The Benny

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We did not smash our way into September, we did not barnstorm … we cruised our way into September. Over the last month we collected the 4 points without too many thrills or spills. Injured players recuperated, we stayed on top of the ladder. There was no change to the season’s starting proposition – Richmond are the best team in it. This was unfortunate for journos, who have to work hard to try to spin a grander narrative.

I only made it to one roster match this year – the first. At quarter time of round one I thought, oh boy, Brendan Bolton’s boys are going to scare some good sides this year. But it was not to be – we went in radically different directions after that. That Sliding Doors bloke has probably done a really smart episode about it.

For New Richmond’s 4th final Marcus and I settled in to watch in the spare room, decorated for the occasion. Ellis dropped! Didn’t quite see that coming.

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Q1

Such an intense beginning. I love footy like this, a mad scramble with intense desire for the ball trumping systems and even skills. The great thing is it is widely available in September all over the country.

Richmond were on top of the Hawks and dominated the quarter. One of our many forward thrusts fell into George’s hands and he, presented with many options, chose very well, chipping it across to Kam McIntosh. Immediately after this kick I saw Sheds coaching Dan Rioli who was fully tuned in to the voice of experience. Shortly afterwards Dan crumbed a ball at his ankles and scored an opportunistic goal.

We were killing ’em really. The one shot they earned was shanked badly by one of their leaders, Burgoyne. Our composure was superior but we gave away a couple of 50s which resulted in goals, keeping Hawthorn in the game. They started to show glimmers of fight late in the quarter.

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Q2

Again it was our quarter early before Hawthorn gave themselves some hope late. Nank marked and the TV producer clearly knew what would come next although the Hawks didn’t. He dished to Shorty who missed. A fight broke out and the same TV producer decided to focus on that while the game went on in a little window. Now listen old mate. This is a final at the MCG with everything to play for. This isn’t a dead rubber at Metricon in the Sunday graveyard shift. If you must show the fight you pop THAT in the window while we watch the game.

Breust missed a soda and any small apprehension I had felt melted away. Shortly after that Dusty thumped a wonder goal from the boundary; we are doing the impossible while they are stuffing up the probable. Wonderful to see Kamdyn hit the scoreboard and he seemed to be bobbing up everywhere.

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Dusty threaded the needle on the boundary to find Prestia. Mitchell seemed to have gone quiet. Our best in the first half are Dusty, Sheds, Rance, Cotchin, Kamdyn and George. Our backline was impenetrable. I called the game for us at half time.

Q3

Kamdyn in defence took another great stopping mark then set off on a brave run that came off. So many of our next tier are playing with boundless confidence. Moments later up the other end he nailed his third. Our defensive marks are winning this game. They can’t get an inside 50 for love or money. Grimes is having a great quarter as Rance did in the first. Astbury is quiet. Dion goals again – ours are just coming so easy compared to theirs. Rioli goals. We are simply too good for this mob. They fell into the top 4 and we owned top spot, and it looks like it. You’ll have to do better than this, rest-of-the-AFL.

Now Higgins goals. The Hawks have 5 majors – we are just crushing them with pressure. Edwards magnificent. It’s like we are playing a different game. Never in my life (apart from 2nd half of 2017 GF) have I felt so confident that Richmond is on its way to a flag. As Joe suggested last week, Dusty was playing August footy in August and now he’s unveiled his September footy, and its something to behold. Congratulations on your 200th, to the best player going around at the moment and probably one of the all-time greats.

Q4

Dusty the Great went quiet later in that term. Hawks inexperienced players have not stood up, some senior players have had mares (Gunston, Breust) and Clarkson has not fired a shot. Nankervis is such a key for us – thank you baby Jesus and the Blessed Oliver Plunkett for looking after him these last two years. Nank just does his job, it’s as simple as that. And we love him for it.

Sheds tries a few cute moves in this quarter that don’t come off. Riewoldt and Rance both have ankle/foot scares. At the end the vice captains come off arm in arm, sore feet forgotten for now, with a week off to sort them out. There’s Rachel Hofton in the cheer squad!

Oh we’re from Tigerland. What do you mean I have to go to work tomorrow?
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Benny Votes
5 Dusty – Just majestic
4 Prestia – Gained 626 metres for the night
3 McIntosh – Was everywhere, career-high 3 goals
2 Cotchin – 26 touches, was consistent all night
1 Rioli – Moments of genius

Leaderboard

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Firstly, apologies to Chris, who single-handedly keeps TigerTiger up and running, for the lateness of this report – no excuses. I have given myself an uppercut, although I have subsequently been told I have the ‘full support of the board’.

