The Benny

This was the most generally anticipated game in footy since Round 1. Our winning streak was 6, theirs was 7.

The trick for Eastern-states Tigers was how to fill all of Sunday until the 4.40pm first bounce. Here we went down to the rivulet with 200 other people and picked up plastic and polystyrene remnants from the flood a week ago, and that passed the time nicely.

I bought a one-week AFL Live Pass for this special occasion blockbuster. 5 bucks entitled me to an appropriately phone sized picture of the sun-drenched action from Optus Stadium, Perth. Throughout the game below the picture were stats from the completed Blues v Demons massacre. I never did work out how to get the right stats. I watched in front of the fireplace, squeezed up with the 16yo on my right, and the mini iPad balanced on a couple of cushions at eye level.

After Caddy opened the scoring (free kick to Cotch, messy pack mark that I considered 40/60 payable) – it was one way traffic for the rest of the quarter. I reassured myself that we came back from a similar terrible start against Carlton, but then again that was Carlton. Our outstanding players early were Riewoldt and Edwards. Jack was in everything but missed an easy set shot (as did Martin and Grigg). Sheds was a twisting, turning link man, distributing the ball at impossible angles to his direction of movement like the great farnarkler Dave Sorenson. Cotchin marked outside 50 and telegraphed that he wanted to dish off. Jayden Short has form for this but the Eagles were dozing – he arrived through the centre square and pounded it through for our much-needed second goal. Either side of Shorty’s goal Jack Darling kicked majors, to go with Cripps, Gaff, Kennedy and Willie Rioli. Ominous signs, down 37 -15 at QT. But Elliot Yeo was off injured and looking downcast, that could be helpful.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

After the break the ship began righting itself. Sheds opened with an amazing goal. Dusty’s pass into 50 was low and hard like an un-returnable forehand winner down the tramlines. His kicking action was entirely in the horizontal plane. Sheds patted it, tamed it, gathered it and nervelessly straightened up and kicked the goal. Note; he did not draw a man and handpass over the top. He did not head for the pocket so he could checkside it on the run. Suddenly we had the momentum. Nank was taking it up to NicNat. He is such a lovely kick, he delivered it perfectly for Jack to crash the pack and mark. He snuck the kick in, we were 9 points down. Today’s Ruck Chuckles were provided by Martin against Lycett and later Broad against Naitanui.

Jack Darling was paid a mark on the boundary 50 metres out that he controlled practically sitting in a Bunnings chair. His confidence up he approached to kick it checkside, hit the Fat Part Of The Ball™ and it fell into Redden’s hands right in front. It was that sort of day. At the other end our Jack went up for Mark Of The Year an hour early and missed the ball by metres, free kick. Oh we don’t wanna penalise THAT do we?? asked a Fox genius. We were killing them at this point, but still down 44-29. Jack buried Cole in a tackle but was unrewarded. Our entries were frequent, chaotic and unrewarded. Sheds’ hands outstanding, Lloyd spinning through the crowd but no scoreboard progress. 19 inside 50s to 3 for the quarter. The pressure is incredible. With misses and a dodgy rushed behind we creep up to 44-32. Somehow none of this is getting the ball through the big sticks, until the ball flips out of a standing pack at the top of square, and Jack soccers it sweetly through with his left. To be able to think his way through this situation is completely just off the charts in terms of football intelligence yeah OK mate I think he just saw it and kicked it, actually.

25 seconds later Jack made another one. Trying to hook it through as tackled, he changed his mind and managed to just toe it one metre to George who goaled from the square. George (sporting a Tom Libba-ish barnet) had collected Conca’s soccer out of the centre bounce, passed and ran on to get on the end. Best thing he did all day. Nank was working himself to exhaustion. With 12 seconds left he found the ball at his feet and just nudged it away gently like it was a possum in his driveway and he was trying to tell if it was alive. Siren. Scores level. First v second. Capacity crowd booing. How good is footy.

At the time I thought – ‘What a great quarter. Anyone’s game. Yeah bad kicking might bite us later but the momentum’s the thing’. How wrong I was. That quarter was our best chance to put a dent in this mob. Their oversize backline were marking only when we kicked it straight to them, and we did that plenty. For some reason our backline was misfiring and and we avoided that problem by ‘playing off a short pitch’, winning it back across the centre. It was really enjoyable to watch if it was divorced from what came before and after.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

I’ll just go with my notes for the 3rd quarter. The AFL Livepass was starting to struggle along with the Tiges.

Conca goals gets KMac cuddle.

Yeo back from the dead, greatest comeback since Gary Lazarus (Fitzroy 1963-70, 132 games).

James Cripps looks like Once In A Lifetime era David Byrne.

Conca flick to Riewoldt.

Cotch stupid 50, then Edwards. Too far back now.

Short again off a very lucky 50 metre penalty.

Astbury on Kennedy = David & Goliath.

Kelli Underwood – boundary duties only – weird.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

What I didn’t write was we gave up 7 goals to 3 in the premiership term. And just like that we were 28 points in arrears and our old mate momentum was Back In Town. Our Jack was having an incredible game, but their Jack was having his best of his career. Sheds had faded. George wasted opportunities. Butters was invisible and might miss next week for Rioli. I feel for Stengle that Rioli’s return might cost him a chance.

