The Benny

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I had hoped to get to this game but there was a clash with a delayed Mothers’ day event and so I watched it on telly instead. I watched the last quarter live and caught up this morning with the first half.

Shedda is captain again which is always good. Queen is playing loudly which is not. Brian Taylor is “Not sure about the drums” which have been a Richmond tradition going back to 2016 or so. Gillie says it’s about getting the crowd going, which of course is the complete opposite of what the drums and all the loud music is about, which is getting the crowd right out of it. I love Gillie and think BT is a fool, but even fools can be right about some things.

The Hawks start well and Richmond don’t apply too much pressure – only 17 tackles to half-time, Tim Watson says. Luckily the Hawks can’t kick straight and this keeps the Tigers in it.

Scully appears to score, but of course there’s a review before it’s declared a goal. Hawks 1 goal to none. Hawks are looking good early, confident and quick but the Tigers smother their next attack. Ivan Soldo is in the ruck, game number nine, but his first for this year. We are told he is Maric’s cousin, which is reason enough to pick him. Martin makes a good break and does a quick one-two with Lambert, then gets the ball across to McIntosh, but the Hawks clean up.

BT says Richmond haven’t lost to anyone at the ‘G in 33 months except twice by bloody Collingwood. Well he just said “Collingwood,” but I can’t say or write that name without an adjective.

Vlaustin kicks very well to Higgins who takes a brave mark and cops a strong bump for his trouble. When he’s on song Vlaustin’s kicking is beautiful. Another Richmond attack is repelled by the Hawks who rebound well but only get a point for their trouble.

Ryan Garthwaite is in the team too, for game number five.

Higgins is pinged for a throw after what some would call a clever tap. It seems harsh when I think of the blatant throws people get away with, but there you go. Who’d be an umpire?

Breust for the Hawks has a very gettable shot and misses. Hawthorn have had five shots on goal and lead 1.4 to 0. We are very lucky to be still in it.

Houli is having another good game, kicking is on target and he’s working his legs off, as usual. Sicily is giving Lynch a hard time, which is impressive, in a way, given he’s so much smaller, but appalling, in another, considering he’s wearing that awful jumper and his target is Our Tom.

Another beautiful 50-meter kick from Vlaustin to Higgins who marks well, goes back and kicks it. Then obediently runs off the ground, as is the fashion in modern footy. Don’t want anyone kicking too many goals at once, be bad for the team balance, or something.
Ellis makes a very good interception but Castagna is pinged for dropping the ball once we get it inside the 50.
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Breust kicks another for the Hawks and they lead 2.4 to 1.0.
Mcintosh makes a huge run-down tackle but doesn’t win a free. Vlaustin, in a great bit of play, gets it to Balta who has three bounces and puts it out on the full. I do love Balta, he’s huge, very quick and doesn’t mind a bounce. There’s plenty of good bits of play from the Tigers but overall they’re not putting it together.
Breust misses again. Lynch marks from a good kick from Grimes. Lynch’s kick is high and straight and Tigers trail 2.5 to 2.1.
Lynch takes another mark inside 50 but kicks out of bounds.
Lambert snaps and misses.

McEvoy of the Hawks is off injured and won’t come back. Higgins marks inside 50 and then waits before passing to Martin, quite close but on a bit of an angle. It’s his 13th touch of the footy for the quarter and he kicks after the siren and goals. Without him and the Hawks poor kicking we would have been in strife.
Quarter time score 3.2.20 to 2.5.17
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Balta sends a huge kick to Baker who turns too slowly and is run down and tackled. Lynch wins a 50 and goals from about 30 out. Tigers 26 to 17.
Hawks miss again. Looking dangerous in attack but they can’t finish. Long may it be so. Moore for the Hawks makes another miss. Grimes is having a bit of a day out and is quite the attacking defender. Another good kick from him into the forward line leads to a snapped goal from Caddy. Richmond are in front 5.5 to 2.7.

Hawthorn string some passes together and score, now 5.5 to 3.7. Hawks miss again, 36 to 26. Lots of pressure by both teams and it seems very hard for anyone to string passes together and break free.
Ellis, who is also having a bit of a day out, finds Baker on the 50 with his left foot. Baker kicks and finds Martin in the pocket. Martin goes back and kicks it with three seconds left in the quarter.
Half time 42 to 26

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Third quarter
Two quick goals to Breust makes it a close game. Things are not working so well for Richmond, passes are going astray, players are caught with the footy. Eventually a long kick into the 50 is brought to ground by Lynch, Caddy gathers and kicks from 45, a lucky bounce sees it over for a goal.

A brilliant break by the Tigers sees them suddenly outnumber the Hawks. Astbury kicks out, but the Hawks win the ball back and are stringing some good passes together until Player X intercepts the ball, it goes to Prestia, he handballs to Balta who runs bounces and runs and bounces and handballs, over the top to Castagna who nearly kicks it over the Ponsford.

It’s a brilliant transition as the Richmond players run into space once they have the footy. I can’t see who Player X was who started it all with his interception. It seems to be one of our smaller defenders. When we come back from the ad Watson is praising him. It’s Edwards, of course.

Houli is having a good game. He gives the ball away and then follows up with a tackle from which there is no escape. Bolton kicks into the 50 and Lynch marks strongly but the umpire gives the ball to Macintosh for being held. Mac drills it and Lynch pats him on the head, so there are no hard feelings, apparently. Richmond by 21 points.

With Lewis and McEvoy injured, it’s little surprise that the Hawks are being out-run. Ellis marks a Hawthorn kick, goes across ground to Vlaustin who kicks long and low to Baker who marks about 40 out and goes back for the set shot. It’s a huge kick from the young feller, from the 50, plenty of height and length and it sneaks through for a goal. Tigers by 22, with three minutes left in the term.
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Great bit of pressure in the forward line, Dusty should have gotten a free but didn’t.

Impey is very good for Hawthorn. Is it just me or are there smaller, highly skilled players around at the moment than they used to be? Richmond seem to have six or ten of them in the side each week and other teams seem to be catching on.

Mac passes into the 50 and Balta runs in from the side and takes a great grab. Kicks it from about 25, Tigers by 28.

11.7 to 6.9 at the last break

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I can hear the grating voice of the spruiker loud and clear as the play is about to re-start. There are 60 thousand in the ground but almost no crowd noise at the break, even as the ball is about to be bounced.

Mac has a good chance but misses the set shot. Balta gathers a spilled ball, moves into space and sends a great kick that’s marked by Higgins who hits the post. Tigers by 31.

A great Vlaustin tackle causes a turnover, Edwards gets it to Baker who gets it to someone who kicks very well from outside the 50 and near the boundary. Caddy pounces on the ball and snaps for a goal. Tigers by 30.
Gunston has a good chance to pull one back but misses an easy shot.

Vlaustin takes a handball from Martin, turns and kicks from 55. Kick is high and handsome and Richmond are up by 36 points. Vlaustin has his kicking boots on today. Along with Astbury and Grimes he has gone up a level or two since Rance was injured.

Hawthorn have a lot of space in their forward line and Dylan Moore scores his first goal in AFL footy. Richmond by 30.

Menadue passes to Baker who takes a good overhead mark and passes to Lynch who marks well. He goes back and kicks from the 50, straight, high and long and the Tigers are up by six goals. From the bounce Martin passes to Baker who has a kick from outside 50 after the siren. He tries a torp which goes right off the side of his boot. It is very pleasing to see him smile after this and even more pleasing to see him try a torpedo. It would be a great shame were this art to be lost to the tyranny of the drop punt.