Tiges versus Dogs was always going to be a hiding to nothing for the Tiges: win easily and it was because the Dogs had racked their collective cue, win averagely and we were getting ahead of ourselves, lose and we were suffering a Premiership hangover and limping into the finals. In any case, we had 1st sewn up – for the first time since 1982 – ergo, happy days.

My wife, Jill, is a Bulldogs supporter, so we sat down to watch the match together (on opposite ends of the couch) – me hoping we would suffer zero injuries, Jill hoping the Dogs could finish off their late-season resurgence with a competitive game against the reigning Premier – that’s us by the way…

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As it panned out, we both got what we wanted although Jill was less than thrilled that her Scraggers couldn’t finish the job, especially as they had been the better side for most of the match. Jack kicked his 600th and finished with 5 for the night – a great return considering he had the tenacious Dale Morris attached to him with a bungee-cord for most of the night – and in the process put himself in the driver’s seat to win a third Coleman Medal.

As far as the game went, yes, it was close but as a game it really wasn’t much. The Dogs tried really hard and nearly won, we did as much as we could to win without risking a bruise of any sort. The stats don’t lie: we lost the clearances, tackles, contested possessions and, this will surprise no-one, the free-kick count. In fact, we lost the free-kick count 10-20. 10-20!!! FFS. Every footy follower bemoans how poorly the umpires treat their team, but I can say in all honesty: we are being shafted by the maggots. I mentioned this fact during the game and my comment was met with disbelief from the other end of the couch – ‘All the frees have been there, we’re just going in harder.’ I tried a couple more times to get some sympathy from Jill but was met with rolling eyes and a request for a larger couch. I gave up.

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On the Bulldogs front, if they ever get sick of Jack McCrae, he’s more than welcome at Punt Road – he is a jet. And if there is ever a TigerTiger award for Best Ranga from Another Club, Ed Richards would be the shortest-priced favourite since Cam McIntosh won the AFL Player Who Looks Most Like a Pensioner award.

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In summary: we did enough to win, we will go into the finals with an almost perfectly healthy list and we’re a reasonable chance to go back-to-back. If anyone had told us this 2 years ago we would have told them, in the words of Darryl Kerrigan, ‘you’re dreamin’.

Go Tiges.

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Benny Votes
5 Jack – 5 in a tight game, used his work-rate to get on top of Morris as the game progressed
4 Nank – clearly won the ruck contest and covers as much ground as most mid-fielders – is pivotal to our success
3 Graham – very pleasing to see his form after returning from his shoulder – 8 tackles
2 Dusty – has plenty more gears to work through once the finals begin
1 Titch – he is like Shaun Burgoyne, only better

Leaderboard

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It’s ironic that as Richmond barrels towards a likely 2nd successive grand final, TTBB is sputtering uphill on bald tires with practically nothing left in the tank. This is not a plea for financial support – we don’t cost much to run and that’s covered by our merch sales (thank you to everyone who has bought a little piece of Tiger Tiger for themselves). Spare time for blogging has been hard to come by of late, and even organising contributors takes time and energy. But the end is in sight!

To business – our unimpressive but competent dispatch of Essendon in round 22, about three weeks ago. We looked too good for most of the night but gave up the last 4 goals of the game. We went in without Cotch, Lambert, Prestia or Astbury, but brought back Nank and sent Ivan II back to the VFL.
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More was probably written about a handshake at the coin toss than was written about the match. Such as by the self-satirising Andrew Bolt. I don’t know Adam Saad very well but I do know Bachar Houli is a great Australian and if more like him are keen to come here, I will bake them a halal cake.

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Q1: Loved Grimes attack on the ball to dead-heat Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti. And George’s one-two dance move for our third goal.

Q2: Our quarter but we lost our way in front of goal, kicking 1.6. A chain of passes out of deep defence ending with Bachar in the forward pocket was sublime. And Caddy marking on the point post while Goddard was busy pointing.

Q3: A frustrating night for stand-in skipper Jack although/because Josh Caddy just kept judging the pack marks better. Bruce McAvaney said “Caddy” like he was singing a death metal song about golf. Young Baker kicked his first.

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Q4: Cale Hooker who is a 7/10 footballer briefly looked like a 9 and Essendon gave their long-suffering faithful a bit of sunshine. We switched into cottonwool mode and coughed up some cheapies. Not Dan Rioli though, his late tackle on Adam Saad saved a few blushes. As Dimma said “It was a terrible game of footy, but I was happy with the win”.