Martin looked to me to have gone back to the 2016 model. Less trust in his mates – which leads to him doing too much. Cotchin was very solid in adversity. Dylan didn’t have a good game but there was a little moment that showed what great spirit he plays the game in. Gave away a free which sparked a melee but gave the Eagle a little tap later – sorry mate.

There’s lots I don’t understand about footy. Example – we concede the ruck to Naitanui. It is 100% guaranteed he is going to tap it to an Eagle midfielder. We don’t even contest therefore we have an extra man. How in heaven’s name did he repeatedly find a man he could tap to, streaming free in the clear?

Seconds before the final siren Butters demonstrated a fault we have shown all year. 35 out right in front, instead of taking the shot he tried to chip it to Jack. Siren. Jack punched it away.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Votes:
5 Riewoldt for a genuine 4-quarter effort. Showed real leadership all day. His first votes for the year, incredible.
4 Nankervis gave NicNat a great contest. His workload is incredible.
3 Edwards was at his very best in the first half.
2 Cotchin was down early, missed shots, was in our best when the game was running against us. 7 tackles.
1 Conca is not everyone’s cup of tea but I can think of heaps of clubs who’d love to have him.

Unlucky: Short, Caddy, Martin

Leaderboard

I spent most of the 90s living overseas – first in Scotland and then Germany. Apparently, the Kangas were good during this period and a bloke called Duck dominated. I didn’t see any of this. My only thoughts regarding North are, first: my Dad follows them – he’s originally from NSW and chose North based on the fact his Dad played League for Canterbury Bankstown, who are also blue and white, second: I can’t remember North ever being any good and third: I never, ever tip North correctly – they win when they should lose and lose when they should win. They were supposed to lose to Richmond, and as a result, I was worried.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q1
The first 10 minutes of the first quarter had me concerned – we were overusing the ball and turning it over with monotonous regularity. While I am big fan of ‘flair’, sometimes the basics work, especially early when the other mob is ‘up for the contest’™. Grimes starts very well and his bullet pass to George brings a big grin to my dial. Man-mountain Majak Daw’s tackle attempt is shrugged off by Towna despite the fact Daw is approximately 37 times his size. Daw is the sort of player who must frustrate the bejesus out of supporters – he has all the physical attributes to dominate footy but always seems to be a half-step behind the play. I really hope he works it out…just not today. Despite our poor use of the pill, we got inside 50 a lot – but don’t capitalise. North were a model of efficiency – by my count they got inside our defensive 50 twice and had kicked 2 straight. We had kicked 3.4.

Quarter-time notes: Dusty unsighted, Cotch starting to get hot, Caddy kicks goals, we need to tighten up on Ben Brown, Cunnington is a machine.
Embed from Getty Images

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q2
Repeat efforts from Cotch (this is standard) leads to Dusty getting the ball, quick flick back to the skipper then onto Lambert – GOAL!!! Best passage of play by a mile and our mid-size speedsters make North’s tall defence look cumbersome. 4.4 to 2.0 – we are starting to get reward for effort and have some breathing space. Simpkin snaps – goal. Atley snaps – goal. 4.4 to 4.0 Breathing space gone. North have 4.0 from 4 shots on goal ffs… Our pressure finally starts to reap rewards: Titch shimmy, onto Cotch, onto Lambert – GOAL!, Caddy takes advantage of a dubious, um, advantage call – GOAL! Jack, set shot from 45 – GOAL! 7.4 to 4.0 North finally miss and each team kicks another goal (Jack) to make the half-time score 8.4.52 to 5.2.32

Half-time notes: Cotch is on fire, ditto Cunnington, Brown marking on the wing – win for us, we have fluffed a few chances through being unselfish – sometimes Route 1 is best, 16 inside-50s for 5.2 hmmm…
I am on iTunes listening to ‘Killing Joke in Dub’ and trying to work out if I like it or if I’m annoyed by it. I saw Killing Joke in Frankfurt in the mid-90s and they were fantastic, Jaz Colman was mental and my ears buzzed for a week. On the tele (muted) Sam Gibson is doing ballet. Early Killing Joke sounds like early Cult – when they were Southern Death Cult. I decide Killing Joke in Dub is annoying.
Embed from Getty Images

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q3
Rance is tackled by Brown, while the ball is in a different postcode – Ball! Nice one ump… North kick the first of the term and edge closer. 8.4 to 6.2 North look like they believe they can beat us. Nank delivers a pinpoint look-away handball – he is a ripper. Titch misses a set shot. Rance, too slow, is tackled and the following passage of play sees the Sherrin sail over the umpire’s hat. 8.5 to 7.2 Our disposals have been poor and were it not for our tackling pressure, we’d be in real trouble. We need Dusty to join in at some stage. Lambert kicks his third. 9.5 to 7.2 I know I shouldn’t, but I’m starting to get annoyed by the number of ticki-touchwood frees the Kangas are receiving. Conca tries to break one too many tackles with the resultant turnover being marked by Brown 30 metres out, D.i.F. (Directly in Front) – Goal! 9.6. to 8.3 Soft free kick to McMillan – Goal! 9.6 to 9.3 The siren goes and Towna has a set shot from about 80 metres. In the background some North-supporting halfwit is hurling abuse at Towna while glancing at himself on the big screen. This bloke is, I’d say, in his late thirties. My suggestion for this clown is to maybe try on some big boy’s pants and grow up a bit, or go back to the kiddies table. What a twerp. Towna’s shot ends up going at right angles and almost into the second tier. Three-quarter time score 9.7.61 to 9.3.57.