It’s a very good win by the Tigers, especially considering Hawthorn’s demolition of the Giants at this ground last week. We have unearthed a lot of young players who are filling the big boots of Rance, Cotchin, Riewoldt, Nankervis, Short, Butler and Grigg. Lynch is settling in well. The run of the team when they win a turnover is often breathtaking and the skill in execution is a sight.
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Dusty was best on ground. A truckload of possessions, about half of them contested. Ellis was very good too, as was Grimes, Astbury and Vlaustin. Edwards, another good game. But a very even performance. At least a dozen players could have gotten votes – Houli, as almost always, Baker, Stack, Caddy, as is his happy habit, kicked goals when we really needed them. Balta was very exciting. Has there ever been such a big player who liked to bounce the ball so much?

Today in the paper Hardwick, as is the Richmond way now, admitted fault and said he often didn’t see the positive side of Ellis ‘game. How I love Dimma and his boys.

I think we’ll give the Bombers a hard time next week, as usual.

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Benny Votes by Chris

Martin 5, Houli 4, Ellis 3, Vlastuin 2, Balta 1 and an additional honourable mention from me for Soldo. He was lucky McEvoy went down but his tap work was super all day.

Leaderboard

Edwards 19
Vlastuin 16
Grimes 14
Lynch 12
Stack, Martin, Ellis 11
Houli 10
Ellis 8
Bolton 6
Nankervis 5
Prestia 4
Cotchin, Broad, Lambert 3
Ross, Baker 2
Rioli, Castagna, Balta 1

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I have a mixed record of listening to Richmond games while cooking. There was the stirring win against Port a few weeks go as I rolled out naan bread to go with our first meal in our newly-renovated house. But then there was the final against Carlton in 2013. Some soul-preserving force had stopped me going to that game. Instead I prepared a roast dinner while listening to Richmond crush the Blues in the first half.

By half-time the dinner was in the oven and the kitchen was clean and tidy. I sat down and life turned to shit.

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Still, I was quietly confident about this game. The Port game had given me some hope and without knowing much about Port or Freo, I had a feeling they were similarly ranked. Tough but not invincible.

Of course, it wouldn’t be on telly. And then I even had trouble finding it on the radio. Then I realised I’d mis-read the start time – 5.20 not 3.20. But even at 5.20 the local ABC was still blathering about the Hawks. I used my phone and listened to it that way but for no good reason it kept cutting out, so my knowledge of the game is patchy.

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Anyway, it started well for us. Bolton had a goal in no time, then Lynch got one, then Bolton got another before I lost reception for the first time and Lambert made it four. It was reminding me of the Freo game in 2015 when we couldn’t miss.

Bolton’s second goal was notable. On the tv highlights the commentators described Houli’s grubber into the forward line as “a poor kick.” Bollocks. It gave our small forwards an excellent chance of winning it at ground level. What’s so poor about that? For 20 years I’ve been whingeing about how we keep bombing it long even when we’re always out-marked in the forward line. I’d be very happy to see more “poor” kicks like Houli’s.

Freo got a few back then. Lobb marked and goaled, way too tall for our depleted defence. And Conca, whom we wish well but not too well, passed perfectly to Hogan who marked right in front. He may have missed the shot though. At the first break it was us in front, 4.3.27 to 3.2.20.

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Unfortunately, the second quarter was less fun. Freo fought their way back into it, Tank gave away two 50-meter penalties that resulted in a Freo goal and then left the ground with a bad groin. He was back before half time – something that I never like to see. How much painkiller and local anaesthetic had they given him? But he couldn’t move, the commentators said, and he was soon off again. Freo scored and scored again and soon were level.

They didn’t run over the top of us though as you might have expected. Our boys are made of sterner stuff than that. Balta kicked the ball a mile and Lynch went backwards with the flight to take a great grab. The Tigers had extended their lead to 13 points at big break. This was despite Ross going off with what seemed to be a bad ankle injury after Fyfe stepped on him. I’m sure he didn’t mean to.

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In the second half Baker opened the scoring with a big kick on the run following some fast hands and a very clever knock-on from Martin. Richmond’s skills were dazzling at times. The radio commentators – who were parochial, but who knew class when they saw it – described one passage of play as like “the Harlem Globetrotters.” It began with a clever Menadue kick along the boundary, followed by two more clever touches by unidentified players before it went to Martin who found Ellis with a handball. With Higgins free in the pocket he went instead to the top of the square to the contest which Freo won. Full credit to them to defend so well against a team so skilful.

Broad was in the ruck now, sharing the job with Balta, and actually won a centre bounce. Of course, Freo ended up with the footy and scored. What does the ruck actually matter anyway?

Ellis more than made up for his imperfect pass with a massive tackle on Wilson. It was text-book hard footy for the modern age. Completely bowled him over, won the free kick but didn’t drive him into the turf nor endanger his head. One for the training video that one.

At the last break Richmond looked a real chance, 13.8.86 to 8.11.59.

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In the last term a classic Tiger forward-line scramble caused a turnover and Bolton scored his fourth. The pressure by the forwards was magnificent all day and there was polish in converting the chances.
Then Martin scored from a fair way out with the outside of his boot and we were up by 44 points and the game was ours. Freo got the last three goals but if our boys were in “don’t-let-anyone-else-get-injured” mode by then, I can’t blame them.
Final score:
Richmond 17.9.111 to Freo 12.14.86

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As I say my knowledge of this game is patchy, based on radio commentary and a few viewings of the highlights on YouTube. It didn’t even get covered in next day’s Age, despite the game finishing by 8pm. The paper version of the Age just pretended the game never happened. Yet it was a very good win by the Tigers against the odds. The pressure in the forward line and around the ground was constant and there were some amazing goals. Castagna took the cake with his dance around two opponents and the umpire, while finding time and space to bounce the ball. And his finish was all class.

Votes go to Bolton (5), Ellis (4), Houli (3), Grimes (2) and Castagna (1). But actually, they could go to the whole team. How can you win in Perth with almost half your team missing, lose another two players before half time and still win by a good margin? Only if everyone plays out of their skin, which they clearly did.

Leaderboard

Edwards 19
Vlastuin, Grimes 14
Lynch 12
Stack 11
Ellis 8
Martin, Bolton, Houli  6
Nankervis 5
Prestia 4
Cotchin, Broad, Lambert 3
Ross, Baker 2
Rioli, Castagna 1

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Saturday nights we have dinner with my Mum and Dad. Since the Tiges have become box office gold, this often means a clash with the only game of the round I intend to watch. They are nice people who raised me so I am pretty disciplined about time-shifting the game and just focussing on what they are saying about their fruit trees, their friends’ health challenges and what things were like in Launceston in 1946. Drays feature heavily.

All this is by way of saying I watched the 2nd half of our heavy loss to the Bulldogs live (without taking notes), and have now just gone back to the start. The hard drive has some sort of palsy and won’t let me get past the Billy Gowers reverse-head-butt on Grimes. But I’ll give you what I’ve got.

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Start was promising, lovely footwork from Ross stepping around big Z Cordy and centreing the ball for Lynch but it was intercepted by Kam McIntosh who goaled. But then Bontempelli [Italian for “little good times”?] began his masterclass which continued all night.

Mendadue crashed in hard to make a chance for McIntosh’s 2nd but he missed. Bolton hit a target by hand while being put in a spinning sleeper slam. Caleb Daniel having a clumsy game – gave the ball to Captain Sheds who hit up Caddy who notched our 2nd. Rioli was running into goal with only the pitter patter of little Caleb’s feet behind him and he shot from too far out, like an under 10. Next minute he was run over, coming up with sore leg and ribs. Dr Matthew Richardson suggested he’d picked up a “hip pointer”.

Dogs murdering their shots at goal. Stacky sold the dummy then gave to Baker who put it over the goal umpire’s hat. Baker has the now-standard Bulldogs munter hairdo. Bolton delivered a perfect pass to Balta 15m out but he dropped it under light pressure.
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Bont loped about doing as he pleased and found dear old Sam Lloyd who at last kicked straight. They’re the most inaccurate team in the league and that’s the only reason we went in 3 points up at quarter time, 3.2 to 2.5. Vlossy turned his ankle just before the siren and it looked like we might have lost another couple of senior Tigers.