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Benny Votes

With only the highlights clip as a refresher on the game, I am once again giving the Benny votes out just as the best players were listed in the AFL match report.

5 Martin
4 Caddy
3 Rance
2 Short
1 Edwards

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[This match report came to TTBB headquarters by satellite from the MCG via Pluto, hence the delay.]
Jottings from the Ponsford Stand 
Q1
‘We’re the pride of South Australia…’ Adelaide enter the MCG, the crowd is eerily flat. The media have the game billed as the Grand Final rematch. They are right I suppose, the two clubs that did battle on that glorious September afternoon last year will lock horns at the ‘G’ for the first time since. However, truth is the teams are quite different, we have four players running around tonight that didn’t play in the Grand Final whilst Adelaide eight. Nevertheless, when the two Grand Finalists from the year prior play it is never just another game.

The jungle drums are beating and it’s our turn to burst through the crepe paper.

‘Oh we’re from Tigerland…’ at this point I half expected the Adelaide players, led by Tex, to crawl up in the foetal position such has being the fanfare associated with the Crows infamous camp. The team bus, blindfolds, our club song on repeat. Whatever went down the players clearly didn’t take to it.

I flick through my twitter feed. I smile in approval. A video clips shows the boys walking out of the race and Grimesy taking the emergency phone off the wall and handing it to Rioli, “it’s for you mate”. This group seemed to have captured that illusive balance between fun and business. Long may it continue.

Rascal of the week…gold by Dylan Grimes just before running out! #AFLTigersCrows @7AFL @BobMurphy02 pic.twitter.com/0xzgddm0Nw

— Tamara Hyett (@tamhyett) July 6, 2018

For the first ten minutes of the opening quarter we bomb the ball into our forward line and Adelaide’s tall timber pick off the intercepts. We haven’t scored and don’t really look likely to. The Crows have yielded the first six inside 50’s and have four shots on goal to show for it, they look up for the fight. Sometimes I think we could put the ball to grass far more than we currently elect to, it would suit our mosquito fleet and give Jack a break from having to smash packs. I murmur under my breath, “Gee whiz boys putting it on Butler’s head isn’t going to get us anywhere”.

Moore, who alongside Corey Ellis is one of our ‘ins’ for the night, has started well. He has got on his bike and embraced the open spaces of the ‘G’. It’s a positive sign, I can’t help but notice his speed, for a bloke of his size, that could really set him apart. He looks a player.

A chiselling ball from Meatball finds Jack and 19 minutes in we have our first, moments later Rioli goals and finally we are on our way.

By quarters end the game was an arm wrestle with the ball pinging between the two arcs, which suited Broady who was doing as he pleased racking up intercepts marks and kicks at will. A player in the tricolours hadn’t gone near him, he had 11 possessions and should the trend continue he was on target for a 40 possession game.

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Q2
Dusty gets caught holding the ball, I swear he busted every one of those attempts in 2017. I can’t help but feel he is going to be crucified by his own standards such was the level he played at last year. There may never be another year like it. Early on our minds are working faster than our hand eye co ordination with all those little ‘flick on’ passes and deft touches not quite coming off with the bloke on the receiving half a step or second too late to respond.

Early in the second Rioli looks inspired. He is such a pleasure to watch. A Nank tackle on Jenkins results in a holding the ball decision. First gamer Moore takes the opportunity to play on and goals. A fellow Tiger in the crowd still isn’t pleased “We hate a set shot at Richmond”. She has a point, in 2018 we have tended to avoid taking responsibility in front of goal more than I would like.

A security guard strolls past me and heads to the front row. He asks a fan to pull his scarf back from over the fence. I miss the days of banners dangling from every stadium tier and cut up phone books filling the skies and goal squares. There is no doubt that some of the colour has definitely gone out of the game.

A Caddy goal puts us two goals up and the contrast in game style is obvious. Adelaide are dominating the skies and we are loving the ground ball. Shorty kicks another to push the margin beyond 3 goals. The man has become a seriously important cog in the Richmond machine.
I see it coming straight for me. I jump to my feet and shuffle to my left, the two seats alongside me are vacant. I brace myself and let the momentum come to me. I clasp both hands around it and squeeze. Just as I thought it was secure it bobbles it. How the bloody hell did that happen? I did everything right. I pick up the footy and boot it back onto the turf. The ball felt distinctly flat.

Jenkins had responded with an Adelaide goal roosting it right into level 2 of the Ponsford Stand and, flat footy or not, I had dropped the perfect crowd mark. I was filthy.
By half time Tex had accumulated 3 touches, the footy Gods were with us.