Q3 notes: Cotch is a jet, the game was very messy for the last 10 minutes and this suited North, we need to keep up tackling pressure, North have won more contested ball, the last quarter will be stressful, c’mon Dusty!!!
Embed from Getty Images

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q4
Dusty has moved forward. Higgins snaps – Goal!!! Bollocks – it’s Shaun Higgins, not Jack. Kangas in front. 9.7.61 to 10.3.63 Five minutes into the quarter, we have a 50-19 advantage in inside 50 disposals and we’re behind. Jesus. C’mon boys! Dusty finally makes an appearance – kicks to Caddy, great contested grab and goals from 45. 10.7 to 10.3 This is tight. Free kick then 50 to Waite (I have no idea why) Goal! 10.7 to 11.3 The best passage of play for the match – Jack quick hands to Dusty, Dusty tap to Cotch, Cotch – Goal! Unstoppable, classy, imaginative and a real team-lifter. 11.7 to 11.3 Dusty has clearly decided he has had enough of watching, wins a scrap on the wing and hits up Butler, 45m out D.i.F. – Goal! 12.9 to 11.3 Ben Brown has two chances to put North in front and misses both. We dodged a bullet there. The last few minutes are desperate and scrappy. Rance is all class and desperation – winning contests and free kicks as he does what he does week in, week out. The siren goes. We have won. Again. Tiges 12.10.82 – Kangas 11.6.72
End game notes: Our skipper – what a pearler. Cunnington (32 contested possessions!) – who wouldn’t have him? Dusty – good enough to have an impact, despite being in second gear. Bachar backed up into a pack to take a mark – he would not have done this 2 years ago. I was right about the free kicks Tiges 24 – Kangas 33. Sometimes we need to take the shot and not try to handball to someone who is in a marginally better position. Caddy is getting better and better. We won through grit and effort – this is good.
Embed from Getty Images

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Votes:
5 Cotch – easily our best, and if he keeps this up will press for another Brownlow
4 Caddy – kicked 4 and, importantly, kicked them when others couldn’t
3 Lambert – kicked 3 and buzzed around covering enough ground for 2 players
2 Grimes – as fashionable a happy pants, as effective as combat boots
1 Vlastuin – hard as a cat’s head and, for a small defender, took a lot of big defensive marks
Leaderboard

Embed from Getty Images

I have an old friend who’s been following Fremantle FC since the club’s inception. Every time the purple ones traverse the Nullarbor to take on the Tigers at the MCG we meet up and enjoy a pleasant afternoon on the terrace. These excursions have included both occasions where D. Mundy has vanquished the Yellow & Black at the death as well as, from my point of view, some happier contests such as today’s encounter.

Let me preface my report on Tigerish exploits with a couple of Freo-related observations. Firstly, every time I watch big Aaron Sandilands lumbering around the paddock, making everyone else look positively Lilliputian, I find myself wondering about his parents. What kind of creatures could possibly hatch such a man-mountain? I also find myself thinking about a particular photograph by Diane Arbus (see duly bastardised reproduction accompanying this article).

That said, I have to admit that our Nank had about as much success jumping up against the purple giant as might the old folk in Arbus’ picture. Secondly, don’t believe reports that Nat Fyfe was best-on-ground in this game. True, his aerial work was sensational and he won a lot of the pill but, more often than not, his disposal was appalling. In the first half especially we wondered if perhaps he had his left and right boots accidentally laced to the wrong feet. Most of the time the man-bunned one couldn’t kick truly to save himself. In this regard he led his team by example, with Freo players taking it in turns to butcher the ball on a regular basis. My Freo supporting friend had little to cheer about, save for a few passages of fluent play in the third quarter.

When a team manages to kick only four goals in an entire game it’s difficult to weigh up how much this is a product of their own incompetence and how much it reflects the quality of the opposition. Most of the time, Fremantle delivered the ball into their forward line without precision, but the Tiger defenders read the play beautifully and intercepted most of the Freo forward forays with skill and courage. Tall defenders Dylan Grimes, David Astbury and Alex Rance were the best players on the ground in my view, marking everything that came their way and rebounding with alacrity.