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After the restart Naughton was doing what he liked, playing on Broad, with Grimes on Gowers. I’d have swapped but then I’ve only coached u/12 school soccer. Darcy loved Naughton “marking it at it’s highest point”, the sign of a real doofus. Nank was exuding power and menace, the man just loves to tackle other humans. Dogs flicked the switch to ACCURATE and like that we were in trouble. Their mids were delivering it silkily under little pressure. The first 20 minutes were all Dogs and it rained goals at the Alan ‘Banana Legs’ Hopkins End.

Balta was getting a bath in defence but he’s hopefully learning heaps. Vlossy was never 100% after QT – he sold Stacky into terrible trouble from a kick-in but the young man has a touch of the Wanganeen rubberlegs and he eluded capture; then shortly after took a remarkable pack mark amongst taller timber. His composure is wonderful. He and Bolton both seem untackle-able.
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The last ten minutes of the term were all Tiges but our shape was all wrong. Our first shot of the term came from Nank. Broad was bobbing up on the edge of 50, he’s never scored a goal in his life. Terrific fellas but something’s amiss when the ball is repeatedly in their hands up the ground, not with say Sheds or Caddy or George. Finally just before half time Stacky delivered to Bachar who got a lucky free for beard-contact, and slotted a desperately needed goal.

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After half time I raised the roof at home when Balta galloped around the boundary to kick a wonderful solo goal. Nank continued to tackle like a 2-metre-tall Maurice Rioli. Dusty was having an influence inside. But the Dogs just looked too tall for us. Dylan Grimes had an off game, which is like saying the last pylon standing had a bad day when London Bridge fell down. Was someone blocking for Naughton so no-one could get a run to spoil? It felt like it. He had a day out.

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As we lost so badly, I think readers will forgive me skipping the last quarter; I thought I’d be able to rewatch but let us just draw a veil over it.

If we’d been playing a front-runner I would be happy to call this a natural tipping point; you can only cover x missing stars and now we have solved for x. There were the early injuries to Rioli and Vlossy, who played on but didn’t look nimble [Ed Richards ran around Vlossy towards the end of the night like he was set in concrete]. BUT – this was the Dogs, who are possibles for the lower end of the 8 at best (from where they can win the flag of course). I think there’s no excuses . Although I’m not bothered by the final margin we should never have let ourselves get that far back.

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The Benny Votes

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5  Stack – never looked flustered, never put a teammate under pressure.

4 Vlastuin – had his hands full and kept trying to play our way

3 Nankervis – up against a giraffe in English he played smart and his tackling was good

2 Baker – is getting more of it every week. A reliable kick for goal and good in traffic.

1 Bolton – also got his hands on it more than he has, his field kicking is sublime

Not too bad: McIntosh, Prestia, Lambert, Martin, Balta

Leaderboard

Edwards 19
Vlastuin 14
Grimes, Lynch 12
Stack 11
Martin 6
Nankervis 5
Ellis, Prestia 4
Cotchin, Broad, Lambert, Houli 3
Ross, Baker 2
Rioli, Bolton 1

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I slept badly on Tuesday night. I was awake at 2.30 and the troubles of the world kept me awake thereafter. I saved the night by getting up at four and writing the last match report. But I felt the lack of sleep after that.

But the next day would be a holiday and that makes everything easier. I got more done at work than I expected to and left in good spirits. My brother, who is a Demons supporter, was going to get there early to save us seats. And my daughter and I would meet outside Jolimont Station.

Even on the five pm train from Eltham I wasn’t the only one going to the footy. Many had had my brother’s idea and were going to get there early to save seats for their mates.

By a bit after six we were all seated in row Y in the Olympic Stand, facing the Punt Road pocket from the MCC members side. I think we were in a similar, but closer, position when we beat the unstoppable Hawthorn in 2015.

I have to say that I’m not the biggest supporter of ANZAC Day, for reasons I won’t go into here. Yet the solemnities are always moving and it’s beautiful to hear a large crowd being silent, with only the gulls’ keening to be heard. And then the silence breaking into a roar before the first bounce, just like the old days. I don’t mind that at all.

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I had hoped to re-watch this match on the telly but as we’ve just moved things aren’t hooked up as they need to be and I have to rely now on my week-old memory of the game. This will test me.

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Riewoldt lost the toss, proving that Shedda should have kept his job. Richmond kicked to the Punt Road End in the first, meaning they were going the other way in the last. But this is no bad omen now – we kicked the same way against the Cats in the Qualifying Final in ’17 and in the GF against the Crows.

Melbourne scored the first two or three goals, the very first a clever, long-range snap from a pack by Lockart, I think. Then Richmond got back into it. Riewoldt and Ellis, I think, got us back into it. Then, when all the attention was on Riewoldt in a marking contest the ball dropped into the arms of Lynch waiting at the back. This is why you have two big forwards. Quarter time scores: Melbourne 4.1.25 to Richmond 3.1.19

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The second was better for Richmond. A long kick dropped in the square and Dusty got it and goaled with no space to work in. From the other end of the ground, where we were, it looked like he’d done the impossible, but it often does. It was one of only two goals kicked in that term. Half-time scores: Richmond 5.4.34 to Melbourne 4.2.26
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The first quarter had been quite a goal-fest, proving that the AFL’s 6-6-6 rule is working like a charm. The rest of the game was more of a drought, proving that it isn’t. It did look in the third term that both teams were out on their feet after the four-day break. In the second quarter, I think, there was a passage of play involving four or five turnovers in a row on the Melbourne forward line. It would have been hilarious except that the scores were close at the time and the usually very-reliable Prestia coughed up the ball last, giving it straight to a Demon who marked and goaled.

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In the third term Stack took a huge mark on the forward flank. It was on the far side of the ground from us and I was watching the big screen at the time. Later, much closer to us, he hit Viney with a perfectly-legal shoulder charge, the ball spilled loose, Richmond gathered and went into attack. Not so many years ago Scotty Turner could knock Essendon players unconscious and I would cheer him on. On this night Stack won the ball and put Viney out of the game and made me wonder if even shoulder-to-shoulder charges should be outlawed too. Still, while we still have the bump, you won’t see a better one than this.

Richmond seemed to do more of the attacking in the third term but Gawn was parked in our forward line and seemed to stop everything. We were in front but I still believed, despite some evidence to the contrary, that inside the dispirited Melbourne team lurked a bunch of highly talented players who were about to explode with a quarter of footy that would leave us floundering in their wake. At the last break I wished we were further in front. Three quarter time scores: Richmond 7.9.51 to Melbourne 5.5.35
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In the last we put the game to bed in a very satisfying manner. We sang the song, but only once, as is the custom now. Then there’s a live interview before we can sing it again. We left during the live interview.

It had been a good win. My brother was very downhearted. Going to the footy with people who barrack for the other team always seems like a good idea the time. At the end of the game though, conversation becomes awkward. I try to say nice things about the Melbourne players but I know it sounds patronising. I try to restrain my joy at Richmond’s win but that feels wrong too. Final scores: Richmond 12.13.85 to Melbourne 6.6.42

It’s always good to beat Melbourne and in some ways, even better to do so when they are not travelling well. The Demons were one of those teams we never beat when we should have. Again and again, in the Wallace and early-Dimma eras, they would derail our season just as it was getting started. But the new Richmond win even when they’re expect to win and this is very satisfying.

The draw has helped us thus far. We played Sydney and Melbourne when they’ve been struggling and we’ve got the Dogs on Saturday who also are not travelling well. On the other hand we’re now coming off a 10-day break and that can be dangerous. I’ll miss this game as I’ll be visiting my Mum in Wodonga. I’m relieved as I really hate going to Docklands, it’s a little bit worse each time.