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Q3
If you ever get a chance to watch a replay of tonight’s game cast the clock back to the 8 minute mark of the third quarter. It is quintessential 2017-2018 Richmond. Relentless pressure followed by all out ‘line busting’ offence that leaves the opposition gasping for air. Though truth be told hopefully by seasons end there will be little reason to go back to this game with bigger fish to fry and bigger stakes at play.

Shedder dominates the premiership quarter, a term that has new meaning when we are playing Adelaide. I spend three quarter time contemplating how good it would be to play football like him.
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Q4.
With the result in the book I put my notepad away and cheer my heart out. The win is capped off by Tex butchering a certain goal by bowling over his teammate 15 metres out from goal, turning a 2 on 1 for Adelaide into 0 v 1 in our favour. The crowd are in raptures and right on cue a bloke a few rows back who had been strong on the sledge all game chimes in. “Don’t you remember the bus Tex? the song? you know…the last tour. It’s coming again Tex, you’re gonna hear it”. He had saved his best for last, the siren went, the song blared out and it was sweet seventeen in a row at the ‘G’.
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The Votes [these unfortunately arrived too late to count – my very different votes can be seen here]
5 Shane Edwards – Shedder by name shedder by nature
4 Broady – did as he pleased until a facial injury ended his night early
3 Prestia – everything he touched turned to gold
2 Lambert – a running machine, the way he sustains top speed when collecting a ground ball is a sight to behold
1 Short – that leg…that glorious right leg
Until we share again,
Andrew Hamilton @_tigertime

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So it’s Wednesday night, I am writing a match report and the only thing I can remember about the Gold Coast game is Jack kicked ten. OK – I am prepared to say up front this one will be phoned in. I’ll watch the highlights again but that’s it. Very much feel we have bigger fish to fry.

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Q1

Fantastic Little Ivan soccer assist to Jack Riewoldt then

Silky hands of Dan Rioli stream out of the centre and a little chip to Jack Riewoldt 45 out and

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Q2

Little Ivan hands it to Josh Caddy who salutes with a lovely shot from an angle. Sorry Josh, no graphic for you.
Then a long kick finds Grigga who outsmarts a hapless golden coastal, flips it to Ellis via – Vlossy? – and Brando spots up Jack Riewoldt.

Suns jag one, Dusty Kicks Across His Body™ to Caddy for his second, followed soon by this 3rd with help from Jacks Higgins and and Riewoldt. At half time JR has 5, with Caddy and Gold Coast both on 3. It’s reasonably tight.

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Q3

Martin -> Riewoldt and he could have notched his sixth but instead lobbed it to Joshua ‘Cadds’ Caddy who now has 4.

Steven May and Pearce Hanley are both footballers but in the next few minutes they look like prize numpties, and thanks to them we get a) a rare goal to Brando and then from tight on the left boundary another …

200-game Milestone Man™ Shane Edwards gives the worst handpass of his career, but with no pressure being exerted anywhere, Dan Rioli goes and fetches it, hands it back and Shane underkicks a feeble little effort that nevertheless brings up two flags. It’s more than a cakewalk, it’s a potato cake walk.

Bachar looks from these snippets to have been moving well, he cruised through the centre and delivered precisely to the Riewoldt breadbasket area. Hard to tell from the abbreviated highlights if he got 50 or not but anyway with little trouble he notched another…

Right down the spine Prestia (hammy looking fine) finds Lambert (ankle looking fine at this point) who pivots and hits the man the French call Le Jaques Magnifique. One more…

Caddy and Vlastuin also scored in that quarter but didn’t feature in the highlights, sorry.

Scorecheck at 3QT: Jack with 8 goals has pulled away and left Caddy (4) and Gold Coast Football Club (3) squabbling over silver.

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Q4

Callum Ah Chee took a speccy, fair dos to him. Great ride on Astbury. Ellis kicked his second (even more rare). Just to show I did do a tiny bit of work for this, here are some people who played alongside Brando last time he kicked two; Orren Stephenson, Brett O’Hanlon and Aaron Bloody Edwards. Round 10, 2013. And have a guess who kicked 11 that day? Go on. Have a guess.

Classic outside of the boot goal to Dusty. Jack H marks, shows the ball and pops it over the top to Jack R who is giving S May an ocean-sized bath.

The team the Chinese know as 冷吐司 actually put a few things together in this quarter and nearly double their 3QT score, frankly running all over Josh Caddy.