Embed from Getty Images

The Tiges were most magnificent when they ran in waves, linking up with well- weighted handball and sharp, diagonal foot passes to move the ball swiftly from one end of the ground to the other. This is the kind of football that makes it difficult to identify best players because so many are doing their bit in the chain. Titch Edwards has always been a master of the magic blink-and-you-miss it handball, but now other Tigers are regularly executing the same manoeuvre. Jack Riewoldt has become a great exponent and many of his teammates are also having a go. (I sometimes feel that we might do a little less of this slick handball routine when we’re close to goal and could we please ‘just-kick-the-bloody-thing’, but perhaps I’m just a bit old-fashioned in this regard.)

The other thing to love about the Yellow & Black in this game was their relentless tackling pressure. I take statistics with a grain of salt, but when a team has so much more of the ball than their opposition and still manages to have almost thirty more tackles then we can take that as a sign of great defensive endeavour. Jack Graham is an amazing tackling machine, but all of his teammates bring great manic endeavour to this aspect of the game.

The video goal review episodes in this game seemed ridiculous to me, with goal umpire’s decisions being overturned on the basis of inconclusive and blurry evidence. Here is another practice from the AFL Office of Stupid Ideas, which works hard to keep us all suitably irritated. (Sigh…)

At the end of the game I’m struck mostly by how weird it feels to be following a team that’s actually REALLY GOOD. I pinch myself and wonder how long this’ll go on for. We have a couple of games coming up against stronger opposition, so I guess we’ll see…

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The Benny:
5 votes: Dylan Grimes – as courageous as always, with fly-paper hands.
4 votes: David Astbury – took fourteen marks! Enough said…
3 votes: Alex Rance – our own Charles Atlas impersonator, but with better hair.
2 votes: Dustin Martin – not his greatest game, but his precision passing by hand and by foot was a wonder to behold.
1 vote: Bachar Houli – responsible for the game’s best cameo moment, spoiling an opposition mark, paddling the ball forward along the wing and then handballing deftly inboard to set up an early goal in our barnstorming final quarter.

Embed from Getty Images

Leaderboard

Embed from Getty Images
I was a few minutes late to the TV and the very first action I saw was George climbing between two Pies to take a ripper of a mark 25 metres out. Then he did something between a Kennedy stutter step and a Running Man and kicked a point. Spectacular, ineffective. This should have been like the Lambert goal in the GWS prelim – an announcement to the effect ‘thanks for coming ladies and gentlemen, this is our game. Please stay and enjoy the minor details’.

Thanks to another magnificent last quarter we did get there in the end. We are outscoring our opposition by 147% in last quarters this year. As @sjross observed it is probably no coincidence we are often up against 21, 20 or 19 fit men at the end. A game against Richmond is no place for the semi-fit, people carrying niggles and under-prepared sides on tight turnarounds. We torched Collingwood in the last term, a team who beat Adelaide a few weeks ago.

A feature of the past week has been everyone with paid positions in the football industry taking turns to agree how terrible footy is now, what can we do to fix it, maybe zones, faster ball-ups, cut teams down to 16. (This is after the previous week when we were handed a night grand final on the basis as far as I could tell that fireworks look pissy in the daytime.) But most Richmond people are basking in the sunshine right now, and the Venn diagram of Tiger Fans / People Who Want To Change Stuff looks like this:

OO

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Embed from Getty Images

Cotch was fantastic. For such a pin-up who never even raises a sweat, he has a delightful nasty streak. Dusty was quiet early and worked his way into it. Caddy looked underdone but still ended with 4 goals. Snags Higgins was lively and got two in a minute thanks to cartoon knucklehead Lynden Dunn. Imagine getting Dunn and Mayne across to your team in one summer. Rance looked off his best when Cox was a real marking target in the first half, but he got better. Astbury and Grimes were great all day, Houli and Short terrific and Broad looked settled and confident. Nank was arguably best afield playing against a much-vaunted ruckman. People oughta vaunt Nank a bit more.

Embed from Getty Images

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

VOTES
5 Nankervis – he had 29 disposals if you don’t mind.
4 Cotchin – he had 29 too, and planted Treloar’s face in the the grass on his way to the bench. Get up son.
3 Grimes – I love him.
2 Houli – I love him too.
1 Short – He will play AFL finals this year in my opinion.
Embed from Getty Images
Leaderboard

A small pre-cursor.
I was invited to the wedding ceremony of my best friend from primary school, just a few days before this match.
I was behaving myself in the gorgeous church, my phone buried deep in my pockets.

I won’t look.

Two blokes in front look at a phone and giggle, but I don’t look.

My fitbit vibrates, excited to share with me its new feature – displaying my texts.

So far so good?

I smile.

Towards the end of the ceremony I catch a glimpse of the phone held by the guy in front, the score reads 58 – 4.

So I watch the replay.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q1

A strange start – Charlie Cameron kicks a goal, the umpire calls it a goal, the review says it’s not a goal. From my couch it sure looked a goal.

Then we get a free and Dusty kicks a point, gets called back to his mark and kicks a goal.

We may be in a universe in which this game both does and does not exist.

Eric Hipwood is high up the ground, still looking like a young Rafa Nadal. I think his hairline is just as doomed as poor Rafa’s too.
This is a missed opportunity for us to be playing baby Nick Kyrgios (Shai Bolton)

Oh look it’s Premiership hero Jack Graham with a nice shepherd, collect and inside 50.