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Benny Votes [based this week on The Age and Coach’s votes]

I thought it was a good, even performance. Our new players continue to shine. Stack looks very good and Baker is good and quick too. However, from row Y I missed much of the detail of the game and often couldn’t read the players’ numbers.

Vlaustin (5) has been having a good year and the Age gave him best-on-ground which may have been right. Ellis (4) had his best game for a while, I thought, and snuck forward and kicked badly-needed goals. Houli (3) had another good game. The Age also gave votes to Prestia (2), Lambert(1) and Riewoldt. I won’t argue with those with better seats than mine.

Leaderboard

Edwards 19
Grimes, Lynch 12
Vlastuin 10
Martin, Stack 6
Ellis, Prestia 4
Cotchin, Broad, Lambert, Houli 3
Ross, Nankervis 2
Rioli 1

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Sheddda leads and Dusty’s back
We only got to see half of this match and it wasn’t the best half. We had been in Wodonga for Good Friday and had travelled home on Saturday. And we were late home and left for the game not long before the first bounce. The tram was late and slow and it was half-time by the time we got there and found our way in.

But the news to that point was good. Richmond had the better of the Swans in the first quarter and then towelled them up in the second and now led 9.5.59 to 4.2.26. I know that Swans haven’t started the season well but they’re always good, even when they’re not. That is, even in their slumps, a good team lurks waiting to pounce.

We found reasonable seats on the top level near the Swans end of the ground. A good crowd was in and on this balmy autumn night the roof was shut, so it was hot and stuffy. The closed roof at Docklands is a metaphor for the closed mind of the AFL. We have a roof, it must be closed. If we didn’t’ close the roof, how would people know that we could close it if we wanted to?

In finding our seats we had missed most of the half-time horror, the worst of which is Are You Paying Attention? This is a charming segment where people in the crowd are exposed for the sin of not watching the scoreboard and therefore seeing themselves on camera. It’s hilarious. I mean some people go to the footy and don’t watch the big screen at half-time. What on earth can they be doing? Talking to their friends? Sending their mother a text message? Sitting there quietly enjoying themselves? All of these things are crimes, or should be, and are rightfully exposed. “Ownlife” is what this crime was called in Nineteen Eighty Four.

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Then the game restarted and the Swans made a game of it for a while. But the Tigers steadied and increased their lead. Dusty scored a brilliant crumbing goal, coming from nowhere. Lynch had gone for the mark, the ball spilled to ground and Dusty swooped. It’s good to see him kicking goals and smiling again. Another highlight was when Shai Bolton went on a bit of run from the pocket, evaded a tackle or two and then missed with a banana. But it was good to see him have a crack at it.

Another thing I really liked was Edwards talking to the defenders after each of the Swans’ goals. I don’t know if Cotch does this, but it moved me. What a good leader he is.

At the last break Richmond led 11.9.75 to 6.3.39.

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And at the last break there was Cuddle Cam, another abomination. Then the game got going again and Richmond kicked to our end but were outscored two goals to four for the term. I didn’t like the way the Swans were able to move the ball out of defence. Apparently this had been impossible in the first half. There were nervous moments when it looked like the Swans might come back but Richmond would not be rattled. Late in the quarter Castagna marked at about the spot were Dragicevic marked against Adelaide in a close game about 19 years ago. Dragga had missed and we lost. But Castagna went slotted it and we were home and much relieved.

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We sang the song and then Dusty was interviewed and said he’d prepare for Wednesday night’s game by having “a few beers.” Then he said they’d be having “chocky eggs” on Sunday and getting back into it. We left then, before the second rendition of the song. We were exhausted by our travels and by the Docklands experience. We got lost leaving the ground but eventually found the new bit of Collins Street and our tram came straight away. The next day was Sunday and we still had Monday off. We didn’t have to move house or travel anywhere and Richmond had won, again, with so many players out. But after that great win against Port we hardly consider this. We don’t have players missing so much as we just have different players in the team.
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I don’t want to whinge too much about Docklands, but the place stinks. And the way the RFC presents the “match-day experience” will soon lead to zero atmosphere at our games. Even at a game against an interstate team I was struck by how quiet our supporters were. What’s the point of having the most passionate and numerous supporters if you don’t let them make their own noise?

The papers gave Edwards best on ground and I won’t argue with that. Also Martin, Stack, Prestia, Vlaustin [who have got votes] and Caddy [unlucky Josh]. Having missed the first half it was difficult to tell. But our defence stood up well again. Franklin was allowed to kick four goals but nobody else was off the leash.

Now Melbourne, tonight. I actually expect us to win and this is still an odd feeling for a Richmond supporter.

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Benny Votes 

5 Edwards, 4 Martin, 3 Stack, 2 Prestia, 1 Vlastuin

Leaderboard

Edwards 19
Grimes, Lynch 12
Martin, Stack 6
Vlastuin 5
Cotchin, Broad 3
Lambert, Ross, Nankervis, Prestia 2
Rioli 1

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Until those glorious weeks of September 2017, all my generation had ever known was pain. Born in the 1980s, our first memories are generally of the bankrupt club languishing on the bottom of the ladder. We’d go through alternating cycles of mediocrity and irrelevance, with only Richo to brighten our spirits every week. Finals seemed to be the domain of other more competent clubs. But it did not stop me from imagining, from dreaming, from hoping, that one day, the premiers might well be Richmond.

Then it happened, so suddenly, so beautifully. Everything I’d ever dreamed of arrived from nowhere. It took me almost a day to hit me, sitting on the wing of Punt Road Oval, watching the replay, with tears streaming down my cheeks. We’d done it and Richmond were premiers!

As I reflected on the journey of a lifetime, supporting this wonderful club, suddenly a fear struck me. Now that we had reached the promised land, would any of this feel the same again?

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Fast forward eighteen months, and a season that had started with plenty of promise had seemingly collapsed in the blink of an eye through a combination of injury, poor form and suspension. Port’s midfield is actually pretty stacked, I begin to prepare myself for a ten goal plus loss. Wines, Powell-Pepper, Rockliff, Boak. With Ryder and Lycett going in tandem against Nank all afternoon, feeding them. This is going to get messy. Or so I thought.

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I love that we asked Sheds to captain. It’s been such a joy to watch him grow as a person, as a leader, ever since he arrived at Punt Road all those years ago. It took him 13 games before he played in a winning side, and an eye watering 205 before playing in a winning final. Now he’s a premiership player, an All-Australian and forever will now be a captain of the Richmond Football Club.

He wins the toss. Reassuringly for me, watching far away on television, he kicks to the opposite end of the ground to what Cotch did all those years ago. It’s a good omen, I say to myself, trying to reassure myself, even if I have no idea what way the wind might be blowing.

We bravely throw eighteen-year-old debutant Jack Ross into the centre square for the first bounce of the game. We’re rewarded when he wins the first clearance, leading to a mark to Lynch inside 50. He misses, but we look up for this most difficult of challenges. Frustratingly though, Port goal through Brad Ebert on their first foray forward.

The remainder of the first quarter plays out as I expect. Port are on top, although their lead is a modest 8 points. Our effort was commendable, but Port were able to control the ball for most of the quarter and caught us on the counter a couple of times. The highlight of the quarter is unquestionably Noah Balta’s intercept and run through the middle of the ground setting up Josh Caddy’s second goal.

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In the second quarter, we look the Tigers of Old – that is the Tigers of late 2017. Our pressure across the ground is fantastic, and we move the ball quickly and aren’t afraid to smash the ball forward. It feels like a glimpse into our future as well, as Jack Ross dominates the quarter, and has 15 touches to half time. Bolton shows all of his considerable talent. My favourite moment is Ross winning a tough clearance, dishing the ball out Balta, whose 70-metre kick ends up with Bolton in the pocket, who snapped the goal. I certainly hope the three of them play plenty of footy together, we’re all in for a lot of fun over the next few years if that is the case.