With seconds to go the Tiges win possession on the back of the square then carry it bucket brigade-style to Jack Higgins who shovels a handpass on the bounce to the waiting dual Coleman Medallist who hoists his tenth.

So that’s Riewoldt 10, Gold Coast Football Club’s 22 players 7, Josh Caddy 4. Hard luck Josh, maybe you’ll get a priority pick or something.

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Benny Votes

I am just going by the AFL match report here, so let me know in the comments if someone has been robbed blind.

5 Riewoldt – not much more needs saying. I really hope he can put the Bombers and the Dogs to the sword and collect another Coleman.
4 Caddy – has just passed Nank in the Hartley (see below). It’s a measure of how bloody well so many of our blokes are going that he gets hardly any press.
3 Martin – point this fellow at September and light the blue touch paper.
2 Lambert – Hope he gets over his ankle op quick smart. A required player for us to be us.
1 Short – Would not have been my pick in March as the bolter of the year but clearly is.

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Leaderboard

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First and away
It’s interesting on the night to see the Cats kick away to an early lead, because you know this team has the ability to settle, control tempo and then accelerate when needed. Without a worry.

And it was Cap Cotch who lead the charge, literally. His pickup and dash on the corner of the square, then second effort following the ball upfield for another tackle was a sign that he was switched on, and that we would be too. Those efforts lead to Jack kicking the first. From the restart we snag another, and again it’s the Captain. A few minutes later, our third via a Jack flick over the head. This team. Seriously.

Letting Geelong get some space in the corridor late in the period was not good, and a sign of the play to come. So too letting them get the ball to Dangerfield when they’re struggling.

Despite all the gloom and doom about the look of the game and it needing fixing, we are a very entertaining footy team. How can you not love the run and chase of George when he took on two Cats from the back of the square and forced the ball to the forward 50? Hilarious to show up the Cats with speed and pressure. And Rioli and Shane were very creative with the ball as well.

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Steady second
“Kick not his best though” – BT summing up the Clangerfield cameos for the night. Not quite to QF level though. His hand skills also suffered and the only reason would be from our pressure.

Nank had a great quarter, with a sneaky goal after a goal saving mark a few minute earlier. And when he was off, well – we were exposed a bit.
Speaking of exposing, Titch went up a notch and had the best of the quarter, and Connor also had a few moments. Unfortunately for Connor, there were a few the other way too. Good to also see Rance play all over ‘the best key forward’. Played him completely.

A few more runs from the Cats through the corridor end up in goals… not good and no improvement from the first quarter there.

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On song in the PQ
George scored a steal and a goal early, plus some great pressure… all great George efforts, delivering the first 2 goals for us.
Shedda has a wonderful kicking style, and his vision, and that steal later ! Another long period where we were dominating the game, but the problem was that scoring was hard. Sharing the ball is great but sometimes it was overshared. Another thread of our play to be tightened up before the final.

Corridor Cats… again. Tigers oversharing again. Lloyd and Lambert could have goaled. But at least Towner did… too messy though.

Do like it when Nank gets grumpy and exerts himself. Yeah sure there should have been a free kick, but other physicality from him was great.

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Getting it done
When in doubt, go to Dangerfield… and they did, and they did again.

Its only when you see Selwood live that you can really see exactly what he does in tight and extracting free kicks.

Good to see Selwood and Danger handballing their teammates into trouble too. They looked better than we did in the last quarter, but we also did enough when needed, a 7-point play with Josh and Jack, Lloyd bobbing up for a goal, and then later his defensive effort with those tackles on Tuohy and Henderson.

And gain through the middle Geelong scored. All our good work sending them wide was then undone by open corridors.
Speaking of defensive efforts, Kamdyn, Grimes, Grigg, and Dave… all did real well in the last period.
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To The Benny’s…
So hard to give out the votes to individuals when a solid team effort is the feature of this team.
5 Brilliant early was the Captain, and powering the engine room all game.
4 You could notice when he wasn’t there, and a marked improvement when he was. Is running Nank solo starting to be exploited?
3 Mr Creativity shone all night. Loved Titch‘s game.
2 A welcome return to the George we all know he can be.
1 Jack kicked a modern day bag and presented all night. What a Tiger great

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Leaderboard

I met up with Tiger neighbours Adrian and Sophie at the pub to watch this one. The Dr Syntax Hotel is the spiritual home of the late lamented Sandy Bay Football Club. (It has carried this name since the 1890s and I think it’s named for a racehorse).

That’s Kam McIntosh at far right.