JACK. (we have multiple Jacks now, but there is only one ALL-CAPS JACK)
A Huge pack mark in the goal square and HE goals. Some pretty poor defending by the lion cubs there, and that’s going to become a running theme.

Heh. Cotch in the ruck.

Caddy marks and goals, and gets a clearance at the next bounce, because stuff going to the bench for a rest. This year FoxFooty has little player poses after certain players kick a goal, and in his, Caddy appears to be applauding himself.

Zorko gets penalised for picking up the ball as Ellis lays a messy tackle. Mmm. Questionable free kicks. Delicious.
Ellis works hard to get forward and ends up on the end of it, but the kick isn’t his best.
No double cobra for that one, and we are all poorer for it 😔

Dwayne Russell inexplicably calls George Castagna ‘Cutler’ and despite (or perhaps in spite of?) this disrespect, George slots it on the quarter time siren.


Q2

Oh hey it’s the 2nd quarter and we open it with forward line pressure and a goal to George.

I don’t remember what the Brisbane forward line looks like.

Jack with another set shot and another miss, and even though this is delayed, I swear I can hear my Nan groan affectionately.

Oh hey Brisbane forward line. Hi and goodbye Josh Walker’s hairline.

We are seven minutes into the 2nd quarter and the score is 42 to 3. This is not a great day for the Lions’ pride.

Heh. See what I did there?

Towner and Nick Robertson are wrestling and I agree with the commentators, I would pay to see that.

We are dominant, and it’s looking a bit like a training run, Towner goals after Dusty flexes some muscle.

Nick Dal Santo full of praise for Rafa Hipwood, who is working very hard trying to help out the back line, then getting forward when they actually get the ball.

Ellis, possibly discouraged by his previous set shot, plays on from a mark and gets all in a tangle. Castagna moves give support but misses. We are 1000 points up and yet I’m almost annoyed we’re not winning by more?

Nick Robertson is the Lions best player so far. Funny what happens when you focus a bit more on the ball and less on kneeing Cotch and Dusty in the backside 🤔

Oooh, Bachar has a run and bounce, and George gets a very, very kind free kick. A Brisbane player spoils. Defending!

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Halftime

Nick Dal Santo is interviewing Jack who is halfway through a banana and just wants to sit down. He’s still sharp and funny, because he’s a good lad. 
Our players have been a bit more visible, are we giving the media a bit more access?

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q3



At this point I was driving home from the wedding and flicking between 3aw and MMM. MMM would spend the next 20 mins trying to find out the last (only?) time a team was goalless at 3/4 time and mocking their stats guy when he couldn’t find it immediately. Champagne radio.



A few minutes into the 3rd and George has another goal, and a few uninspiring minutes later Dusty has his fourth. If someone takes a chest mark at the back of a pack, you’re having a bad day. 

But truly, the third quarter belongs to DYLAN GRIMES.

This is a fumbling training run of a quarter, and the highlight is definitely our defensive efforts.
3/4 time is closing in, and suddenly it becomes imperative that we deny Brisbane a goal. We’re mad, all of a sudden, and it’s as though a Lion’s goal would undo everything we’ve worked for. Enter Grimey, in all his glory.

Desperation, say the commentators, as Grimes leaps for the spoil in the goal-square , bounces up from the ground and lays a brilliant tackle on the other Martin, who was absolutely just centimetres from getting a goal.

But the tiger faithful know this man, they’ve been heart in mouth for years as he defies belief time and time again with his ruthless attack on the football.

Desperation is all Dylan Grimes has ever known.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Q4

All you need to know about the 4th quarter is that Dusty kicks goals five and six for the day, the poor lion cubs are witches’ hats and we win by 93 points. It is a comprehensive victory, with Brisbane only allowed to kick two goals. We are so lucky to see this group of defenders do their thing each week.

Smashings are weird.

It all reminds me a bit of losing to Geelong by 157 points.

It’s nice to be on the other side.

In any weather.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

VOTES
5 Trent Cotchin. Our fearless leader is killing it at the moment.
4 Dustin Martin. Jet.
3 Kane Lambert. Putting it all back together after a slowish start.
2 Dave Astbury. Just so happy to see him out there, doing the work and doing it well. #DAAS
1 Jason Castagna. I googled him the other week, but typed George Castagna. True story.

Leaderboard

This was my first time to one of these showcase ANZAC Eve matches. I’m quite leery about sport trying to equate itself to actual war, but am pleased to report it all seemed respectful and not particularly over the top. It is a little odd to be approaching the MCG for a night game, and not seeing the light towers lit up, but the atmosphere was certainly there – especially when proceedings got under way and much of the interior lighting was doused as well.

Embed from Getty Images

This is when I discovered that I don’t actually know where to find the torch on my phone (I have a very hands-off relationship with my phone, clearly) but it certainly looked nice seeing the thousands of lights from everybody else’s. The only problem with the atmospheric lighting, really, was being unable to properly see the members of the Creswick Light Horse taking part in the brief ceremony. They look great on telly though.

