanks Malcolm, for showing up at all and for writing it up for us.
We have a basic policy at TTBB similar to your mum, but it presents a problem when you’ve got a column to fill and your team is desperately disappointing in multiple ways.
I don’t believe in labelling any Tigers as spuds or bad draft choices or lazy (although I have sinned in this regard) but I think its fair enough to say of any player “you were good and now you’re not: what gives?”
There’s always spring, the daffodils, the draft, the youngsters. It’s the hope that kills you.
Lapsed Tiger says
Nice work Malc.
I agree on playing style (if you can call it that). It is a melange of attack without focus, defence without and with the ball, and a focus on possession.
I cant see development from the young lads clearly, and the recycled boys are dropping off on effectiveness.
Clean out, reload, go again.
andy says
I enjoyed reading your piece Malcolm. Great to read it so quickly after such a horrible game.
Right now, watching Richmond is like going to the cinema to watch a film by a director who has as good as no experience, actors with no experience etc etc and expecting the film to be good and then being angry and disappointed when it isn’t. Difference being our club is ‘professional’.
Frankly, we have to find other reasons to be there other than expecting good footy. The problem with this is us fans have been doing this (looking for other pleasures at the footy) for far too long. Sometimes it might just be nice to watch the Tiges play well rather than go through the excruciating existentialist experience you mentioned like yesterday – let alone last weekend. I only rarely watch other teams play, but when I do, I barely recognise that they’re playing the same code the Tiges play – let alone in the same league.
That being said, I’m not keen on laying the blame with the players: the coaches should have been able to inculcate a clear plan over the too-long pre-season. (Perhaps Rance’s long holiday was good so that he wasn’t fried and bored with too much detail on overly complicated tactics.) This season so quickly became the rehearsal for 2017: not sure if 70,000 members (how many of them 3 gamers?) should really cop that.
Go Tiges! No really…
Andy
Dugald says
At last!
Haiku!
With a touch of Spring.
But not for us Tigers.
Nice work MM.
Agree with all of it.
Dan Rioli has really found his groove these past few weeks.
Team confident is at a low ebb.
Morale is rattled.
Heart seemed to be missing on Saturday afternoon.
Finals time but, alas, not us.
I’m thinking of driving instead to Lake Mungo. With our two boys.
Seeking clarity
#gotiges