Things got off to a flyer when the barman shouted me my first beer because he liked my Maurice Rioli shirt. He wants to get a framed Rioli print to complement all the SBFC Seagulls memorabilia.

The Seagulls 77 premiership side line up behind captain-coach, former Tiger Paul Sproule. 8th in line is 1980 Richmond premiership player Stephen Mount.

Adrian and Sophie were coming from an auction. They bought some chairs and were very keen on a display cabinet but Adrian tipped that the bidding process would cost him the whole first quarter of the footy – so they so withdrew. There were about a dozen Pies at the pub outnumbering a handful of Tigers, and all of us toey as a Roman sandal.

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1st Q
When George opened the scoring from a set shot you could feel 100,000 Tigers across the land breathe easier – his yips have been a concern. George marked outside 50 and handed off to Shorty who bombed it from all of 60. All Pies would have turned to Varcoe and said “your man – don’t let this happen again”. It did, 90 seconds later, this time the assist came from debutant Liam Baker. The young man had a great chance to kick his first minutes later, and dragged it left. Towner chased a ball into the right forward pocket and honestly looked as slow as a wet week. In the pub an 80 year old in a flat cap crossed slowly in front of the TV on his way to the pub TAB and I wasn’t the only one who said “Towner”.

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2nd Q
A highlight was a magnificent Dusty kick to Jack’s advantage. to mark and goal. Dusty started slow under Greenwood’s thumb but was now wriggling out. He kicked goals either side of half time.

The Grimes and Broad chase on Stephenson got the pub on its feet. The Pie wrong-footed Broad and then steamed away from him, to the delight fo the black and white. Ran and bounced three times. Grimes enters the frame before the second bounce and mows down first his teammate (“F&%$ off out of the way Broady!”) and then the opponent, getting just enough pressure on the kick that it’s OOF. Magnificent football, first-class comedy. This was the Pies’ quarter though. Grundy dominating.

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3rd Q
What is Jack Higgins? Really? He’s leapfrogged Stengel and Bolton into this side, he’s held his place in that midfield even when he wasn’t kicking goals, and now he kicked the greatest snag of the year. There are about eleven different kinds of great goals and it’s hard to compare the Buddy 55m set shot inside out working back post high to the 6-bounces-3-dummies Mick McGuane type, but I think Higgins just invented a new kind.
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We are holding them at bay. George gets on the end of a chain following Manic Richmond Pressure™ in the centre, especially from Cotch. He’s maybe our best but the three BOG are all Pies – Grundy, Thomas and Pendlebury. We go to the last change just four points up and at our table we are leaning heavily on the Tiges Great Last Quarter habit to kick in.

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4th Q
It’s a Great Last Quarter. 1 minute in Jack takes a pack mark and converts. 2 mins in Jack outpoints Moore and Edwards crumbs, has possession for 0.001 seconds and hands to Towner who goals. 5 mins in Dusty is left one-out with Greenwood – and predictably goals with Greenwood on the ground flapping about like a fish. Edwards and Rioli pile on the pain. It’s a procession, in fact after 3QT you could say its a cakewalk. Extremely even effort – the votes are harder than usual.

5. Cotchin was our best player over 4 quarters. He does so much hard work, you just glimpse him involved everywhere, with the occasional big hit. He can stop a charging rhino. Imagine Cotch and Dusty on opposite sides, if you dare. The League match report has neither in the best players,

4. Astbury … but they do have Astbury as our best on. He’s playing better than Rance at the moment, doing all the great Rance things with never a brain fade. He makes execution mistakes, not decision mistakes. He took a fiercely contested marked running back with the ball where anyone else except Rance would have ‘killed it’ over the line. He’s a rock.

3. Riewoldt was huge. I think he’s at his peak now, he knows his own game so well and our uncomplicated game plan built around him up front means he is just enjoying his work.

2. Edwards again was too fast, too unpredictable and too precise in disposal for Collingwood to stop him.

1. Short played pretty well but his vote is just down to his 2 long bombs. Gave us a good lead but also a great laugh at Collingwood’s expense.

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Leaderboard

The clapper got a good work out in the first half of the game!

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A FIRST-HALF BLITZ AT DORKLANDS

They do try to create a sense of occasion, those folk at the Dorklands stadium, but, really, it’s a hopeless task. This barn has all the atmosphere of a 24-hour chemist shop, complete with flat lighting and garish advertising, including, strangely enough, many a chemist shop commercial blaring from those large screens. (I’m sure I’m not the only person hankering nostalgically of that bygone era when the scoreboard was a big black box, inhabited by blokes in dustcoats opening and closing little hatches to arrange white painted numbers on bits of tin. Instead, we now have these monster televisions WITH THE SOUND ALWAYS TURNED UP TO ELEVEN.)