Embed from Getty Images

The first quarter seemed like a bit of an arm-wrestle, with Melbourne definitely taking us on. Jack Riewoldt was valiant as per usual, taking a couple of marks under heavy pressure, but unable to convert them into goals. Our backs were likewise valiant, Alex Rance in goal-keeper mode, diving goal-saves included. It was a bit of a relief to go into the break 3 points up.

Embed from Getty Images

My usual good timing mojo was off somehow ‘cos I missed the first 12 minutes of the second quarter by being stuck in a queue, but very satisfyingly found we were another 14 points along by that stage while Melbourne were still stuck where I’d left them. Defensive players again stood out for me – more sliding Rance and David Astbury making sure we went into half time with a comfy 20 point lead.

Embed from Getty Images

Score review early in the third quarter made me realise the wingtips of the Great Southern Stand obscure the screens to both left and right of where I was sitting in Q section. Arcs of metal thrusting precisely over the all-important footage we’re supposed to be scrutinising. Oh well, I’ll just have to trust them.

There was a black patch where Melbourne put on pressure and goals. They knocked our lead down. We clawed it back out again. It was a long quarter.

Early in the final quarter I wondered if it might all end in another arm-wrestle as it started, but then we just blazed away, pulling out 4 goals in a row at one point, and just kept going. I had a moment of sitting back and thinking “How good is Dylan Grimes?” and another of thinking “Trent Cotchin is a magic bastard”, and the final sentence I wrote in my notes says “Putting away notepad now and just enjoying”.

Final score: Melbourne 8-8-56, Richmond 15-12-102

 

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The votes:

5 votes: David Astbury

4 votes: Jack Higgins

3 votes: Sam Lloyd

2 votes: Kane Lambert

1 vote: Kamdyn McIntosh

Leaderboard

I am on foot weaving my way through the back streets of Richmond. The car park is officially full so in order to make it for the first bounce we had little choice but to dump the car in a two hour space and take our chances. I am returning to the ‘G’ for the first time since that wonderful drought breaking day, part of me doesn’t want to go back. Like a holiday destination where the memories are so good, so pure you make a conscious decision to never return for fear of the second time around never living up to the first.

It’s hot, real hot for April in Melbourne. The sun has the same intensity of Prelim Final day… there I go again, referencing the good old days just as my father has done before me. In football terms to be nostalgic is to be in a position of privilege.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

First Quarter

The umpires are not going to go quietly today, they pay two 50 metre penalties that from my vantage point on level two of the southern stand looked questionable. I wish they’d put the bloody whistles away.

The ball is pinging between the arcs, both backlines are super organised with neither team able to make the most of their forward thrusts.

My goodness Shedwards looks dangerous early, the better we have got, the better he has got. The bloke sees things two steps ahead of most others on the ground. I give my sister a nudge, “your boy is looking sharp.” She says she is modelling her game on him. I feel she has a way to go.

Hardwick, of the brown and gold variety, bursts through the centre, only Cotch stands in his way from a shot on goal. His ‘single arm’ tackle effort is so out of character most tiger fans in my neck of the woods turn to each other with furrowed brows. Hardwick misses, no harm is done.

We are handball happy early happy to take any option; a metre handball, a ten metre chipping kick. Our boys surge forward and run in waves but can’t quite find the synchronicity they need for an open avenue to goal. A fellow tiger behind me screams for us to kick it long, I take the bait. “Mate this won us a premiership so just (insert explicative) accept it.” It’s a cagey game at the moment, a chess battle, the two coaches know each other well. I can’t help but think their fingerprints are all over the opening fifteen minutes.

I am pleased with our composure, we are patient and errors by hand, foot or mind don’t seem to reduce our desire to take the game on. This a substantial shift in belief and mindset from so many tiger teams that have come before. For the time being our boys play in a headspace where the fear of failure has been tamed. That makes us a seriously dangerous football team.
Early on everything the bloke wearing the number four turns to gold, from 2017 to today it seems nothing has changed. By quarters end we have five individual goal kickers and a 17 point lead.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Second Quarter

Early on in the second term something remarkable happens, George kicks a goal with his hand. Eventually the review system gets it right and correctly awards us a point but it serves as a moment when you can’t help but question the validity of technology in football.
It’s mid way through the second term and it feels like we are beginning to bust the game open with our spread from the contest. Just as the game begins to open up so too did the sky with the April sun finally working it’s way over the back of the Olympic stand to bath us in sunshine. It was hot, real hot. The only sensible thing to do was begin to the let the Great Northerns flow.

In an immediate response to our scoreboard Poppy from Hawthorn slots a goal. It would become a pattern for the afternoon. Far too often we goaled and gave up an easy one almost immediately.

Enter my favourite passage of play for the game. Dusty chips to George, George on the arc knows the distance is beyond him and handballs back to Dusty. Dusty never gets balanced and his shot on goal comes off Hawthorn hands. The debutant ‘Higgo’ claims the mark, he realises it’s touched, plays on and wheels around to snap the ball truly. He joins the first kick, first goal club and celebrates accordingly, running down the forward pocket with his arms held high over his head. It’s a celebration KB would be proud of. Then true to the pattern of the game Poppy kicked another and cancelled our goal out.