The siren rings out to signal half time. I’m proud, every bit as proud as I was during September 2017. We may be behind but the effort has been phenomenal. It had been an impressive half from a young team. I tweet out two words “I believe.” I do. But deep down, I think about all those young Tiger legs out there. Surely, eventually, they will start to fade.

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Port make the initial running in the 3rd quarter, but both Ryder and Ebert miss opportunities to make us pay. Ryder does however nail a shot from outside 50 to extend the margin somewhat. But then, the momentum swings, suddenly and decisively. Thanks to some good work in tight by Higgins and Stack, Rioli is able kick long to Lynch alone inside 50. Lynch runs into an open goal, and is foolishly pushed after he had kicked – a double goal and from nowhere we are in front.

Sydney Stack is next to bob up, getting a skilful crumb and the ball out to Baker, who snapped truly. Just one minute later we’re on the board again through Lynch, snapping a goal after a Higgins shot fell short. Our midfield is suddenly on top and our forward is functioning beautifully.

I can scarcely believe it. We’re dominating the play. We’re 15 points up. I begin to truly believe.

Then it happens.

Kamdyn McIntosh had been good. Under no pressure at half back, he decides to uncharacteristically pass it backwards inside defensive 50. The kick falls short and puts Broad under tremendous pressure, eventually bouncing between his legs. Sam Gray swoops on it and kicks an easily yet undeserved goal. It feels like a significant moment.

Poor Kamdyn. Within 60 seconds, he would again be under pressure, punching a ball out of bounds. He was pinged for delibrate. Another goal ensures. In a blink of an eye, all the work is undone; momentum is back with the Power. I expect them to overrun us now.

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Toby would step up. It’s amazing to think he has only played 51 games in the yellow and black and 63 overall. He already feels to me to be one of the leaders of the club. We need a goal. After a free from a ruck infringement, he goes back. I back him in and he delivers. We have a chance.

Port pull one back just before three quarter time. I still fear for our Tiger cubs’ young legs. But I’m bursting with pride as the players run to the huddle.

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Rioli opened the scoring in the final quarter, following a sensational kick from Menadue. But his gettable set shot missed. A small buffer would be built up after Lynch drew a 50 on the wing and converted his shot from just inside the 50.

Momentum would soon swing again. Balta tackled Drew hard close to the Port goal and was most unfortunate that the ball slipped out just a little to early, and Port were back within a kick. Stack, who’d backed up his sensational debut well, kicked out on the full without any pressure allowing Port a forward 50 entry which they were able to turn into a Wines goal. Port were back in front. It appeared that our brave fight was about to come to an end.

Digging deep, we’re able to snatch the lead back. Some slick hands from Bolton released Lambert who kicks long to Caddy and Lynch. Caddy brought it to ground, Lynch held it up long enough for Caddy to go for a long range soccer effort, it bounced, and bounced and bounced through for a goal! Eight minutes to go and we are ahead.

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Grimes, who had played a quarter for the ages, finally made an error. After yet another spectacular intercept mark, his clearing kick could only find Dan Houston still inside our defensive fifty. Under considerable pressure, he put Port back in front. It’s now going to hurt more, I think to myself, that we got this close.

Almost immediately, hope is restored. We win the clearance; Lynch created the contest and brought the ball to ground. Castagna’s handball finds McIntosh. He’s on the wrong foot. It doesn’t matter. The snap is ugly yet perfect and bounces through the middle. Oh boy, redemption is sweet! Tiges back in front!

There are four minutes to be played out. Agonisingly, the majority of time would be played out in Port’s forward fifty. Fourth gamer Xavier Duursma, who has the chance to break Port out of jail. No doubt with heavy legs, he shoots from not far out, but on an angle. The kick only scrapes through for a behind. We dodge a bullet.

Our lead is just a single point. There is no margin for error. Sheds takes it upon himself to take the kick out. With Vlastuin’s assistance, we get the ball outside 50. But it comes it comes back in once more. Grimes marks. Again. In the last quarter, when the clearances and the inside 50s started to go against us, it was Grimes who held the dam wall up. It had been effort every bit as good as Rance’s against the Swans in 2014. One hundred seconds was all now that separated us from an equally unlikely triumph. I start to count them off in my head.

Jack Ross’s debut had been as impressive as any I’ve seen. He still had a couple of decisive interventions to play. He won the contested ball on half back. His handpass finds Caddy, who belts the ball forward, finding Baker out the back. Lynch had run hard, and was able to mark inside 50. The shot was no certainty, and in fact, all but a mirror image of his shot in the first minute of the game. But Tiger fans across the country would soon rise as one as our new champion slotted his sixth. We were almost home.
40 seconds to go. We just needed to win a clearance and get a clean possession.

Prestia won the clearance, but puts the ball out of bounds. “Deliberate” cries the crowd. The umpire agrees. 32 seconds. Port kick long down the line. Jack Ross brings down a contested mark. We’ll win it now. I’m hit with a wave of adrenaline. We’ve gone to Adelaide, against a pretty good team, without our four best players and without our two best half backs and we’ve done it! After the start to the season we’ve had, it’s bloody sweet. Certainly one of the greatest home and away wins of the Hardwick era.
The siren sounds and a couple of tears roll down my cheeks. It had meant a lot. I’d missed this feeling, of winning against the odds. My heart is full of pride and love. Most importantly, I realise my worries were unfounded. I realise that all those feeling for the club that I love are still there, and will be with me as long as I live.
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Benny Votes 

5- Dylan Grimes – Was a colossus in defence, holding Grey and Westhoff and playing the Rance role taking plenty of intercept marks. One for the ages.

4- Shane Edwards – Took to the captaincy like a duck to water, continuing his excellent form. Was simply brilliant off half back. 

3- Tom Lynch – Six goals. Worked hard. Kicked straight. Took his opportunities. Got us over the line with five goals in the 2^nd half.

2- Jack Ross – Twenty-five possessions, winning the ball on the inside and using it well on outside. Another gem we’ve discovered.

1- Toby Nankervis – I could have given this final vote to about 12 different players, but I chose Nank for his lionhearted effort against two quality rucks.

Leaderboard

Edwards 14
Grimes, Lynch 12
Vlastuin 4
Cotchin, Broad, Stack 3
Lambert, Martin, Ross, Nankervis 2
Rioli 1

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We board the bus. I already feel empty. It is my first live game of the season. Normally, there is a familiar combination of excitement, anxiety and hope. Not this time. Just 16 days previously, we were flag favourites. However, what the footy gods giveth, they can quickly take away. Our shot at redemption has felt mortally wounded ever since Alex Rance.

It is the Capital Tigers annual pilgrimage to the footy. I am fortunate enough to have the means to be a flying tiger, where I am semi-regularly able to get down to Melbourne and other cities to join the tribe and watch my team play. For many of us though, this is our only chance for the year, and despite the odds, and my own feelings, there is a sense of excitement in the air.

Our trips to Sydney over the years have truly been the best of times, and the worst of times. Without question, the highlight was 2014 against the Swans, riding a wave of emotion and with the most unlikely finals births in history in sight, the elation of getting five goals up with fifteen minutes and the tense final quarter, interrupted only by Dustin Martin’s running goal. This single moment remained unrivalled even throughout the 2017 finals as a pure moment of energy, excitement and ecstasy.

On the other hand, the utter despair two years later, when the Swans were 20 goals up at three quarter time. At the time, it seemed an entire generation of Richmond talent had been wasted and the promised land may have well been situated somewhere in Andromeda Galaxy. Little did we know…

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In a post premiership world, it is a little easier to take the fact that we are missing five of arguably our ten best players (Rance, Riewoldt, Caddy, Grimes and Houli) so my expectations are well in check. “I just want to get close to them, to have something to believe in for the rest of the season” I reason.