Anyway, after a whole lot of rigmarole with some poor bloke singing a song and playing his guitar alone in the middle of the paddock, and then some more guff where we were all encouraged to wave our mobile phones around in the dark, a football game eventually got underway. And it started well too, with one of the umpires being immediately bowled over in spectacular fashion by a stampede of leather hunters. I reckon that if you’re kitted out in a pea-green shirt and lime-green socks then, really, you’re asking for it. We all roared our appreciation of the moment.
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Way up on the top deck, where they send general admission ticket holders at the Dorklands, I was surrounded by Saints fans bitching and lamenting in much the same manner as us Tiger supporters were obliged to do for so many years in the not-too-distant past. Watching St.Kilda players commit error after error, I did feel the occasional sympathetic twinge. As we know only too well, a footy season can feel like a Siberian odyssey when it’s still only mid-July and your team is playing that badly.
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The advantage of the top deck vista is of course the ability to admire the spatial dynamics of the game. You can see how a good team can open the game up with a sharp diagonal kick that moves the ball forward but also creates space for teammates to run into. From this perspective, it’s easy to see one of the reasons that Dustin Martin is such a great player, regularly slicing the game open with sharp kicks across his body. Given that he’s working at ground level, without the perspective that I’m enjoying from the top deck, it’s amazing how he manages to do this so consistently. It’s a wondrous thing to behold. The other thing evident from high up is the remarkable endurance running of linking players like Prestia, Edwards and Lambert. They’re up and down, and across and back all evening, and the momentum maintained by Prestia especially in this match was fantastic.

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Meanwhile, I’m feeling sympathy for Jason Castagna who, attempting to redeem himself after last week’s horror show in front of the goals, came no closer to getting one to sail between the big sticks this time around. So much of this difficult and demanding game plays out above the shoulders, with the difference between a champ and a chump being a matter of confidence and belief. On the up side, I was happy to see Cotch, Higgins and Grigg bring up the two flags, given their failure to do so in recent times. I’m sure Castangna’s personal drought will break before too long.

This game was largely done by half time. The Tigers were magnificent in the first two quarters, managing to score with great efficiency. Given our tendency to waste so many opportunities in the forward zone of recent weeks, this was great to see. By contrast, much of the second half of the game was a far less exciting affair. The ball zinged up and down the ground, but both teams turned it over regularly and highlights were harder to find. Many of us were hankering for the mercy rule in the final stanza, by which time all fizz had gone out of the contest. Junk time seemed to extend for at least twenty minutes and, at Dorklands, that somehow feels like an eternity.

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Benny votes:

5. Dion Prestia
Incredible running, coupled with an ability to trap the hard ball and then get it out into space. One of those players whose best work is so quick that it’s sometimes easy to miss. Kicked three goals too, as well as another one that didn’t count ‘cause of an annoying call from one of those pesky boundary umpires in the ridiculous green outfits.

4. Dustin Martin
Dusty was back to his tackle-busting, scythe-kicking best. Made a few errors, but these were more than off-set by several moments of sheer football genius.

3. Jayden Short
Provided terrific run all night long, and executed many a beautiful, raking drop punt. Always seemed to pop up as one of the links in our most spectacular passages of play. (No goals this week but is he a back man after all, so we really can’t expect him to kick ‘em every week.)

2. Toby Nankervis
Fantastic mobility around the ground, ceaseless endeavour and quite a few surprising moments where he exhibited the agility of a man half his size.

1. Jack Riewoldt
Amazing athleticism and selfless team play, punctuated by four sausage rolls off his own boot.
Notable mentions to the rest of the backline (Grimes, Rance, Astbury, Vlaustin and Broad), all of whom performed glorious and courageous acts.

Leaderboard

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Winning makes me nervous.

This is of course, a new discovery, given that Richmond hasn’t really been a Winning Team before in my lifetime. The nerves have always been there, though prior to this season that were linked with the fear of what would come after the final siren. What calamity would befall us? Which team would scorch us with a six-goal run, or come from behind in the dying stages to deal that final blow? What would that one Hawthorn fan say on Monday morning? (or on facebook straight after the game)

The thought of this game was making me nervous, and that may have influenced my go-to statement on Saturday morning at the shop.
“I don’t really want to finish on top of the ladder, it’s a bit of a curse. I won’t be too upset if we drop this one.”