Astbury stops another Hawthorn attack. It’s a moment to recognise how good he has become. With Rance, Vlaustin, Houli and Dave we now have some serious talent in intercepting.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Third Quarter

I bolt back up the southern stand stairs with a beer in hand. I sit down and the umpire slams the sherrin into the turf, my timing was impeccable. My brother in law plonks himself down next to me. He is sporting a 2013 Hawthorn premiership jumper. I am no longer envious of his guernsey I now have the equivalent for myself. In a break in play he leans across. “The tiger fans are getting cheeky, one lady on the way back up told me I would need more beer.” I no longer hope she is right, I feel she is. That is a significant shift.

Early in the third the Hawks are clearly on top, clouds bring some respite from the heat. For the first time I feel a little nervous.

Goals to Riewoldt and Grigg restore order, I scream “C’mon the Premier”, just because I can.

At the 18 minute mark there is an audacious passage of play that represents everything I love about the current incarnation of Richmond. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to go to the tape and find it. It’s a series of flicks, touches and team work that would make the Harlem Globetrotters proud. In line with this style of play Higgo volleys one out of the air to put us 34 point up. He has taken no time to find the pace of the game. In the words of Hardwick, “the recruiting team keep picking them so I have to keep playing them.” It is a wonderful problem to have.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Fourth Quarter

I am confident, so much so I begin to plan my late lunch in Swan St. Hawthorn kick three on the trot and the Hawthorn cheer squad are working overtime. I note their flag policy. It seems at Waverley they have opted to go for size not quantity.

A string of handballs is finished by a Butler back heel. It is surge football at it’s best. It’s another passage of play with deft touches and team cohesion that perfectly reflects the current day Tigers. There is little resemblance to our teams of yesteryear. These Tigers are unique, I smile with pride.

At the 16 minute mark I am frustrated. It seems we still haven’t worked out the Poppy is knee high to a grasshopper. Lloyd rips his head off and Poppy makes us pay. The difference is now 20 points.

The final five minutes is painful, the result felt inevitable but we made it far closer and nervy then it needed to be. The coach said we lacked composure, I thought we had one eye on the clock and put the cue in the rack.

Post match Jack says its best, “this is our cauldron, this is our home ground.” We are now 10 games undefeated at the ‘G’ dating back to round 13 last year. We make the pilgrimage back to Swan St, for some reason it is open to traffic. I thought from last September onwards it got shutdown after every big Tigers win. Maybe next time

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The votes:
5 Cotchin – If there was a coal face he was at it, time and time again on he started the Tiger engine.
4 Conca – Amassed touches, had excellent centre square positioning and some vital centre breaks
3 Edwards – Oozes class, was instrumental early when the game was taking shape.
2 Short – Took the game on early with his run and carry from the back half. This set the tone for others such as Ellis and Houli to do the same as the game wore on.
1 Rance – The bloke is a God. If not for the number four he would be the best I’ve ever seen wear the jumper.
Honourable mentions: Nank and Jack. My goodness they are important to us. They battle manfully every week with very little tall timber to support them. God give them strength.

Leaderboard

By Andrew Hamilton [@Tiggerstales14]

Editor’s note: here is a blast from the past – solid TTBB supporter JD at the footy with son Noah, 2014, from our first season of the ‘new’ TTBB.

And here’s Noah at the G yesterday! Always great to see the TTBB family grow up!

 

	Versus	At	Writer
1	Carlton	MCG	Dugald
2	Adelaide	AO	Chris
3	Hawthorn	MCG	Andrew Hamilton @Tiggerstales14
4	Brisbane	MCG	Lauren‏ @Lozzemarine
5	Melbourne	MCG	Welton D. Marsland
6	Collingwood	MCG	?
7	Fremantle	MCG	Malcolm McKinnon
8	North Melbourne	Docklands	Joe Crawford
9	West Coast	Perth Stadium	?
10	St Kilda	MCG	Ryan @ExiledVictorian
11	Essendon	MCG	Sean Ross
12	Port Adelaide	AO	?
13	Geelong	MCG	?
15	Sydney	Etihad	?
16	Adelaide	MCG	Andrew Hamilton @Tiggerstales14
17	GWS	Sydney Showgrounds	?
18	St Kilda	Etihad	?
19	Collingwood	MCG	?
20	Geelong	MCG	?
21	Gold Coast	Carrara	?
22	Essendon	MCG	?
23	Western Bulldogs	MCG	?

I was at a Japanese restaurant in North Hobart with the largest sake range in Australia – a four page menu. But I could not get a footy score. I texted my wife, Dugald, Joe. Nothing. So I just ate my eel and hoped for the best.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

By the time I got home we were down 77 – 66. And playing pretty badly. I had to wait ages to see us get an uncontested possession. No-one had any run.

Our kicks were never to advantage. To Jack, Towna and Nank along the ground or into space to lumber after. Bolton, Butler and Castagna had it coming down on top of their heads.