Nonetheless, within minutes, the season goes from bad to worse. Short, outnumbered deep in defence, courageously makes a contest and holds the ball up, but only to emerge with a distressing elbow injury. What more can go wrong in 2019, I ask myself. (Spoiler alert, plenty).

The refreshing contrast to this is our debutant, Sydney Stack, a player whose very presence on the field represented a significant triumph in itself. An early kick does go out on the full, but it is not long before he has a chance to redeem himself. A 50 metre penalty helps bring the young defender to the edge of what might be possible, and with all the composure in the world, he went back, hit it sweetly and it split the middle. It was a wonderful moment as the players ran from everywhere.

Despite the severe lack of personnel, we are up for the fight, and the effort is good. Rioli, after patchy form in the first two games, slots a brace of goals to announce his return to form, putting us up at quarter time, and despite Short’s injury, the visiting supporters were cautiously optimistic.

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Unfortunately a brain fade from Dusty would start the second quarter, earning him a week’s holiday and costing the Tigers any momentum we would have, gifting the Giants a shot in front of goal. Things would get worse a few minutes later, when Rioli clashed with Phil Davis on the half back flank. Sitting just metres away, the noise it made was horrific and I immediately feared he had cracked a set of ribs. Incredibly, he would return to the ground and would even snag an additional goal – the kid is tough – but clearly he was pushing through the discomfort.

There are bright spots. Tom Lynch, who has a kicking motion better than any player alive who isn’t named Tayla Harris, keeps us in the contest with a couple of goals. Sydney Stack continues to impress down back, both rebounding from defence – no small feat consider he already lost help in this area with Short going down – but with several solid defensive efforts. It is early days, but it appears we have unearthed a gem.

Lynch’s second goal brought us within two goals, but in classic pre-2017 Richmond, we give up a goal on the half-time siren.

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We do our best to hang on during the third. Early on Cotchin disappears; we later discover he is yet another addition to our already lengthy injury list. Lynch keeps us in touch with a couple more goals. GWS stretch our defence and Dimma throws the magnets around, Balta back – he acquits himself well under difficult circumstances – Vlastuin forward and McIntosh is thrown in to ruck at a couple of centre bounces. However, GWS continue to edge away. We enjoy a late quarter run of form, but asides from an opportunistic snap from Lambert, we cannot take advantage and we are unable to get the margin under four goals.

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In the final quarter, it all gets away from us. We are two rotations down, plus Rioli is clearly sore and the intensity of his first game finally, and most understandably, begins to tell on Stack’s young legs. The dam wall breaks and the Giants run rampant, a run of six goals only broken by a piece of Snags Higgins brilliance. Eventually the siren rings out and we have been done by 49 points, and have lost our captain and best rebounding defender. 2019 has not started well.

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We gather our group together and wait for the bus. News of Cotchin’s hamstring filters through. We let out a collective sigh. One of our number is upset, angry at everything from selection, to coaching, to our list management. I think it is a little harsh given we were premiers just over a year ago and the mountain of injuries. Unfortunately the right words fail me, so I let him go, hoping at least he finds it cathartic. Eventually the bus arrives and we quietly pile on for the long journey home.

I myself am not quite sure how to feel just yet. We are only 1W-2L. Just three weeks ago we were flag favourites. West Coast won the flag last year without Naitanui and Gaff. All of our injured players except Rance will be back in a month. I am aware too, that premierships are difficult to win and this disruption makes it harder still. It will help us in the long run to get games into Balta, Garthwaite and Stack, and to try see if we can find some more gems. But I’m finding as each games passes this year, the more I am retreating back to my happy place, those three glorious games of football in September 2017.

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Benny Votes 

5 Shane Edwards – Is it possible he is still improving? A true leader and a well-deserved honour for him to lead the team out next week.
4 Tom Lynch – Worth every cent. Still finding match fitness, but his beautiful straight kicks kept us in it for most of the afternoon.
3 Sydney Stack – Best debut since Dean Polo? Looked great with the ball in hand and stood up defensively as well.
2 Kane Lambert – Battled hard along with Sheds on a day when Cotchin was injured and Dusty did not resemble Dusty.
1 Daniel Rioli – Dan’s back! After two weeks of indifferent form, was back to his brilliant best until slowed down somewhat by that hit. But respect for playing on.

Leaderboard

Edwards 10
Lynch 9
Grimes 7
Vlastuin 4
Cotchin, Broad, Stack 3
Lambert, Martin 2
Rioli, Nankervis  1

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Pre-match

My deepest darkest fear is that this will be a famous Richmond victory and I won’t be there. When I get home after a long, exasperating day my footy companion tells me she is too tired. What sweet relief! I’m too tired too! Now I can stay home and do exciting things like get a load of washing on the line for the warm day tomorrow. And watch the game on telly. I feel bad for not going, but not too bad. Thursday night footy is a joke. Doesn’t the AFL know that some people have to get up early in the morning to go to work?

Before the first bounce dinner is cooked and the washing is finished, if not exactly on the line yet.

Watching the telly I’m glad not to be there.  The atmosphere before Richmond games is electric.  Well, electronic.  With 60 thousand or more in the ground all you can hear is loud music.  We Are The Champions, by Queen.  Queen were a great band, no doubt. But how many of their concerts were ruined by games of football?  It’s a trick question.  None of their concerts were so ruined.  So why is our footy ruined by their song?

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Q1

Richmond start pretty well and have not been destroyed in the first four minutes.  We have the first good chance, a snap from a pack that misses.  And for a good while we’ve doubled the ‘Woods’ score and lead 2-1.

But Collingwood kick away with Cox, of course, and someone else.  Lynch gets a very lucky free kick and splits the big sticks from right in front.  Then the ‘Woods get another goal and look to be doing it easily.  They seem to have good players everywhere, don’t drop a mark and don’t stuff up when I want them to.

Ellis is tackled when well over the boundary line by Varcoe.  Somehow a free kick is not awarded.

Score 20 to 8.

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Q2

Short kicks a goal with a set shot from the pocket but it looks a lot like Riewoldt has broken his wrist.  He’s still on the ground though. 

Castagna has a shot from outside 50 which is picked off easily by the defender.  Then we get another goal and it’s level but too quickly the Woods respond and are seven points in front.  Castagna hits the post from right in front after a great mark in a crowded 50.  The kick to Castagna was from Butler who won a free for a good tackle, which, in the replay, had a touch of the chicken-wing about it.  But not too much.

We keep giving the ball to Collingwood, which is frustrating.

Our defence is standing up well though without Rance.  Vlaustin and Grimes have been great.

Darcy Moore gets a free for a high tackle.  As if.  Should have been a free against and 50 for his bad hair.

De Goey who is terrifyingly good scores and we’re two down.  Defence is good but sooner or later we turn the ball over after all our hard work.

Bloody Treloar scores, after Collingwood surge forward following about two hours of kick-to-kick across the Richmond back-line.  It’s a three- goal lead now.  Riewoldts’ broken wrist appears to have healed.

I take no pleasure in any player being injured.  But Treloar appears to be hurt and I’m not heartbroken.  De Goey takes a screamer because there’s nothing he can’t do and scores from a good way out.

No, there’s nothing worse than being beaten by Collingwood. How did they get so many good players?  Two years ago they were a joke.

Collingwood are getting frees for falling over.

Lynch marks and passes to Higgins.  He has to kick this and he does.  Lead to Collingwood back to three goals.  Could we get it back to two by half time?

Less than two minutes left.

Great centre clearance and Lynch marks.  Great kick from the young feller and it’s down to two goals.

Another before the break?  Another to us, I mean?