Spoiler alert, I was quite upset.

Q1
For the first few minutes it’s the Toby Greene Show, despite the fact he starts on the bench. Apparently he will ‘take some time to find his feet’ when he does come on, and that’s fine as long as he doesn’t find his foot in the face of one of our players.

When he does come on, the crowd roars, which is not something I thought I’d say about a GWS crowd. They can also be heard as the Giants kick the first two goals, apparently, we’ll be taking some time to find our feet too.

I am struck by Shane Edwards’ beard. It is a very good beard.

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Our first goal is a Rioli goal, following great pressure from George (Oh, George) and Snags. Soon after, Cotch misses a shot that Luke Darcy tells us he’d normally kick, and I love my captain but nah, not really.
Q1 is patchy, and while we start getting more of the ball, we’re struggling to do much with it. Rioli goals again and you feel it might be ok.

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Q2
I begin face-timing with my 2yo niece, and intend to come back and rewatch the quarter, and by the end of the match I want to forget this game exists, so I never get back there, and the rest of this couch report is cliffnotes.

Also, 17 tackles to half time is rubbish, and we are clearly missing the tackling pressure of Graham and Conca.

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Q3
Both teams struggle with inaccuracy in front of goal, and the only highlight of this term is that Astbury plays well in his 100th game. I’ve been very emotional about Swoop’s 100th, particularly seeing Lids post a congratulatory Instagram story. It can never be said enough how determined, brave and dedicated Dave Astbury has been throughout his time at Richmond. He has worked so hard to build his game to this high standard, and has become a true leader of our team, while facing cruel injury setbacks and the wrath of a stingray. DAAS forever.

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Q4
I am optimistic about the 4th quarter, believing a strong start and better ball use would put us in good stead. Another goal to Daniel and things look promising, but it’s never quite our night, and things just don’t go our way.

Young players have chances, and our leaders go their hardest, but it’s just not meant to be. Poor George has a rough night in front of goal, kicking 5 behinds. I have no doubt that the boys will get around him, focusing on all the things he does to get those scoring opportunities, because that’s the Richmond way, and that he’ll have a blinder soon. For now I hope someone gives him a hug and some ice-cream.

The nerves return in the dying stages, as it looks as though we might flip the script on 2017 – sneaking in for a victory at the very last moment, but the siren sounds and there is no miracle, just that strange sound from the west of the town.

The rational part of me thinks that this could be good, the loss we needed to have to keep us grounded. The emotional part of me watches Toby Greene do a post-match interview with a water bottle stuffed down the front his pants and wants to throw something at the television.

I’d like to go back to winning now, nerves and all.

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Votes
Votes are hard and our team is very even.
5. Prestia – Love his work, love how he uses the low centre of gravity to his advantage.
4. Rioli – We are so lucky to have him. He is a delight to watch.
3. Grimes – Does what needs to be done.
2. Dusty – Getting back his dominance.
1. Lambert – Great player, so, so glad to have him.

Leaderboard

Jack! You've got to hold those! 🙌#AFLTigersCrows pic.twitter.com/NZraztmWM3

— AFL (@AFL) July 6, 2018

Its a bit late now to do a proper match report. After a tight first quarter we pulled way in the 2nd. They won the 3rd quarter to creep within 3 goals. And then we scorched em, torched em, boot-up-the-arse-out-to-the-back-porched em in the last term in Classic Tigers 2018™ style.

That moment above was my highlight. Jack Riewoldt, magnificent. He’s having a stellar season and in a very tight field has to be a chance of B&F honours.

We are such an entertaining side at the minute. We are Running On Top Of The Ground. Case in point – even the sloppiest handballs are finding someone. Looking at you Butts.

Why go back for the set shot when you can snap like that?

Callum Moore kicks his first of the night.#AFLTigersCrows pic.twitter.com/eOTt3P7uWv

— AFL (@AFL) July 6, 2018

Great contributions by Broad (10 touches first term) Grigg, Caddy, Edwards and Riewoldt. I am relying somewhat on the AFL match report and stats here.

5. Astbury
4. Grimes
3. Short
2. Martin
1. Lambert

Leaderboard

33: Cotchin
19: Martin
18: Grimes
16: Astbury
15: Short, Lambert
14: Riewoldt
13: Caddy
12: Edwards
11: Rance, Vlastuin
10: Nankervis
7: Conca
4: Higgins
3: Graham, Lloyd, Houli
1: Townsend, McIntosh, Castagna