Incredibly we snuck back to within 9 points, then Dave Astbury shanked a kick backwards and it was goodnight nurse, thank you linesmen, thank you ball boys.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

I have since gone back and watched the first half. Rance was genuinely beaten by Jenkins early, but never stopped trying, and did get on top in the last quarter.

Conversely Riewoldt was a spark in the first half but looked cooked at the end. The lazy checkside that went OOF suggested either his mind or body was not 100%.

Martin was terrific, really showing off all parts of his game. His five goals kept us ludicrously close considering the rest of the contest was quite one-sided.

In his 200th game Cotch was his usual diligent self, again defensively busy but didn’t get a lot of touches.

Grigg and Houli were invisible and we will rarely win a game where you say that.

Bolton is drifting in and out showing glimpses just as Rioli did. This might not be the year it happens for him but its going to happen.

Conca, McIntosh, Grimes and Lambert all made pretty bad mistakes that are going to be excruciating in video review.

I didn’t enjoy seeing Grimes rag-dolled by the 2nd gamer Fogarty, conceding a goal; and Tex bodied Astbury out too easily.

Towna was quiet but he nailed his set shot as ever, and I loved his five-eighth effort here to set Dusty up for a goal.

I thought Josh Caddy was really impressive. He again kicked three great goals. Just before halftime he shepherded through Dusty’s long bombed goal, then shortly after dished a quick handball to Butler for his (unsuccesful) shot.

Lastly Jayden Short played a very good game, it looked like he belonged, and Shane Edwards put in a shift.

We have to look forward, not back. I can take no consolation in March from beating this team in a more important game 6 months ago. We got comprehensively schooled last night, and they were without Matt Crouch for much of it.

Given their loss last week, the Crows at home always had more to play for than we did. Fear of going 0-2 trumps fear of losing away and going 1-1.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The votes

5 – Martin Four quarters, five goals.

4 – Caddy 3 goals, but unselfish. Poor man’s Josh Kennedy.

3 – Cotchin 9 tackles, repeat efforts.

2 – Short Influential particularly early, hit targets. Composed.

1 – Nankervis Beaten by Jacobs on the stats but offers more IMO. 8 tackles.
▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Leaderboard

Chris turns a few minutes before the game, asks if I can write a match report.
Borrow pen and paper, a season’s notetaking begins.

Q1.
Third goal to them. Is this what they call a ‘premiership hangover’.
“Have we hit a target with a foot pass yet,” asks one in the crowd.
Jarrod Garlett on debut kicks a fourth for them and our party, if not postponed, is delayed.
Wasn’t in the script, now five goals to none.
“When we gonna wake-up?”
Arms are crossed, lips pursed, among Richmond fans.
Jack gets us on the board. In in the push-and-shove, Jacob Townsend fights out of his weight division.
Jason Castagna’s first goal gets us out of our seats.
Dave Astbury (pencil him in for ‘All Australian’) backs into space – a defender’s burden – and our boys are taking no short steps. The game’s intensity is not shirked.
Picking fingernails.
Lovely night for it.
Autumn’s equinox.
Such a fast and expansive contest, this game of ours.
Townsend still has ‘the touch’. Whole careers are built on ‘the touch’.
A Dylan Grimes punch to the boundary line late in the first – all is as it should be.
What are the patches on the back of the Carlton shorts?
“Are you born ambidextrous,” asks a boy sitting with his father in seats behind

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The day after, I posted a tweet.
I’d be encouraged if I were a Blues supporter.*
*the things you say when your team are white hot.^
^not so Richmondy anymore.

Sir James (@JamieVtron62) replied:
I’ve found myself patronising Blues supporters too. So wrong in many ways.

JD (@JD_RFC_TIGER) added:
It was a different sensation being 5 goals down but still feeling we had this.

Sarah Brook (@Brook23Sarah) added:
Ran into an acquaintance on the way out wearing a Blues scarf – had to put on my magnanimous hat – an uncommon experience!

Jack Soward (@jacksoward) added:
I was uncomfortably comfortable. I laughed when we fell 5 goals behind just at the combination of free kicks / a bit of luck / Blues taking chances. I could tell we missed Houli, Prestia and co. but never felt like we would lose. 2018 is so strange!

 

 

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The votes

This season like no other begins as last year ended. With utter belief and confidence.

5 Dustin Martin – picked-up where he left off. Complacency? Nup.

4 Trent Cotchin – seven first-quarter possessions. Still hungry? Yep.

3 Jack Graham – thirteen tackles. Six AFL games for Richmond, how many has he won? All of them.

2 Alex Rance – because he is Alex Rance. Who is he? Alex Rance.

1 Jacob Townsend – votes could have gone to Jack, Kamdyn, Dan Butler, Josh Caddy, Castagna, almost anybody, but one of the night’s highlights (apart from seeing Reece Conca back in it, and Shai Bolton’s standing leap) was the hard-at-it intensity of this bloke. Four goals caught the eye, but it was also him crashing into the contest, knocking blokes out of the way, opening spaces for others to run into. The fairytale continues.
▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Leaderboard