With the ball deep in our forward line McIntosh tackles Sidebottom just hard enough for him to drop the ball.  No free kick.  Yes it is! McIntosh tries to give it to Shedda but it looks like McIntosh will have to take it.  It’s a fair way out and almost on the boundary.  But for some reason Shedda is given the ball, goes back and kicks it straight through the big sticks.  The Tiger fans and players go nuts.

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Q3

Collingwood make a nightmare start, Pendlebury sets up an attack and Mayne scores.  Didn’t he used to be at Freo?  How did Collingwood get him?

Collingwood again looking very menacing. Mihocek is beating Vlaustin and Prestia is penalised for dropping a ball he never had.

Broad does well to beat Elliot on the ground and fakes an accidental tap out of bounds.  Vlaustin, having just been written off, does a couple of goal-saving things.

Bloody De Goey has a mark again.  For a small player he gives the ball a fair roost and Collingwood are winning by three again.

The Tigers go forward and Short goals with a quick snap.  The first Ashley & Martin ad of the night.  What a disgrace they are.  How are they even allowed?  My daughter told me once that men spend more money on fighting baldness than they do fighting malaria.

Grimes takes a strong mark in defence.  He’s the best.

Dusty coughs up the footy, but Grimes saves the day again.

Ellis is driven into the ground by bloody Grundy but doesn’t get a free, of course.  Treloar gets a free a second later but again the Collingwood attack is turned back.

Lynch takes a great grab but is denied the mark.  Collingwood attack again, throw the ball and get away with it, but the attack is repelled again.  Dusty marks from close in, kicks a banana, unforgivably, and misses.

Collingwood rebound and score, a two-goal turnover.  Might not be our night.

Edwards kicks off the ground from the ball -up and Lynch marks strongly and goals, despite the twelve-foot Cox being on his mark.

Presty is tackled and gets rid of the pill but is still pinged for “taking too long.”

Treloar takes the ball over the line but isn’t pinged for deliberate. 

De Goey marks and kicks his fourth. How can we beat a team with players like him? Collingwood lead by seven points.

Cox marks not too far out and Collingwood are doing it a bit easily again after Richmond had been on top for a while.  Cox misses easily and maybe we do have a chance?

A chance for the Tiges but Weller is tackled before he can kick and the Woods get a free. 

A huge, rolling mess in the Tiger goalmouth but somehow Higgins emerges triumphant.  He’s a magician.

Treloar has a chance to pull one back and puts it out on the full.  A good minute for Richmond.

Prestia penalised despite having had the ball for a mere fraction of a second and Pendlebury scores and its 18 points again.  Another Ashely &Martin ad.  Despicable, manipulative.  Girls won’t like you if you go bald.  Very subtle.  The ads are so much worse when you’re losing to Collingwood.

Sidebottom drops the footy in front of the Richmond goal just like Presty did a moment ago but no free kick.  We follow footy to learn that life is not fair.

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Q4

Cox kicks a goal before I’m back on the couch and I’m beginning to think we might not do it.  But Markov takes a strong mark and will kick from a 45° angle.  He gives it a good go but misses.  Riewoldt is off, down the tunnel.  His healed wrist might have broken again.

Ellis drives the Tiges into attack and Shedda steams through like a train, gathers and goals and it’s not over yet.

Butler driven into the ground but no free.  What did happen to the push in the back rule?

Collingwood open us up again and De Goey marks but hits the post.  Merely human, after all.

Cox marks the kickout from Ellis.  Damn it all.  We miss Houli tonight, as well as Rance.

Cox gets a point and it’s 18 the difference.

Ellis takes the kick again, getting back on that horse.

Collingwood win it back and De Goey marks again, much closer in this time but misses, doesn’t even go out on the full.  The Richmond attack breaks down a kick from goal.

Collingwood rip us apart on a counterattack and goal and it’s 24 points now.  Hope slipping away.  Maybe we can get one or two back and not lose by so much?  If we could make a game of it against a full-strength Collingwood it would really mean something.

But we have to stop giving the ball away. McIntosh kicks well to an opponent and the ball is marked by Elliot.  Apparently he’s very good, but has been well-held, mostly.  Hits the post from not far out.

Riewoldt is back on the ground.  22 free kicks to nine, Collingwood’s favour.  Why are we surprised?

Short or Vlaustin pinged for a throw.  Even Carey thinks this is unlucky.  Elliot kicks the goal.

Promo for Home and Away, makes me so glad I’ve never watched it.

“Colling-wooood” echoing around the ground.  If only we had thousands for supporters who could sing like that.  We do of course, but they’re not allowed to sing at all.

We’re getting towelled up now.  It’s 31 points.  Grimes down off the ball.  Six minutes to go, please let it go quickly.

Grimes is indestructible and takes a saving mark in defence.

Collingwood awarded a mark that’s a thousand times messier than the one Lynch wasn’t given.

Stevenson marks right in front and it’s getting ugly.

Grimes has lost his mind and in the last minutes, with the game lost, has run at Elliot and elbowed him in the head.  I love Grimes to pieces and I’ve barely seen him give away a free kick before.  Maybe he can plead insanity?  But really, crap like that has to earn him a few weeks.

Collingwood score and it’s 43 points, as bad as the prelim.  Well, it might be, I haven’t the heart to go back and check the score on that one.

So glad I didn’t go.

Eddie “night grand final” McGuire is seen going over to our Peggy. But not for long.

Collingwood have the ball again and it’s going to be 49 points.

But Cox hits the post and it’s only 44.

Thank God it’s over.

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In summary, footy doesn’t get worse than this.  There is nothing so bad as being beaten by Collingwood.  They have far too many good players and the AFL shouldn’t have allowed it.  Their tactic of kicking across the ground and marching the ball up the field seemed to work very well, but was awful to watch.  But it mystified me.  The obvious way to counter such a strategy is to go man-on-man and deny them the easy kick and mark.  We did have 18 on the ground, the same as them, even if our 18 weren’t quite as good as theirs.

Many of our players did well.  Grimes was great, again, before he went insane.  Vlaustin was good too.  I thought Shedda was outstanding, playing mostly in the middle.  His goal to give us hope in the last was a beauty.  Lynch was good too and on a better night would have kicked a bag.  Ellis was pretty strong and didn’t give up.  Generally, our team battled well and I didn’t see heads drop or players turns on each other, which is a good sign.  But the omens aren’t great.  Our heavenly run without injuries is over.  Do you remember we put exactly the same team on the park for each week of the finals in 2017?  And probably for the last few home-and-away rounds as well?  After 37 years of heart-break we deserved some luck, but still.

Collingwood, contrast, have all their players back and they’re all supermen.  De Goey is just ridiculous.  Cox is way over what should be the height limit for footballers and yet can still run, jump and kick.  Adam “diss the list” Treloar is good too, but still doesn’t have a premiership medal.

To make it all better though, Eddie insulted a woman with a disability on Fox Footy on Friday night.  As Douglas Adams said of some-one he’s clearly a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad ones.  I think he would be very well-suited to a job where he didn’t have to talk.

Two easy games coming up, against the Corporate Giants in Sydney and then Port in Adelaide.  Both Saturday twilight games, both on pay TV.  Even if I had time to go and watch these games somewhere, I might have to McGuire’s commentary.  I don’t want this match report to degenerate into a tirade against the Collingwood president…ah, who am I kidding?  That’s exactly what I want.  Anyway, he’s not much of a commentator either, sometimes doesn’t take the trouble to learn the players’ names.

Richmond will plug a few gaps and pinch at least one of these games and will be on an even keel after round four.  Dusty will find his mojo, Houli will heal and the young players will step up.

But footy is not such a great game after you lose to Collingwood.

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Benny Votes by Chris

5 Edwards – played four quarters, his quick hands and accurate kicking kept hope alive.
4 Lynch – our only tall target after Riewoldt broke his wrist early. Took some great grabs and kicked goals nervelessly.
3 Broad – has started the season really strongly. Impressive tank – he is bobbing up all over the ground and seems very hard to shake off.
2 Grimes – wonderful for most of the game but burned badly by his opposite number De Goey late on. Unforgivable brain fade will see him lucky to miss just one game.
1 Nankervis – tried very hard against the athletic Grundy. Lost the hit-outs but used his body intelligently in play, and racked up 4 tackles (one eighth of the team total).

Leaderboard

Grimes 7
Edwards, Lynch,  5
Vlastuin 4
Cotchin, Broad 3
Martin 2
Nankervis 1

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The start of the season is always too early for me. March is the most beautiful month in Melbourne until footy comes along. A Long March, with fine weather and no men’s footy, would suit me fine.

It would suit the AFLW too, of course, and send the best message about the value of their game. We’ll make the men’s season a fraction shorter (our players are always saying it’s too long) and give you some more time and space. Now is the time for the AFL to announce this. Not in ten years’ time. Not next year. Now, after the Tayla Harris’ stand, after the AFL has trashed the women’s game once more.

And while they’re at it, now is the time for Toilet Equality at the ‘G and elsewhere. Make some of the men’s dunnies into women’s until our queues are of equal length. Only then will women and girls know that the AFL takes them seriously.

I digress, but I needed to. The first game doesn’t come out of nowhere. It comes into a glorious month trailing controversies real and contrived. Then the ball is bounced and a flip is switched and it’s on again.

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Our tickets in row Z in the Southern Stand cost us about half a year’s membership, but without them we might not have gotten in at all. As it was we missed Lynch’s first goal. From outside the ground, when we were still lined up, I assumed the roar was for Carlton. There was something about the sound that I didn’t like and it seemed strong at the Punt Road End where, at a Carlton home game, I assumed the crowd to be Blue-ish. But once we were in we learned Richmond had scored first. What did that teach me about tribalism? That, in fact, a crowd’s roar sounds much the same, whatever team it’s for?

We were in our seats when Lynch kicked a goal and were able to deduce, from the way all the Richmond players didn’t mob him, that it wasn’t his first. This was so much better than last year when the Blues killed us in the first quarter and it felt like round 1 at Waverley in 1981 all over again. This was footy the way it should be – a big crowd, Richmond with five goals on the board and Carlton yet to score.

The second quarter was footy as the AFL prefers it – more of a contest, but with the Tigers still in control. Higgins’ goal was the highlight, a quick snap from fair way out on a very tight angle. Has there ever been a player who loved playing so much? His celebrations make me feel young again.

But Carlton had come back a bit and worse was to follow. The third was footy as nightmare. A good lead being whittled away, the Carlton crowd roaring. The lead went down to four goals, to three and then to two. The Richmond defence was under siege. Finally, they forced a turnover and broke away. Dusty tore through the middle, wondering which option to take to set up our much-needed goal. Then he was caught, the Blues fans went nuts, the ball was turned over. He looked very cross with himself. But the counter-counter-attack was thwarted once more.

At a big marking contest Rance went down and play was stopped. We know it’s bad when they actually stop the game. Nobody knew that the problem was. From the scraps of replay we saw he was hurt either in the head or the leg or somewhere in between. All we saw was him falling. And now on the ground, un-moving and the surviving players huddled, discussing life without him.

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This could hardly have been worse. Carlton surging, the lead down to two goals, the quarter barely half over, the best full-back of all time on the deck. But Richmond really stood up then and gave Carlton nothing. It was a desperate end to the quarter but if anything, the break in play had settled the Tigers and all of Carlton’s attacks were blunted.

In the last, order was restored and the Blues were taken apart. What could be better than getting the jump on them early, teasing them in the third and then breaking their spirits in the last? Even after our third goal, with the lead at 28 points and the quarter not half gone, Blues supporters were leaving. This is something I will never comprehend, but I saw Richmond supporters do the same in the prelim last year, so this fickleness infects everyone.
Rance emerged from the tunnel on crutches with a bag of ice on his knee. The crowd roared in appreciation and in sadness.

The best goal of this quarter was Weller’s, a brilliant soccer kick from a good distance out and a similar angle to Higgins’ effort. The lead went out to 40 points before a late consolation goal to the Blues. We could get our breath back before we stood and sang the song.

I could see the smile on Rance’s face which was encouraging. But the way his mates went to him and patted him on the head said “season-ending injury” and so it was.

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Match reports have bemoaned this game as a spectacle. “Objective” writing often does. There were plenty of highlights though. Cotch and Riewoldt each took beautiful marks. Cotch kicked a behind from his but I think Jack split the big sticks. Many too-tall and too-skilful Blues players also took good marks. They have no shortage of good players, despite everyone running them down. I tried to learn their names and numbers but we were so high up in the Southern that we could only read the numbers when play was on our wing, which it often wasn’t.

I don’t know if the rules changes mattered that much. It chokes me to say it, but it did look nice and symmetrical to see everyone lined up, almost like the old days, at the centre bounces. I miss the dinky little kick-to-himself that the full-back had to do to play on. One of those little quirks that the AFL despises and so it had to go.

It looked a lot like the 2017 Richmond – often messy, often scrappy, but from one contest to another the ball herded between the big sticks.
Next week a sickening clash awaits – Book Club to discuss Brideshead Revisited or Richmond v Collingwood?

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Benny Votes

5 Grimes – as always, was great.  Never beaten, always there, always contesting.
4 Vlaustin – was good too. The way the defence stood up after Rance left will be written about for years to come.
3 Cotchin – played a classic good Cotchin game, with a memorable highlight being his mark over his opposing skipper Cripps.
2 Martin – was an important player for us too, even if he was caught a few times.
1 Lynch – great to see the new players get goals in Lynch, Weller and Balta.

Leaderboard

Hi everyone, its Chris here. Time has passed and I still feel gutted about losing the preliminary final to Collingwood. I ignored the first three quarters of the Grand Final, something I have never done before. And to be honest, it was a doozy. But we weren’t there. We were all so certain we would be – maybe we  “got ahead of ourselves” – and I still feel like it’s an opportunity missed, and that casts a shadow back over all our good work and the fun of being the top dogs all through 2018.
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But it was fun. We had fun in the sun as premiers, games clear on top of the ladder, with the reigning Brownlow medallist, coach of the year etc, we won everything but the Cox Plate. This year we got Jack winning the Coleman medal, Snags won the GOTY, and we broke the 36-year McClelland trophy drought. Winning stuff was fun. And that’s my analysis done.

Next year I am handing the baton of The Benny to Brendan O’Reilly whose excellent work you have already enjoyed here from time to time.  Thanks to Brendan for this offer at a time when we thought TTBB might be looking at a year off in 2019. I will continue to chip in photos and graphics and keep adding to the Richmond Virtual Duffle Coat. I am interested in trying to get a public display of the Coat happening somewhere in the Richmond 3121 vicinity so if you have any ideas about that, drop me a line.

Take care in the off season, and bring on 2019.

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Awards

• Congratulations to our great skipper Trent Cotchin who wins his second Benny.
• Josh Caddy had a breakout season and wins the Blair Hartley Appreciation Award for recruits from other clubs. He regularly dominated games playing beside a bloke who won the Coleman.
• Jack Higgins was the only first year player to poll Benny votes so he wins the 2018 Anthony Banik Award. Snags has given us all a lot of fun this year and shaken up the pecking order.
• A combination of a solid season and a lack of fellow lefties, see Toby Nankervis take out this year’s Joel Bowden’s Golden Left Boot. We love you Nank.
• Cal Moore and Liam Baker came off the rookie list this year but did not get votes, so the Tivendale stays in the velvet bag in the drawer.
• Jack Graham had a lot to live up to after his ’17 finals heroics. He never stopped tackling and wins the 2018 Maurice Rioli Grip of Death Trophy

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Full Tallies

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